My Turn to ask for Prayers

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I'm here at home today picking up some clothes & things to take to my mother's. I'll be staying there for at least the next week while she tries to adjust. Getting through the funeral yesterday was almost worse than hearing the news Monday night, but I've read through all your replies & it truly helps ease the pain in my heart to know you guys care. :hug:

If you'd given me 1000 names & told me to list them in order as to who would take their own life, my dad would have been at the bottom - if he'd been listed at all. But his thoughts were twisted by either medication and/or sickness - it may have been his body, but I know the mind that chose to do this on Monday August 29 2005 was not that of the man that loved my mother for 36 years, raised me for 34, my brother for 31, and lived a full life for 61 years.

Please continue to keep us in your thoughts.... it seems the worst is past but we still have many difficult days ahead. Thank you all so much for your kind words - I love you all for your concern and compassion.

Lisa
 
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Hang on to the good memories.

My thoughts are still with you and your family.
 
Lisa, again, my heart goes out to you.
I can't imagine what kind of impact this must have on you and those close to your father.
I'm so sorry :hug:
We are here for you.
 
Yes Lisa..

this comes so unexpected and is so.. :sad: I just hope that you can feel that my heart goes out to you.. You are not alone :hug:

and in our prayers, and your family as well :hug:
 
wow, I'm so sorry for your loss.. :sad:

I hope things will get better, I'll be praying for you and your family. :hug: :hug:
 
Back at work this morning... trying to get back into my routine. Worried about my mom though & all the unpleasantness she still has ahead of her. Manuevering through the nightmare of "survivor's benefits"; determining what outstanding bills my dad had; deciding what things of his to keep & when to donate/give away/throw out what we're not keeping; worrying about my cousin (who's like a big sister), my brother & me; calling the Sherriff's Dept to determine what happened to the gun - my mom's older brother wants it so long as my mom's OK with that. Personally, I think that's morbid but I don't really care what happens to it so long as it never comes into my mother's home again.

Anyway, I am fortunate that my brother & his wife were able to be here for 2 weeks. Sid's in the Air Force in Florida, so he's doing as much as he can this week before he has to get back to Eglin AFB.

I found out Sunday that the strangest things will make me cry right now. We went to our church (mine & Mr. Blu's) Sunday morning for the first time in a while. There wasn't a sermon, but a presentation from a youth group out of Rome, GA. They used modern songs as part of the presentation (Devil Inside from INXS, Wonderful Someday from Everclear, Let it Be from the Beatles, etc.). Sunday Bloody Sunday happened to be one of the songs as well.... I don't know why, because my dad had probably never even heard a U2 song, much less shared a fondness for them with me, but the second I heard those drum beats at the beginning, I started crying.

The strange thing now is that I haven't listened to them all week. Their albums have always been my "security blanket" - I'd listen to them when I was angry, depressed, stressed, whatever. But I told Mr. Blu a few days ago I think I'm afraid to listen to them right now since my reaction in church Sunday. In particular, I'm afraid to listen to SYCMIOYO. I always associated that with my relationship with my mom but I know from here on out, I'll never be able to hear it without thinking of my own father's death.

Anyway, this post wasn't supposed to be this long - I've got work to do & phone calls to make for my mom & need to be focusing on that. Don't drop my family from your thoughts just yet... we're all still kind of empty & bruised and need to draw strength from the thoughts of those who care about us.

Thanks again.... I've never met any of you but words can't express what your prayers have meant for me.
 
:hug:

I know that mourning a loss like this will be a long journey from personal experiences (though it was two of my uncles, and not my father - I know that I can never truly understand what you are feeling, but I have some idea).

but this is such a wonderful group of people, I know that you will continue to be in their prayers as well as mine :hug: and there are plenty of people here to whom you can reach out if you need to talk. Myself included of course. :hug:
 
Lisa, thank you for sharing :hug:

I can't possibly have the right words for you to mean any comfort but I can tell you that it makes total sense to me what you wrote about U2-music at this time.

An aunt of mine passed away this winter and U2-music had the same effect on me.
Not comparable to your situation by far, but it just goes to show that it can strike a nerve.

The service in Church sounds beautiful, Lisa, I hope you were able to get some comfort there.
 
Lisa, thanks for sharing. It´s always good to hear from you.

Tonight, prayers to your dad, and to you and your family :hug:
 
:hug:

The business side of a loved one's death is awful. A bit of advice that may sound callous, but will come in handy: Order twice as many death certificates as you think you'll need. Every place you deal with will want one to keep. It's troublesome to run out.
 
whenhiphopdrovethebigcars said:
A prayer to you, Lisa

you are so strong :up:
Click to expand...

Thank you for the kind words but I'm not sure what I'm displaying is strength so much as denial. I know what's done is done & that he's gone forever, but it still doesn't feel real.

Once again, though, I want to say that I've been touched & comforted by you all. Your compassion means more than I could ever express.

:hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:
 
martha said:
:hug:

The business side of a loved one's death is awful. A bit of advice that may sound callous, but will come in handy: Order twice as many death certificates as you think you'll need. Every place you deal with will want one to keep. It's troublesome to run out.
Click to expand...


No joke, Martha is right. Luckily we were given the same advice when my father died and they came in handy. Good advice :up:


And prayers for you Lisa :hug:
 
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