Need your help quickly

[girlhappy]

I have a great opportunity to solve my big problem...but i dont know what to do.The thing is: i was/am in love with my so called friend(we dont have definable relationship actually). I have been suffering so much for months,really.He never answered my text messages, calls....just beacuse i asked him to finally define our relation(always on the edge of something, he brings it back to nothing). The thing is: i was a bit rough telling him that he is a coward and how i want to get away from this sickness. He agreed(about the sickness) and told me that circumstances defining us.
I freaked out and told him:What damn circumstances(meaning: he could see other people, not me, just sending me seducing or SOS text messages. I dont know. That was 3 months from now.
We didnt talk that long. I was very much in pain and had a feeling i am chasing his ghoust. It was terrible .I
I ran into our mutual friend yesterday.She told me something about him. And that was it.I had too much. Always something to remind me...and always that unsolved situation(worst thing in the world i.m.opinion). So, i send him text message again and he answered!(i asked him to meet me). So, we are going to meet these days...and i dont know what to say. I feel so empty and exhausted from all.I was thinking about telling him to close our relation but i know when i see him, feelings are too strong and everything could change.And i dont want to be back in kind of relationship we had. I just dont know.Help me to think of something calm, rational and clever.

 

[Laura M]

thinking about telling him to close our relation but i know when i see him, feelings are too strong and everything could change.And i dont want to be back in kind of relationship we had.

It probably isn't the best idea going to see him if you can't say no to this guy and know it isn't good for you to see him right now because you're getting hurt. If it were me, unless he shows a willingness to change and sort out the "relationship", I would cease contact with him for a while.

 

[girlhappy]

I am not sure how will i react. Seems to me..all feelings are gone by now. But, it might not be the case when i see this guy.
I dont feel anything right now. But, at times i feel too much.That is the thing.

 

[Bono's shades]

I'd meet with him, but ONLY if you are sure you will be able to tell him straight out that you are not going to put up with any more crap from him if the two of you are to maintain any kind of friendship, and if you are sure you can handle being his friend without any romantic involvement. If you can't, I think you need to stay clear of this guy. Frankly, he sounds like an immature jerk to me and you deserve better.

 

[girlhappy]

he is an immature jerk, if anyone cares.

 

[Carek1230]

Why would you want to be with an immature jerk? There are plenty of fish out there so to speak so maybe it would be best to just say Bye Bye Bye to this immature jerk and look for someone else? Someone who will treat you with respect and someone to share your likes and dislikes, someone to laugh with and someone you can trust and count on. Whatever it is you choose, good luck!

 

[lauramullen]

I wouldn't go see him. I have just about the same situation with someone I work with and we are working opposite shifts, but I try to avoid him so I don't have hurt feelings. When I do see him it may bring back those feelings. I would wait a little longer.

 

[Diemen]

he is an immature jerk, if anyone cares.

Shouldn't that answer your question, then?

 

[girlhappy]

Why would you want to be with an immature jerk? There are plenty of fish out there so to speak so maybe it would be best to just say Bye Bye Bye to this immature jerk and look for someone else? Someone who will treat you with respect and someone to share your likes and dislikes, someone to laugh with and someone you can trust and count on. Whatever it is you choose, good luck!

True,true. That "frank and open" conversation was helpful indeed. I realized he just wanted to paly games for the rest of my life, i said NO. I want more, quality relationship or nothing. So, he was acting like he doesnt care about me at all. like... Just go, if you want! I just said that i felt some closeness between us and that "closeness" doesnt exist in reality where he dissapears for months. SO, i felt: FINALLY OVER.
But, the thing is: as much as i want to find someone i can trust and count on.... "i "m waiting too long and all my hope is gone"
So, i dont believe i will EVER find anyone, and it is a truth because
i cant imagine response. Its just never happens to me, really.

 

[blindinglights7]

True,true. That "frank and open" conversation was helpful indeed. I realized he just wanted to paly games for the rest of my life, i said NO. I want more, quality relationship or nothing. So, he was acting like he doesnt care about me at all. like... Just go, if you want! I just said that i felt some closeness between us and that "closeness" doesnt exist in reality where he dissapears for months. SO, i felt: FINALLY OVER.
But, the thing is: as much as i want to find someone i can trust and count on.... "i "m waiting too long and all my hope is gone"
So, i dont believe i will EVER find anyone, and it is a truth because
i cant imagine response. Its just never happens to me, really.

First of all, I'm really sorry you're in this kind of situation. It's painful and can cause more heartache than it seems like you can deal with. I've been there, so I feel for you.

Now, sounds like that conversation was meant to give you a little bit of closure??? Which is what you need if you are going to get over this. It's so hard to leave a relationship when you don't know exactly where it stands. Are you wanting to even be friends with this guy anymore? By the way, in my opinion, if he's an immature jerk and he's hurt you this much, i probably wouldn't stay in contact with him unless something drastic changed. But that's just my opinion. Then again, I know that it's hard to let go of someone you love no matter how much they hurt you.

And you're gonna find someone. Really. There is somebody out there who is meant for you and will treat you right and give you the response you need for a healthy relationship.

 

[Carek1230]

Good for you. I hope in a way you feel better? Just give yourself some time and space and pamper yourself for a while. You will heal and be ready to find someone else. There IS someone out there, you just have to be ready to accept someone to coe along. you cannot force it but just relax, focus on being happy with yourself and the rest should all fall into place.

 

[girlhappy]

Thank you for your kindness. Good thing is: i really have sense of closure and it is so HEALTHY. I had this "chasing ghoust" thing and this unsolved situation was killing me literally. And obviously,Oscar Wilde was right when he wrote: "There is nothing more real than words!". It is unbelievable how all murkniness went off! I even dont have feelings for him, because he was so pathetic in his rude and insecure behaviour. No, i dont want that kind of person for my friend. He is not able to be my friend as well he is not able to be a boyfriend. And it is somewhat connected, isnt it?

 

[Carek1230]

You did the right thing. No doubt about it!

 

[VintagePunk]

I'm so glad you were able to get a sense of closure. Sometimes we have to truly leave the past behind before we can move forward, and be open to new opportunities. Good for you!