My parents just asked me to be executor for their will!

[Party Boy]

My parents just asked me to be executioner for their will!

Hmm.. just got email from my parents asking if I would be executionner (sp) for their will. Have 3 sisters and 2 brothers and about 100 first cousins, countless aunts and uncles. I said I would do it but its the first time ever I've had to think about the mortality of my parents. Obviously they have always been their for me and it would be hard to imagine a life without them.

I did ask why they wanted me - response - they said I was the most level headed. Now that really did surprise me... if only they knew!

 

[Mr. BAW]

Do you mean the Executor???

Congrats, anyway and by the way, prepare for the family fight!

 

[KhanadaRhodes]

Do you mean the Executor???

i hope so!!!

 

[bammo2]

I was thinking that too

 

[Party Boy]

Do you mean the Executor???

Congrats, anyway and by the way, prepare for the family fight!

Ah..um.. yep, thats what I meant! Sorry...

Not sure if its congratulations or not - i mean, I was really surprised my parents thought of me as the most level headed - all my other brothers and sisters have degrees, where I was always the one getting suspended from school etc.. hmm.. good feeling tho - maybe they see something in me I never saw before.

As for family fights, well, my Gran died Oct 2003 and it pretty much tore my dads family apart. One of my dads sisters died 20 years ago. The guy she had married has since remarried a few times and is a millionaire a few times over. Anyway, my Gran did not include him in the will. While my grans will was being executed (is that right!?) most decided to disobey her will and include the guy who was excluded. My dad and few others disagreed and nothing has been the same since. I guess even if you don't understand the reasons why someone makes a will a certain way, its got to be accepted.

Hopefully won't have to deal with it for a long time yet!

 

[KhanadaRhodes]

i changed the thread title for you

this got me to thinking...i don't know if i'm the executor for my parents' wills or not. i'm their only child so i would assume so, but i don't know. they've never asked me or anything. i know my mom is the executor for her parents because she's a lot more responsible and reliable than her younger sister (although because of her there won't be much of anything left but that's another story).

death can bring out the worst in people, party boy. i saw it happen firsthand with my dad and one of his brothers. ticks me off to this day. 5+ years later and still all this tension.

 

[Party Boy]

i changed the thread title for you

this got me to thinking...i don't know if i'm the executor for my parents' wills or not. i'm their only child so i would assume so, but i don't know. they've never asked me or anything. i know my mom is the executor for her parents because she's a lot more responsible and reliable than her younger sister (although because of her there won't be much of anything left but that's another story).

death can bring out the worst in people, party boy. i saw it happen firsthand with my dad and one of his brothers. ticks me off to this day. 5+ years later and still all this tension.

Your situation might be a bit different. I guess if your an only child and your the executor of your parents will, I would imagine everything will be left to you by your parents anyway (or at least vast majority of stuff..) so might there be some sort of conflict of interest?

My 3 sisters and 2 brothers and myself all get on quite well with each other so I cant imagine anything bad could happen (although I guess when money comes into it, you start to see sides of people you never knew existed). Who knows, I guess end of day my parents would probably have everything split 6 ways rather than have someone gaining more than others. Who knows!

P.S. - thanks for changing thread title!!

 

[KhanadaRhodes]

Your situation might be a bit different. I guess if your an only child and your the executor of your parents will, I would imagine everything will be left to you by your parents anyway (or at least vast majority of stuff..) so might there be some sort of conflict of interest?

My 3 sisters and 2 brothers and myself all get on quite well with each other so I cant imagine anything bad could happen (although I guess when money comes into it, you start to see sides of people you never knew existed). Who knows, I guess end of day my parents would probably have everything split 6 ways rather than have someone gaining more than others. Who knows!

P.S. - thanks for changing thread title!!

yeah. i've got a half sister (this is my dad's second marriage) but none of us have seen or heard from her in 10+ years so i don't know if anything will be left to her or not. now you've got me to thinking and i'm gonna have to ask my mom about this when i see her later.

that's good that you guys all get along. i'd said death can bring out the worst in people. it's not the death, but the possibility of financial gain that brings out the worst in people. what should be a sad occasion almost becomes like money falling out of the sky. everyone scrambling to get what they think is their fair share, everyone claiming they were that person's favourite relative, etc. i'm glad i'm an only child so i don't have to worry about anyone coming out of the woodwork. i've only got two cousins, and then some aunts and uncles.

all this talk is depressing though. to be honest, i don't know what i'll do when my parents die.

