My Best Friend Thinks Her Husband Is Cheating

[MsMofoGone]

Originally posted by joyfulgirl
The marriage isn't failing because he's cheating, he's cheating because the marriage is failing.

I can understand your sediment here ... but again, she has NO PROOF that he's actually cheating. Just because there are several coincidences does NOT confirm he's actually at fault by cheating. It is possible there are serious marital problems that must be worked out, if they want to remain together. After being married for 20 yrs ... I can also see how she wants to resolve this, yet not jump into anything wrongfully without necessary reason ... and to me, that makes sense. Why throw stones (more like boulders) if the accusations are false ?? She's been married for 20 YEARS ... she has built a life with him already. Without any proof, it would be outright foolish of her to predict he's cheating. The fact that she's depressed and upset tells me she needs to take a step back and NOT just make accusations because she thinks so.

Originally posted by FitzChivalry
It seems like she's trying to avoid the obvious and plain fact that the marriage is sinking by engaging in, as Joyful pointed out, these creepy and fairly juvenile antics of trying to catch him.

As I said earlier, she knows there are serious obstacles in her marriage. But, did you ever think that could be the reason she wants to believe he's cheating ?? What if he's really not cheating, but just as upset about their difficulties as she is ?? Maybe it's stress, fatigue, depression or instability that's causing the disarray of concern. If possible, wouldn't you think trying to work matters out, maybe counselling, would help ?? It might even save their marriage.

You and joyful seem to forget that I know both of them very, very well. I grew up with them ... they are NOT really like this on a healthy level. Their marriage didn't show any signs of problems a month ago, and to believe their problems happened overnight is really reaching here. There might be other issues that set this off, than just their problematic marriage ... as their marriage was never filled with this many problems before. So, maybe they are NOT prepared now that problems have surfaced. It doesn't mean he's cheating, and it doesn't mean he isn't ... it just means there's problems and obviously, one way or another, they need to decide how to work on fixing them. Again, that's why she feels she WANTS to find proof or at least try that option. Otherwise, she may be dissolving her marriage for no rightful reason. And after 20 years, it's not that easy to say 'Goodbye' ... if it's NOT indeed warranted for the correct reason.

Just my feelings about how I know them so well. This should NOT be happening ... it may just be a sign that they hit a crater in the road, and don't know how to get out. And at least, if it does turn out bad (once she gets proof, if it happens) then she will know their marriage ended for the 'right' reason, not the 'I have a feeling, but I was NEVER EVER VERY SURE' reason.

 

[MsMofoGone]

Originally posted by Doozer61
Exactly, whether its an affair or just boredom, communication needs to open up between the two of them. Something is not right in the relationship and now is the time to figure it out before the anger and resentment build.

Thank you, Doozer

 

[cell]

i've known my exhusband since i was 11-12 years old. we married when we were in our early 20s (i was 22). had daisy 2 years later. i thought i knew him very well until out of the blue he tells me he's leaving me because he's not sure how he feels about me anymore. few weeks later i found emails/online greeting cards to another woman. and this happened all very fast. i got out very quickly while i could.

 

[joyfulgirl]

Otherwise, she may be dissolving her marriage for no rightful reason. And after 20 years, it's not that easy to say 'Goodbye' ... if it's NOT indeed warranted for the correct reason.

Neither Fitz nor I suggested ending the marriage or making accusations, just that it's obvious something is wrong and it needs to be addressed directly (as in, "something is wrong with our marriage, can we talk about it?") rather than all this obsessive snooping around. Based on the information given, it does sound like he's cheating but as Fitz said, it doesn't even matter at this point--maybe he's cheating or maybe he's bored with the marriage or depressed or whatever. The reality is, something is wrong, she knows this, and imo is wasting her time trying to prove the cheating rather than doing something truly constructive about it, like maybe suggesting to her husband that they get counseling.

