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Old 03-07-2001, 08:49 PM   #1
War Child
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my confession

mr. big man upstairs, this is my confession. actually, i'm not catholic, so i dont know that i can do this. i mean, when i was orthodox i could but now im not so is it ok or not? hmmmm, this is very hard. ok. well. i guess that was my first confession, that is, that i havent been to confession in a long time. or something. what else should i confess. well. letsee. im not in love. i dont have a secret crush. oh, but i did do something mean. i stopped talking to this girl and sent her an email breaking things off and havent talked to her since. it was kinda mean i guess. but she kinda deserved it. she kept standing me up. so maybe she deserved it. then i guess i cant really confess to doing anything wrong. k. heres one. i cant dance. not a single step. and i have to go to this wedding in a few months and be a groomsman for one of my best mates. hes a fraternity brother o mine and a damn fine guy. his fiances a great lady too. i once had a crush on her, but he knows all about that. thats what drinking does. it makes you talk about things you shouldnt. but maybe it was better that i told him. anyway, back to the wedding. i cant dance. and the most beautiful girl from college when i went to college is going to be a bridesmaid. and shes single now. so i might have to dance with her. but ill probably screw it up. cause i cant dance. just like phil collins sings. and i get really nervous when i have to dance with women. usually i get drunk first. then it isnt so bad. but when i drink around women i like i get silly and make myself look stoopid. once i stood on a table in my dorm room in front of a girl i liked, picked up my guitar, and tried to seranade her. but it wasnt much of a serenade i think. later, she said i scared her. so i probably shouldnt do that. cause i dont want to embarress my friend. ok. enough about the wedding. what else to confess. oh jeeze, heres one. i actually hate people. not all people. just some people. and im a nice guy. but some people. they just rub me the wrong way. i know i shouldnt hate. but i guess i do. i think we all do. i need to work on that. i must stop this confession now. its gotten too serious and deep. wait. one last thing. if i ever am reincarnated mr. big man, please make me bono. cause i want to be able to think and sing like him. hes a lucky man, just like richard ashcroft sang when he fronted the verve. another great band rip. ok. thats all for now. im sure ill think of more later. man. this confession thing is wierd.......

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Old 03-09-2001, 08:35 AM   #2
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that was the coolest and funniest confession ive ever read popsicle!

ok..i know it was between you and the big man but once you put it here, its up for grabs.
1.all boys embarrass themselves in front of girls thay like and vice versa, so forget about the gee tar incident

2. the chick who stood you up. she deserves you not wanting her affection. she had her chance now you can move on with your life.

3.the dancing. Most boys can't dance! A good dancer is a rare thing, so dont worry about it. but my advice, get out some real bad music(coz thats what they'll have at the wedding) I recommend Stop by the SPice Girls, stand in front of a mirror and just feel the beat.
remember back to music class in little school? remember the music teacher that taught you to stamp or clap the beat? think of her and close your eyes and find that rhythmn.
See boys are too busy trying to impress most of the time, just do as I do, 'dance like theres no one in the room'. but dont go too crazy and start doing bono impersonations or anything.
and I suggest no big hand movements. these give away a poor dancer ina second. move your shoulders and dont try anything too crazy like breakdancing.
If you'r real adventurous you could record an NSync film slip and freeze frame it while learning the steps.
Okay, that last one was a joke.

Just relax, drink some champagne, breathe deep and find the rhythmn. You'll be dancing like John Travolta in no time.

I hope you have a good time Mr Groomsman.

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Old 03-11-2001, 10:57 PM   #3
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Just get blind drunk. Your nerves about the girl will disappear and your dancing will suddenly improve, or at least your confidence in it will. And ignore zooropamanda, do try breakdancing! You'll be the hit of the party!
(Maybe this is an example of why so many people say I'm a bad influence on people...)
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Old 03-15-2001, 08:08 PM   #4
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That is one of the funniest things I have ever read! *lol*

I'm glad that you were able to get that off of your chest and share it with us!

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