 

[Laura M]

Due to a bit of health issues that my parenst are having now they told me they are going to make a will soon. I don't like discussing it but my Dad has told me it's vital he makes one because his family (who don't speak to him apart from his brother, their sisters bought my Granny's house and put it in my aunts husabnds name and never told him or the brother) would and take all his money, my Mum's probably wouldn't, they no longer have any contact with her either. My brother, sister and I already know that if anything happened that everything is to be shared equally but my Mum always makes a joke if my sister and I like a piece of her jewellery by saying we can have it when she "crokes it". My Mum and Dad did tell me that if anything happened to them before my sister turns 18 **touch wood" that they want me to be her legal guardian and to pay for all our degrees with money they would get from their insurance/ work. I don't see that my siblings and I would ever fight about material possesions and our parents treat us all equally, none of us get any preference in the event of their deaths.

I find it a subject that's really hard to talk about.

 

[Party Boy]

I guess its one of lifes journeys - when you are young/relatively young, family and parents mean everything to you. As you get older, you start to build up your own life and start to rely less and less on your parents. I am 32 and at the moment, I see my parents, I guess... 2/3 times a year (they are at home in Ireland, I am in London). However, we get along very well and there are no issues at all.

As we continue to get older, we might get married, have mortgage, have kids etc, and again, the ties, both physical and emotional to our parents are somewhat diminished because we will have other people (our wifes, husbands, kids etc) who will demand their share of our emotional output. Similarly, maybe we don't see our siblings as much as they would have their own families to look after. Last Christmas was the first time in 8 years everyone of my siblings and parents were together for Christmas. One lives in London (near me), one in Australia, one in Prague, one in another part of Ireland and one is in Bermuda.

As we get older, we will have other pressures such as bringing up kids, maintaining a mortgage etc. Meanwhile, our parents are getting old, their health is fading and need a lot more maintenence etc. Eventually when they do pass away, your share of the will would be greatly appreciated to help pay off debts etc.

Am trying to envisage what makes close families turn on itself. I could not imagine it happening with my family. Then again, my dad said he could not ever see it happening with his, yet it did. I'd like to think whatever situation I am when that dark day comes where both my parents have passed away, that we would cope and agree to respect wishes of what is written in the will.

I agree its a subject hard to talk about.

 

[Laura M]

I guess its one of lifes journeys - when you are young/relatively young, family and parents mean everything to you. As you get older, you start to build up your own life and start to rely less and less on your parents. I am 32 and at the moment, I see my parents, I guess... 2/3 times a year (they are at home in Ireland, I am in London). However, we get along very well and there are no issues at all.

As we continue to get older, we might get married, have mortgage, have kids etc, and again, the ties, both physical and emotional to our parents are somewhat diminished because we will have other people (our wifes, husbands, kids etc) who will demand their share of our emotional output. Similarly, maybe we don't see our siblings as much as they would have their own families to look after. Last Christmas was the first time in 8 years everyone of my siblings and parents were together for Christmas. One lives in London (near me), one in Australia, one in Prague, one in another part of Ireland and one is in Bermuda.

As we get older, we will have other pressures such as bringing up kids, maintaining a mortgage etc. Meanwhile, our parents are getting old, their health is fading and need a lot more maintenence etc. Eventually when they do pass away, your share of the will would be greatly appreciated to help pay off debts etc.

Am trying to envisage what makes close families turn on itself. I could not imagine it happening with my family. Then again, my dad said he could not ever see it happening with his, yet it did. I'd like to think whatever situation I am when that dark day comes where both my parents have passed away, that we would cope and agree to respect wishes of what is written in the will.

I agree its a subject hard to talk about.

I am 20 in a few weeks and both my parents have heart problems, my Dad's already had a heartattack and his Dad dropped dead when he was 48 (my Dad's 44) and my Dad was 24 at the time. I guess I don't have the comfort in the fact that I know my parents could live well into their 70's or until they are older. I also have a sister who is ill, if anything happened to my parents we wouldn't spend our time arguing between ourselves. My sister has even said that she thinks we should all live at home together if we are not married if anything happens to them or that if any of us are struggling finnacially she would like that person to have the house. I just think life is too short for arguing about money, I know my siblings would say the same.

 

[Party Boy]

I am 20 in a few weeks and both my parents have heart problems, my Dad's already had a heartattack and his Dad dropped dead when he was 48 (my Dad's 44) and my Dad was 24 at the time. I guess I don't have the comfort in the fact that I know my parents could live well into their 70's or until they are older. I also have a sister who is ill, if anything happened to my parents we wouldn't spend our time arguing between ourselves. My sister has even said that she thinks we should all live at home together if we are not married if anything happens to them or that if any of us are struggling finnacially she would like that person to have the house. I just think life is too short for arguing about money, I know my siblings would say the same.

Wow, am sorry to hear about your sister and your folks - hopefully with the treatments available today, everything will work out.

My Dad just turned 64. His dad, died just after he retired aged 64. I'm not sure how consious he is of this - I think it plays a little on his mind. I guess you have to try to live life as much as possible and enjoy whatever length of time we have.

Hope everything works out for your family Lara.