My friends all seem kinda ahead of me...

[cobl04]

In terms of relationships and such. I feel kinda outta place (being 15) and they are talking about kissing girls and going further...and I have never been out with someone. I'm not really great looking, but my veiw has always been that even though my friends might be afead of me one day I'll meet someone and I'll end up happy. Being 15, is this a stereotypical veiw and life just isn't like that or could it turn out okay? I have always been a bit of a pessismist.

 

[Angela Harlem]

You know, it really sucks hard that you are looked upon as different if you haven't slept with someone and experienced at least one major life problem by the time you're 13, these days. Dude, you have around 10 (give or take 5 years on each side) years ahead of settling into a life and working out where you're heading. A lot is going to change in the next decade for you. You will work out where you will spend most of your working life. Will you be a career person? Will you chop and change and experience as much as you can? Will you be a traveller? And so on. In due time, maybe 15 or 20 years, or even maybe not at all, you will or will not eventually settle down with someone. You might have 1 relationship worth talking about in between, or you might have 10 relationships. You might have none and meet The One first off.

This is all about you, mate. YOU will kiss a girl when there is a girl there and it is the right time to do so. It is one of many things which find a niche in the next phase of your life - the transition from teen to established adult. Dont fear changes or time taking it's sweet own to get you your fill. Enjoy it. Because you wont look back and regret not having kissed a girl until you were 18 or 25 or 31. You wont regret not having found your path in whatever when you are there. That's the only time you can look back and see the road behind you.

Work only with what you have control over, mate. Life is going to deal you many unexpected things. You shouldn't fear or be nervous of it. A lot will happen when it has to.

 

[Tilli]

I think alot of it is to do with confidence. I think in some ways it is more difficult being a young guy as I think there is still the expectation that the guy will do the asking out. I also think there may be alot of "talk" when you are 15 and some of your friends may exaggerate a little!

Yes, I think you will meet someone and it is partly about not being afraid of what might happen. If you lack confidence then I think you can often give off he wrong signals to the opposite sex so be aware of that. Just relax, chat to girls and be yourself is the best advice I can give you. Some girls really love a guy who isn't over confident and hasn't been out with loads of people - so you are at an advantage here!!

 

[{paintedroses}]

You've got nothing to worry about. You've got loads of time to start having girlfriends and so on.. I know people who never had boyfriends/girlfriends until they were about 18 and in college, and even later than that, when someone comes along who you can have a mature relationship with. To be honest, at 15 you're not missing out on much by not having a girlfriend. You will meet someone, maybe not just yet but to think you'll be alone for your whole life just because of this is a bit silly.

Don't get a girlfriend just because you want one, wait until someone right comes along. Your friends will probably have had all these experiences with girls they aren't even that into but when you come to it, it will be better as it will mean something because you've waited for the right girl.

 

[Bonochick]

Aww, don't worry about it! Don't base where you feel you should be at in your life as a comparison to where your friends are. Besides...things have a way of really changing! For example...

I got engaged before two of my friends had even had their first boyfriends. Well, my engagement didn't work out. I have a different boyfriend now...but since then, one of those two friends got married, the other is engaged, my best friend got married and divorced, and another close friend had a baby!

I guess they all surpassed me!!!!!

So...once again...no worries.

 

[gareth brown]

I feel like I'm in the same boat as you COBL_04 I'm 16 and have never had a girlfriend, never 'got together' with anyone...yet some of my friends have...

One of them came back from their girlfriend's house one weekend and we were all sat down watching the TV and he just starts going on about all the 'stuff' they got up to while he was away...and they got all "Oh, wait...maybe Gareth doesn't want to listen to this...?"

damn bloody right I don't want to hear about it, it's not really something I'll just chat about off the cuff like that, and I'm certain his girlfriend wouldn't want him to be bragging to his mates about all that...

but still, it annoys me how they assume I'm some weird kid who goes 'EUGH! GIRLS!!' before covering my ears and running from the room screaming!

i'm hoping things will pan out in the future, but don't to worry about 'being behind' in the whole relationship stake. Don't let what other people are doing give you an idea of how you should be living your life!