 

[FitzChivalry]

Neither Fitz nor I suggested ending the marriage or making accusations, just that it's obvious something is wrong and it needs to be addressed directly (as in, "something is wrong with our marriage, can we talk about it?") rather than all this obsessive snooping around. Based on the information given, it does sound like he's cheating but as Fitz said, it doesn't even matter at this point--maybe he's cheating or maybe he's bored with the marriage or depressed or whatever. The reality is, something is wrong, she knows this, and imo is wasting her time trying to prove the cheating rather than doing something truly constructive about it, like maybe suggesting to her husband that they get counseling.

Please believe me, I'm not trying to be antagonistic.

I never said he was cheating. I never said she should leave or divorce him (I don't even think I ever used the words "leave" or "divorce"). All I said was she needs to recognize SOMETHING is wrong and plan her next move.

What her next move is, that's up to her. Maybe an absolute direct confrontation, maybe suggesting marriage counseling, maybe just firmly and directly telling him what is going on in her mind and on her end.

I didn't assume anything about her, and obviously you know them both better than we ever could.

I hope everything works out for the best for all involved.

 

[MissVelvetDress_75]

My best friend from college suspected her husband was cheating on her and sure enough he was and it was with a fellow co-worker of his. The pain he put her through was enough for me to develop a certain amount of disappointment that I have yet to get over. Thankfully they managed to save their marriage through counseling. She is a better woman than me because I do not think I could remain married to him.

 

[MsMofoGone]

Originally posted by joyfulgirl

Neither Fitz nor I suggested ending the marriage or making accusations, just that it's obvious something is wrong and it needs to be addressed directly (as in, "something is wrong with our marriage, can we talk about it?") rather than all this obsessive snooping around. Based on the information given, it does sound like he's cheating but as Fitz said, it doesn't even matter at this point--maybe he's cheating or maybe he's bored with the marriage or depressed or whatever. The reality is, something is wrong, she knows this, and imo is wasting her time trying to prove the cheating rather than doing something truly constructive about it, like maybe suggesting to her husband that they get counseling.

I was speaking from the way she has addressed what SHE WANTS to do. As I have said in previous posts, she is very, very depressed and feels as if her whole world is in turmoil, which truthfully, it is. But, the only thing I have offered her is cautious advice ... as she is ready to plunge off the deep-end, honestly. She doesn't seem strong enough to handle counseling at the moment. She just wants to know the truth ... no matter how she has to dig for the answer (dirt) !! You know, like I said, he might not even be cheating ... but the fact that she has assumptions and certain coincidences, it's hard to steer otherwise, in a different direction. She's just falling apart with guilt ... blaming herself because he is very distanced from her. That's the reason why I thought it was BEST to get her out of her home and have her stay with me for a few days. Maybe her being away from him will help her straighten out her feelings of failure being her fault. And having a friend with her is much better than her remaining alone in that house with just him. Yes, she needs to resolve this ... but, I think a few days away to really think might be the BEST option for her first. I'm not going to think of ways for her to spy on him ... I believe they can resolve this, as long as he WANTS to, besides the fact she DOES.

My feelings are she's so-ooo hurt thinking he's blaming her for their problems that she feels trying to dig-up-dirt is her only alternative to prove he's no good anymore (or a cheat) I know she needs to ask herself 'How can I fix this ??' ... but right now, she needs support and help in regaining her dignity (respect). Once she has that back, I think she can seek counseling with him (if they want to) and they can get the help they BOTH need to work through this.

 

[MsMofoGone]

Originally posted by FitzChivalry

Please believe me, I'm not trying to be antagonistic.

I never said he was cheating. I never said she should leave or divorce him (I don't even think I ever used the words "leave" or "divorce"). All I said was she needs to recognize SOMETHING is wrong and plan her next move.

What her next move is, that's up to her. Maybe an absolute direct confrontation, maybe suggesting marriage counseling, maybe just firmly and directly telling him what is going on in her mind and on her end.

I didn't assume anything about her, and obviously you know them both better than we ever could.

I hope everything works out for the best for all involved.

No offense taken, Fitz. She is staying with me for the next few days to try and sort out what she feels is the BEST remedy for this unfortunate situation. Although, I hope they will seek counseling eventually ... I'm praying that she doesn't change her mind and wonder if it's worth the fight to save her marriage. You know, when she called him and said she was staying with a friend for the next few days, he said 'OK Fine, whatever you wanna do, Go ahead !!' That was his answer ... not anything about trying to convince her to come home NOW, or that he understands why she needs to get away, but he would miss her.
No ... instead he tells her to do what she wants ... and in other words ... he didn't sound like he cared what she did. Absolutely pathetic.

I must go ... she's opening up the bottle of wine in my fridge. It must not come to that ... not now, anyway.

 

[Lila64]

 

[indra]

Being in the private investigation business, we get calls all the time, mostly from women, saying "I think my husband is cheating on me and I want him followed to prove it." Our answer is "If you are making this phone call, you already have your answer. You don't need to pay us hundreds of dollars to tell you what you already know." We don't take on those types of cases because it feels ugly and a bit creepy to accept money to help someone "catch" their spouse doing what they already know they are doing.

There are plenty of PI's out there would gladly take your friend's money but I don't think she needs one to confirm what she already knows.

While I can understand you not wanting to take domestic cases, I also think some people do have to have absolute proof of a partner's infidelity even if they already should know this from the signs they already have, just as some people need to see and touch the body of a loved one to accept that person is dead while others don't need that proof. If it's something that's going to eat at her unless she has absolute proof one way or another, then she should get that proof so she can put it to rest.

 

[Got Philk?]

Maybe I missed this, but could she at all possibly take a personal day off of work and head to his work with a surprise lunch visit?

I don't know if that would help, but it might confirm without having to spend mucho dinero.

 

[Hinder]

I'm with the people that say asking whether he's cheating or not is simply immaterial. The fact is, this marriage is heading south. To find out he's cheating is only going to open up the big 'I'm disgusting' thing for her and make her feel worse than she already is. She needs to go to counseling, with or without him. This needs to be about her, right now. She needs to get her head on straight before trying to fix him, because she can't do anything about him. He's a grown man - she has no control over him whatsoever. She does not own him. If it comes to a divorce, so be it. If not, then they need to serious do some work. In any event, she's going to have to work on herself, period, without asking what his motives are, at all. It simply is less than unimportant now.

 

[financeguy]

This thread is a sad indictment of the pro-divorce culture in our society.

 

[Got Philk?]

I'm with the people that say asking whether he's cheating or not is simply immaterial. The fact is, this marriage is heading south. To find out he's cheating is only going to open up the big 'I'm disgusting' thing for her and make her feel worse than she already is. She needs to go to counseling, with or without him. This needs to be about her, right now. She needs to get her head on straight before trying to fix him, because she can't do anything about him. He's a grown man - she has no control over him whatsoever. She does not own him. If it comes to a divorce, so be it. If not, then they need to serious do some work. In any event, she's going to have to work on herself, period, without asking what his motives are, at all. It simply is less than unimportant now.

But all of this needs one thing before hand. Communication. Without that, yes, this relationship is going to end up in divorce. So, I would argue that she needs to ask what his motives are.

 

[Sicy]

I have a question : Would she (and any of you) accept him back?

Personally, I wouldn't. Once a cheater, always a cheater. Once he's strayed, odds are he'll stray again. Even if he promises and cries and begs, he can't be trusted anymore. If he's hurt me once, who's to say he won't hurt me again? I'd pack up and leave. That would serve him right. I hate to sound judgemental but there aren't any excuses for this... if you're unhappy, communicate and work on your differences. Don't take the easy way out and find someone else behind your spouses back.

I think its pretty easy to say 'no' when it has never happened to you or you've never been in the situation. To throw away a 20 year marriage because of cheating is probably not as easy as you might think. A lot of couples can get through things like this with counseling and communication. Cheating doesnt always mean you stop loving the person, or not want to be with them still, it means there are obvious problems in the relationship that need to be fixed, and a lot of time they CAN be fixed. NOT that I'm promoting cheating AT ALL. I'm just saying, every circumstance and relationship is different.