The best thing you can do is just give it time! Good things come to those who wait, etc. etc.

Get to know people better, you're bound to find someone you like and will know well in a friendly way, what better way to start a relationship?

That way you're people who like each other for who you are, not just people diving into a relationship based purely on looks, only to find you have nothing in common. (Not saying those around YOU are like that, but too many people I know just say "Ooh, (s)he's sexy. I'll ask her out." Kissing and heavy petting ensues but when it comes down to conversation, they can't stand each other's interests, have nothing to say and the relationship crumbles to dust in an instant!)

in conclusion [sorry i've wittered on] don't feel like you're being left behind...people around you are just running into things FAR too quickly, unless you know a couple who have been seeing each other for quite a long time and are genuinely in love etc. Everyone's different, so if it takes you and I another five years to get a girlfriend, then so be it. You'll be the one laughing when you've found a nice, genuine person you know is right for you, while those who just rushed into things will be sitting around with erecticle dysfunction and thinning hair...!

 

[youtooellen]

I know what you mean. I'm 16 and I suppose I've had my share of boyfriends but I must say that they were all not-so-good choices. Don't do things spur of the moment because that just leads to bad things. Like others said, it'll happen one day, and just make a decision not basing off of what you're friends have done.

In the past, a close friend and I did that and we just left it on bad terms. Wasn't exactly the greatest for either of us.

You'll surpass them at one point or another because you've got the right idea of what you want and you've got an open mind about this. unlike your friends who seem to be the type to 'brag' about what they've done.

don't worry
you'll meet someone great, maybe not now, but you will

 

[discothequeLP]

dude, don't worry too much about it. you learn quickly when you're young . when i was 15, i didn't know shit. look at me now!

 

[XHendrix24]

Don't worry about it, man. Another 16-year-old here. I've had a fair number of relationships so far (though probably only one I could consider a "good relationship" on the whole), and rushing into those things is the LAST THING you want to do. In my opinion, at least.

Don't even worry about your friends being "ahead of you," either. Personally, a fair amount of my friends have been somewhat sexually liberal in the past, and all I've done is kiss a few girls. But, do I feel compelled to "catch up" with them any time soon? HELL NO. Considering that I've ended up regretting kissing about half of the girls that I've kissed, I don't even want to think about how much I'd regret doing...other things. Eek.

To sum things up, don't feel like you need to rush into anything. Wait until someone you really like (for more than their looks) comes along, and then take it from there. You've still got plenty of time to find someone that's special to you, too. I mean, there are loads of people in their thirties and above still looking for and finding people. You're fifteen, barely in high school. You've got more than enough time. Good luck, man.

 

[unosdostres14]

I feel the same as you guys. I'm almost 16 and never been in any relationships. It's tough. Seems like all the guys that are completely shallow and don't care about girls at all are the ones that end up with girlfriends. Seems as if character and personality don't matter anymore....

I made a thread on this in IO, but I got my first homecoming dance coming up, on October 1st. I was wondering if anyone in here has any pointers. I'm going with a girl who's a year older than me, and I want her to be at least somewhat interested in me after this. I definetly don't want to screw anything up. If anyone with experience in high school dances has any tips, let me know.

good luck with your love lives everyone. I DEFINETLY understand exactly what you're feeling. story of my life pretty much.

 

[XHendrix24]

Yeah, I haven't had a girlfriend in over a year or so now, so I've had my share of relationship problems lately, too. I agree that most people around my age don't seem to care about character, personality, honesty, or sincerity. Probably why I haven't really been interested in anyone in a while.

As far as the homecoming thing goes, I generally loathe dances, so I don't know if I can help all that much. If you want to the girl to keep interest in you, all I can really tell you is to be nice to her and try to keep an interesting conversation going most of the time. Try not to talk about yourself too much and instead ask her about her interests, etc. People are vain and therefore love talking about theirselves - don't forget that.

Hope the dance turns out well for you.

 

[redkat]

You're all so young! While it may seem that you're behind you're all normal.

Not everyone is doing it!! You're not the only ones that haven't had relationships it's very common for people to go through high school without a real relationship.

So give yourselves a break and relax!