 

[anitram]

This thread is a sad indictment of the pro-divorce culture in our society.

?

 

[MsMofoGone]

Originally posted by indra
While I can understand you not wanting to take domestic cases, I also think some people do have to have absolute proof of a partner's infidelity even if they already should know this from the signs they already have, just as some people need to see and touch the body of a loved one to accept that person is dead while others don't need that proof. If it's something that's going to eat at her unless she has absolute proof one way or another, then she should get that proof so she can put it to rest.

Exactly right, indra !!
You know, it's kinda strange how I've said here so many times that her husband may NOT even be cheating (it may all be circumstantial) So, I can agree that she should try to find some truth in all this, and if that means 'keeping tabs on him' for a month or so, than so be it. Otherwise, if nothing is found out OR if he has legitimate reasons for his behavior and so-called reasons OR coincidences ... then, maybe she's just feeling so-ooo incredibly lonely and distant from him, that it might make her feel like that's the ONLY reason it could be as to why their marriage is in turmoil. Which again might not be the absolute truth. If she can't find any circumstances leading to his betrayal ... then how can she really feel he's cheating ?? He may be distant and ignore her for other reasons. Although, if it's NOT cheating ... I would really like to know what those reasons/excuses are.

Originally posted by Sicy
I think its pretty easy to say 'no' when it has never happened to you or you've never been in the situation. To throw away a 20 year marriage because of cheating is probably not as easy as you might think. A lot of couples can get through things like this with counseling and communication. Cheating doesnt always mean you stop loving the person, or not want to be with them still, it means there are obvious problems in the relationship that need to be fixed, and a lot of time they CAN be fixed. NOT that I'm promoting cheating AT ALL. I'm just saying, every circumstance and relationship is different.

Sicy !!
Thanks for being entirely honest. It's very much so true that she DOES want to know the truth, but at the same time, she does NOT want to end her marriage of 20 years. She would like to try and see if they can both fix their relationship and get it back to where it was BEFORE all this confusion AND distance took place. We had such a GREAT weekend ... my friend said I was a real comfort to her as she knew I was there for her. She's still staying with me now ... we're trying to work out a plan for investigation and supposedly it will take about 2 weeks. After this time is over ... if she does NOT have any hard-core evidence, then she WILL suggest they go get counseling to try to 'rekindle the spark' that seemed to disappear in their marriage. If she does find that he's cheating ... she has informed me that the marriage may indeed be over. Yes, she still loves her husband very much ... but the pain, hurt, anger and abuse from this cheating action is something she does NOT believe she can forget OR forgive.

I hope they can fix this, if he's NOT cheating ... as I would NOT want to see their 20 year marriage go-down-the-drain for lack of counseling or issues other than infidelity. That would indeed be sad.

 

[BAW]

I hope they can fix this, if he's NOT cheating ... as I would NOT want to see their 20 year marriage go-down-the-drain for lack of counseling or issues other than infidelity. That would indeed be sad.

I sincerely hope he's not cheating and that they can work this out. I agree completely with Sicy's post...20 years of marriage is certainly worth fighting for. The only question I have is if she does find out he's not cheating, is she going to come clean to him about having him investigated? If he finds out later, he may feel just as betrayed as your friend would have had she found out he was actually cheating.

Despite my opinions on the subject, I DO understand her need to know one way or the other but you can't ask for total honesty from your spouse while you are keeping secrets of your own, and having someone followed and snooped on is a pretty big deal.

 

[MsMofoGone]

Originally posted by Bono's American Wife
The only question I have is if she does find out he's not cheating, is she going to come clean to him about having him investigated? If he finds out later, he may feel just as betrayed as your friend would have had she found out he was actually cheating.

Despite my opinions on the subject, I DO understand her need to know one way or the other but you can't ask for total honesty from your spouse while you are keeping secrets of your own, and having someone followed and snooped on is a pretty big deal.

The problem here is Yes, there are serious 'flaws' in their marriage. But, if her husband would have told her the truth from the very beginning (when she asked him) with all the reasons why she feels their marriage is in turmoil, and what is going on with him, then she might have felt that investigating him would NOT be necessary. It's true she could have given him the benefit of the doubt, and believed what he supposedly told her ... but, there were too many incidences that do NOT make sense with his responses, and she's caught him in some (not all, but indeed some) LYING to her about the actual why.

So, in order to find out his secrets, yeah, maybe she NEEDS to have this one secret herself. If he's NOT cheating, there could be reasons that might lead to the fact that he was TRYING TO START seeing someone else, OR maybe he was in the process of 'closing in' on cheating ... then, I could see how her actions could be justified. She would get the absolute truth about this ... BEFORE it turned out to actually happen, and that would be a very GOOD thing as she might be able to have their problems 'worked on' and NOTHING would have happened yet on her husband's end, so they might resolve this issue afterall.

If it turns out coincidental ... then she may NOT have to tell him that in order to find out the truth, she had to hire an investigator. I don't know really, I guess it depends on how GOOD the investigator is at being secretive. Otherwise, how would he know he was under investigation, unless she tells him ?? Or, if she decides to 'come clean' and tell him WHAT she had done ... she may simply explain her reasons for doing so. Yes, I think he would feel upset and the trust would indeed be questioned ... but like I said, there ARE serious 'flaws' in their marriage already. Maybe he would understand why she did feel the need to investigate him ... or if he was further upset he might feel like they do need to try counseling. This could be a positive outcome ... right now, everything's in kinda a denial state ... she doesn't know the actual truth, so she can't say he's cheating for sure ... and he's acting rather strangely, but he is still with her, just not explaining what seems to be wrong.

 

[Hinder]

But all of this needs one thing before hand. Communication. Without that, yes, this relationship is going to end up in divorce. So, I would argue that she needs to ask what his motives are.

But first, she needs to figure out what HER motives are. Why doe she want to stay? Why does she feel she's being neglected? What's going on in HER mind? If she isn't clear about her own motives, his aren't going to matter, because she isn't going to want to hear them. She'll always be suspicious of his answers. He could very well just be tired and depressed. I know I personally don't keep the history logs of who called me when in my phone. And I personally hate it when people become intrusive with me, even if it's well meaning "I want to show you I love you' kind of behavior. I don't want family, friends, or lovers showing up at my job - because it's my job, not a hangout. It means I have to take attention away from what I'm doing to talk to them. It may be something, it may be nothing. She's got to figure out why she's so worried about what he's doing when he's not under her eyeballs. Sometimes, people who are reserved (and no idea whether he is or not, I don't know him) tend to get a bit peevish about people banging on their door ordering them to tell what goes on behind it.

 

[Kiki]

ummm.....ok I dont know how to say this and not sound like it's a warning persay or what not, but going back to what BAW said about having him investigated and what if he's truely not cheating, as well as going along with something Doozer said before about having that gut feeling.

BAW is totally right when she warned about having him investigated and the possibility of him not cheating, that's probably going to a hell of a lot of damage to their already downhill marriage.

But I do tend to agree with Doozer with the gut feeling. I do feel the need to say though that I for one, did have things I had found that lead me to solid evidence that cheating may be around the corner. You've said that she's never found emails, perfume, lipstick on clothes, etc. I'm only assuming here that by having him investigated you are meaning by a P.I. or something.

Now, I do kind of have to let you in on a tip that I'm sure that anyone that's been cheated on or has done the cheating can tell you--a cheater is always going to slip up somehow. No matter how good they get at it, somethings going to slip and it's going to lead to hard evidence.