Once you get out of high school that's when the relationship fun and turmoil begin for most people.

So for now enjoy not having responsibilites and have fun with your friends

 

[For Honor]

Look...... this might sound out of character, but........


most relationships are bullshit.


In my experience, I'm only keeping in touch with 4 people post highschool, and they are all in different colleges now, so I never see them. As far as "relationships" in your teen years, yeah, there are tons of horemones (or whoremones)....... and it's all fine and dandy

but I really disliked highschool, because even though there was sincerity, to me, it wasn't real. I had friendship, but.... there was never nothing I could bank on. Nothing that would last. And personally, that's what matters - lasting.


So really, I suggest not giving a damn about relationships in school


School, believe it or not, is about your studies. So you can go to college, and get a good job. Get a good job, take care of your family, stay in touch. Do those two things, .... in otherwords...... TAKE CARE OF YOUR PRIORITIES, (or at least, have them in order...)

and I think that you'll find yourself in a decent position to have a relationship.


you;d be surpsied at how many people you know in HS, later on in life don't have any meaningful relationships.


But the fact that you are concerned about it now IS a good sign.... it will just take you some time to ..... understand things more clearly.



bottom line:


don't worry.

 

[Moonlit_Angel]

I'm 20, almost 21, and I've only had one relationship thus far. And it was pretty innocent in terms of "stuff" going on, too-I've never even had a proper make-out session with a guy.

Like stated, no need to rush yourself in regards to levels of relationships. You do what you feel comfortable doing whenever you feel comfortable doing it. Don't feel like you have to keep up with your friends-they do what they want to do, you do what you want to do. And when the right person comes along that you want to have a relationship with, I am quite sure you will know it.

Until then, realize that being single can have some perks to it, too, and enjoy those perks .

Angela

 

[Got Philk?]

Off topic response. It's nice to see some young U2 fans on this here board.

On topic response. Stay young as long as you can...
Relationships are overrated. Especially at age 15. Friends are great. Especially at age 15.

 

[For Honor]

I'm 20, almost 21, and I've only had one relationship thus far. And it was pretty innocent in terms of "stuff" going on, too-I've never even had a proper make-out session with a guy.

aww........

well....... that could change easily, you know............

heh...

 

[For Honor]

Don't mind me, everyone, I've been a little out of it lately. I'm not feeling well, or I wasn't, but now I'm feeling a lot better, in some ways.


Anyhow, as far as wanting to stay young....

if you don't like being immature, don't let anyone push you into staying young. That's one thing that I never liked about my parents.


I am not a......... a typical teenager, in that I do not like to "do fun things" all the time. I don't like socializing, I don't like gossip, I don't like going to parties, I don't like most video games anymore, or at all, I don't like pop music, I don't like etc, etc, etc.


I wish my parents pushed me more as a kid, into harder courses, and into more.... activities, and stuff. I wish I expanded my horizons eariler in life.


BUt really, I can't stand being young. I never, ever liked it, and I don't give a you know what about anyone saying I should act my age. I'm not saying I'm mr maturity, of course not, look at many of my posts, and, if you could, look at me right now. I'm essentially a typical 18 year old, in ........ more than a few ways, I guess.

But if you don't like being young, then don't worry about it. Be productive in your own way. If you are a different kind of person, don't unnceccesarily conform - you can only find authentic happiness if you are being your authentic self, I always say.

 

[For Honor]

I don't do drugs, including alchoal, either.

A sip of wine is fine now and then, but I never liked beer. And besides, wine has antioxidants, which are good for you (red wine). But really, if I was to push anything, it would be Arizona's Pomegranate Green Tea (which is now my current "buy" drink). I like water a lot, and anyone who doesn't like water should theoretically not exist... anyhow....

Pomegranate juice is really good, lots of antioxidants, so if you're worried about things like that, drink PoM wonderful. I just had it for the first time today, and it's not that bad.



That's all. I'm sorry for going so far out on tangents in your thread. I suppose I should eat something, and then go to bed. I've been so busy I forgot to eat!

OH YEAH!

EAT BREAKFAST.