In my situation, he never physically cheated on me, but the intentions were there. I knew about the addiction to the porn, I knew about the "friend finder" websites he'd visit, etc. It took alot of counseling and eventually a major break down of his own depression and then a visit to a psychiatrist, to help and break the cycle.
That was the one thing I never took for granted though, whenever something was going on or about to, I knew because I had that sick feeling in my stomach and sure enough, I'd find something, somehow. I don't want to say he was stupid because he never caught on, on how to cover his tracks....but eventually the truth comes out. It always does.

I do understand the situation she's in does seem like he is cheating, but something in me is still wondering.....what if he's not. What if he's really just working late and these phone numbers are new people in the company or other companies he just doesnt save the numbers to? you said he recently got a promotion to a manager position.......granted I don't know what he does, but maybe he's just got a lot more work and it's just taken some time getting used to how to do it all.

Although, I don't know why he'd close the screen of the computer when she walks in to the den....that does seem kind of strange.

I'm really not trying to make excuses for him, I've been there, I know what she's feeling and it sucks big time. She feels like she's about to lose everything and she's allowing this to take her own serenity away, which isn't right either.

I'm praying for you guys. As well as for him, that he'll sit down and come clean with her on all of this, whatever it may be.

 

[MsMofoGone]

Originally posted by Kiki
I do understand the situation she's in does seem like he is cheating, but something in me is still wondering.....what if he's not. What if he's really just working late and these phone numbers are new people in the company or other companies he just doesnt save the numbers to? you said he recently got a promotion to a manager position.......granted I don't know what he does, but maybe he's just got a lot more work and it's just taken some time getting used to how to do it all.

You know when he first got promoted to this manager position ... he was indeed stressed as he had alot to learn. But since about 1 week ago, he mentioned to her that things were finally starting to become less-stressful, as he knew everything he supposedly learned (in the past few weeks) So, she doesn't think he's really fatigued much about the job title and work load now ... she's pretty sure he's fine with it. Although, there is another concern as he recently had to pick one of his employees as an Assistant. Only because, when he would be absent (such as: sick, on vacation, or away on company business etc.) this person would have to 'take over' and 'run the show' while he was gone. Well, it turns out that he has a 'woman' co-worker as his Asst. My friend was fine with that, at first ... until he started spending alot of time with her at work. Now, true ... he would have to teach her everything about running the warehouse in his absence. But, it seems every time my friend called him ... she heard this other woman's voice in the background. She couldn't believe how many times his Asst. was in his office.

Today, her husband left on company business and won't return for about a week. He came home early this afternoon to grab his luggage and take a quick shower before departing to the airport by limousine. My friend went home as she wanted to say 'Good Bye, and Have a nice trip' to her husband. As she was relaxing in the living room, his cell phone rang. She answered it, because she heard water running in the bathroom and figured he was NOT out of the shower yet ... it turns out he was shaving, but when she answered the phone, it was his Asst. calling asking for him. She found this kinda legitimate (as he was going out of town and maybe she had a question) but she also found it rather strange (as he just left work 20 minutes before and was only home for the last 5 minutes) And she was calling him already with a 'so-called' problem ?? Her husband was raving about this woman last week, my friend couldn't believe how much he was talking about his new Asst. Supposedly he said she was doing such a GREAT job, she could run the warehouse as she was doing everything and only would go to him if she needed help with something.

So ... if his Asst. is such a GREAT employee who can handle doing the manager position with little help, than why was she calling him 20 minutes after he left work ?? He also programmed her cell phone number into his cell phone. Why wouldn't his Asst. call him from the company phone ?? The fact that they have exchanged cell phone numbers is what seems rather fishy. Why should his Asst. have his personal info (cell number) ?? If she was sick or wasn't able to come into work some day ... she could just call the work number and he would already be there, as he gets to work about 1 hour early. I could see if he needed her number, in case he was going to be absent, then he could call her to go into work early and play 'manager' for the day. But, something about her having his number doesn't 'wash' with me or my friend. He could have just called his work once he arrived at the hotel ... and left the number of the hotel on a voice mail at his work. She would have gotten the information (phone number) the next morning as to where he could be reached. I don't think having each other's cell numbers is a good idea ... there's an invasion of privacy about it. What if he was talking to his wife and SHE called ?? Would he just let his Asst. leave a message and if necessary. he could return the call ?? Or would he cut his wife short and give another reason/excuse like I have to go now, talk to you tomorrow/later ?? Not a good thing ... no way !!

Originally posted by Kiki
Although, I don't know why he'd close the screen of the computer when she walks in to the den....that does seem kind of strange.

She's concerned about his e-mails on the home computer too ... and wondering if he's e-mailing someone while he's home, he's supposedly supposed to be watching his recorded shows from earlier that evening when he's in the den.

 

[corianderstem]

For what it's worth...

As someone who was an assistant for some years, it's not all that unusual to have the boss' cell phone number.

 

[snowbunny00774]

For what it's worth...

As someone who was an assistant for some years, it's not all that unusual to have the boss' cell phone number.

It might not be unusual, however there is no need for it. Carrier pigeons are around for a reason, and there is no better way to have communications that cannot be misconstrued.

 

[corianderstem]

I tried smoke signals, but the building managers got awfully pissed at me for always starting all those fires.

 

[snowbunny00774]

I tried smoke signals, but the building managers got awfully pissed at me for always starting all those fires.

pigeons. if you diaper them even less mess.


pigeons > fire

 

[Mr. BAW]

You sure know too much about this couples ' hour by hour, play by play; sounds like a novel....is it you?

 

[MsMofoGone]

Originally posted by corianderstem
For what it's worth...

As someone who was an assistant for some years, it's not all that unusual to have the boss' cell phone number.

I used to be a cashier clerk at a cosmetics store. When the manager left, the Asst moved up to the manager position, and I became her Asst.

For the record, I had her home phone number to call her if I was gonna be absent OR if she was absent, she would call my home too. We NEVER exchanged cell phone numbers. Which definitely makes sense. I think your cell phone is more personal than you realize, as unless it's a WRONG number, most of the time, your friends and family will call you on that phone. (and way more often than on your house phone) The house phone is more for the solicitation BS and SOME family calls ... it would make absolute more sense for a co-worker to call a person's home number over their cell. Period.

Originally posted by Mr. BAW
You sure know too much about this couples ' hour by hour, play by play; sounds like a novel....is it you?

Nope. I can guarantee that, as I'm not married. The reason I know about their problems so much, is because my girlfriend happens to be my BEST friend. She calls me EVERY DAY with the story of what's happening. Also, since she stayed with me for the last few days, she was able to view this thread herself, then tell me what to post, as I would NOT post anything withOUT her knowing, that would be so-ooo wrong to do so. Also, I am trying to get some positive advice here on what she should do because of her situation. Basically, she's the reason for this thread, she asked me to help her and when she saw this thread, she was glad to see that alot of people were willing to give advice. She was judged fairly ... no one made fun of her or put the blame where it didn't belong, and believe me, she has told me that she's grateful for all the posts of advice. It seemed to help her make her decision alot quicker.

 

[BoMac]

I used to be a cashier clerk at a cosmetics store. When the manager left, the Asst moved up to the manager position, and I became her Asst.

For the record, I had her home phone number to call her if I was gonna be absent OR if she was absent, she would call my home too. We NEVER exchanged cell phone numbers. Which definitely makes sense. I think your cell phone is more personal than you realize, as unless it's a WRONG number, most of the time, your friends and family will call you on that phone. (and way more often than on your house phone) The house phone is more for the solicitation BS and SOME family calls ... it would make absolute more sense for a co-worker to call a person's home number over their cell. Period.

Uh....I know none of my co-workers' home numbers and vice-versa, as their cell is much more convenient because it's presumably on that person all the time. What if I need to speak to someone and they're not home? It would make sense to have their cell number. What if you're not home because you're stuck in traffic and you just left work? It would make sense that co-workers can reach you on your cell and vice-versa.

 

[snowbunny00774]

pigeons can find you anywhere.

pigeons > home+cell phones.