Do it. (not as in "nike", but as in "starsky and hutch".... 'do it')


anyhow.... yeah, you'll feel hungrier later on in the day, but that's because the energy your using is coming from the food, and not sapping away from your muscles!

(muscles before fat, right, fellow interferencers??)


I....... should go now......
yes.


Goodnight.

 

[Badyouken]

Oh man, don't worry about it. You have a lot of time ahead. Of all your friends' relationships, probably none will last through High School. I understand you might feel left out, but... left out of what? Guys bragging about what they did with their girlfriends? I don't know but this doesn't seem like a very good relationship. They don't seem in love. If they were, they'd shut up about such intimate details.

Just wait. It'll come when you least expect it. In the meantime, enjoy your time at school!

 

[ZeroDude]

Off topic response. It's nice to see some young U2 fans on this here board.

On topic response. Stay young as long as you can...
Relationships are overrated. Especially at age 15. Friends are great. Especially at age 15.

They're overrated at 17/18 as well

Truthfully though, even though I'm just a few years older than you (COBL_04) I've changed alot sice I was 15, I'm older, wiser and far more mature, enjoy yourself doing stupid, pointless things when your that age, that's what I did and I don't have any hangups about it, it does however annoy me when I hear kids talking about about having "serious" relationships at a young age when really we all know that during our formative years we're pretty full of shite

Come to think of it when I'm 22 I'll probably think I was an eejit at this age aswell............................. and so on and so forth

 

[Techie2000]

I'm 18, never had a relationship/girlfriend. I don't know why, I try to just not worry/think about it. I figure if something ever happens, it'll happen, otherwise I'll just concentrate and try and be happy in other parts of my life.

 

[Moonlit_Angel]

aww........

well....... that could change easily, you know............

heh...

LOL .

Angela

 

[cobl04]

I feel the same as you guys. I'm almost 16 and never been in any relationships. It's tough. Seems like all the guys that are completely shallow and don't care about girls at all are the ones that end up with girlfriends. Seems as if character and personality don't matter anymore....

I feel exactly the same! I like to think of myself as a nice, sympathetic guy but it is the ones who do the stupidiest things ever that get the girls. It's weird, it's like values don't even come into it. I've always thought that when I'm older they will, because at this age (almost) everyone is immature in some kind of way.

Thanks for the support everyone! It was really good to read some other people are sharing roughly the same dilemma. I have found a new forum to enjoy posting in! (EYKIW and WTAHNN get kinda tedious and repititve after a while - "Mercy. How great is it? Pop is great. AB is great. The 00 era is great. Mercy is so good, etc, etc).

 

[For Honor]

Interference has many, many things to offer. It still surprises me to this day. Be careful not to get too hooked though. But if you do.... there's already a thread here in ZC where you can confess it

 

[Needle_Chill]

Personally I think 15 is too young to date. I had my first date at 15, and it was terrible cause kids in general (obviously not you) are immature and stupid at that age. I didn't have a clue what the hell I was doing anyway...

Now I'm 18, going on 19 in January and I've been in 3-4 relationships, one lasting over a year. My point is don't base how good you are at dating or how experienced you are until you actually get older and have time to mature and to let others mature in terms of relationships... it's a slow process but it WILL work out.

 

[Moonlit_Angel]

I like to think of myself as a nice, sympathetic guy but it is the ones who do the stupidiest things ever that get the girls.

For what it's worth, guys who do stupid stunts a la "Jackass" and things like that are automatically unattractive to me, and if a guy I do like does something stupid (not quite on the level of the aforementioned stuff, but still pretty stupid), I'll still let them know it was such. I kinda like the guy I have an interest in to be, you know, alive long enough to get something started...don't know why, but it helps.

Originally posted by COBL_04
Thanks for the support everyone! It was really good to read some other people are sharing roughly the same dilemma. I have found a new forum to enjoy posting in! (EYKIW and WTAHNN get kinda tedious and repititve after a while - "Mercy. How great is it? Pop is great. AB is great. The 00 era is great. Mercy is so good, etc, etc).

No problem . Glad we've helped you out. And yes, feel free to check out as many parts of the board as you like...there's lots of interesting areas.

Angela