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FizzingWhizzbees

ONE love, blood, life
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Dec 30, 2001
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"Friends" - Help!

I just found out that one of my so-called friends has been "spying" on me online. When I say spying I mean looking for message boards he thinks I might post at or chat rooms I might visit, and when he finds them lurking there to see what I'm saying and who I'm talking to etc. Plus searching for my name, AIM handle, email address etc in search engines.

I didn't know any of this was happening until I was talking to him one day and he said something about me which he could only have found out through reading a particular message board I visit. Anyway, after I figured that out I confronted him about it and he basically admitted to it.

So....what do I do now? I really feel like this person has betrayed my trust, since he found out some stuff about me which I'd really have preferred to keep private, such as my old online journal. Maybe I'm over-reacting, but I'm SO mad with him. I mean maybe people do stuff like this on the internet, but to me it feels no different to if he'd read my offline journal, or listened to a conversation I was having with friends.

Anyway. Am I over-reacting? Should I just accept this kind of stuff happens and try to get back to being friends with him? Or do I have a right to be mad at him? Someone tell me what to do! :wink:
 
I think you have a right to be mad at him. The fact that he purposely looks for message boards and chat rooms that you might post in just so he can lurk there and see what you're saying is creepy. Why doesn't he just talk to you about stuff instead of trying to find the information second hand?
 
hmm...it's a tough one. i agree that it's creepy that he's spending so much time gathering so much information on you. it's like stalking. but i don't think it's the same as him reading an offline journal. i mean, there is a simple solution to not having your personal life exposed on the internet--just don't write about it. or at least leave out the things that could haunt you later.

anyway, i hope it all works out for you :hug:
 
Re: "Friends" - Help!

FizzingWhizzbees said:
So....what do I do now? I really feel like this person has betrayed my trust, since he found out some stuff about me which I'd really have preferred to keep private, such as my old online journal. Maybe I'm over-reacting, but I'm SO mad with him. I mean maybe people do stuff like this on the internet, but to me it feels no different to if he'd read my offline journal, or listened to a conversation I was having with friends.

Tell him how you feel about it and that it's your privacy what you do online even if anyone can find out these informations verry easily (A window without a curtain also dosn't give anyone the right to observe me)

Anyway. Am I over-reacting? Should I just accept this kind of stuff happens and try to get back to being friends with him? Or do I have a right to be mad at him? Someone tell me what to do! :wink:

You have the right to be mad about him, try to explain as exactly as possible why you are mad about him, maybe he'll understand it and never ever do it again, maybe not.. you'll see.

If you can trust him again or not? Well your future feelings will tell you.

Klaus
 
Thanks for all the advice, everyone :)

I think I'm maybe going to talk with him about everything and let him know that I'm angry with him about this and definitely think it's inappropriate for him to have done this. Then I guess I'll just see if I feel like I can trust him anymore...which right now I can't, but maybe I'll get over it, lol. ;)
 
Why Fizz isn't going to be around for a while.

Well this just gets better. Turns out I can't even post here without people reading what I write.

Just wait for this...I just found out that ANOTHER friend is spying on me. How great is that! I confront one friend about it and another one admits to the same thing! Wow, aren't I lucky to have such trust-worthy friends? (Joe, if you're reading, the first post was about you. Chris, since you're evidently also reading, this post is about you.)

I am so fucking pissed off right now it's not even true. And considering that I almost never swear, for me to be FUCKING PISSED OFF is a lot.

I'm sorry for posting this everyone, I'm just so mad about this and maybe it is an over-reaction, but I just hate feeling like I can't even go in a chat-room without being worried that someone's lurking there waiting to see what I say.

Who knows, maybe next my Dad will admit to secretly lurking here too! (Hi dad, just in case!)

Anyway...I guess I'm taking a break from Interland until either
a) I realise it's not a big deal if half my friends see fit to read everything I write here but don't have the courtesy to tell me, and so come back and post as normal.
b) Realise it pisses me off enough that I don't really feel comfortable posting here anymore.

Bye for now. :( :wave:

P.S - you should all feel free to tell me this is a huge over-reaction since I'm already aware that it probably is. But...I like my privacy, and I dislike dishonesty, what can I say? ;)
 
:| How do they know about this place and how do they know what your Nickname is?

It would piss me off. :angry:
 
I said it before, I don't think you are over reacting and I would be really pissed too. I think it's very creepy that anyone would spy on you.
 
gosh fizz im sorry you have to go thru this:(

please hurry back soon ok?:hug:
 
MissVelvetDress_75 said:
If i found out any of my friends were spying on me in here while lurking and tried to hold that against me i would be mad as hell. :down:
:yes:

fizzie, i don't blame you at all for being mad. i'm just sad that you have to go away. :( hopefully you can open a can of whoop ass (if not, i'll go up there and do it for you) on these fools. :wink: then you can come back! :applaud:
 
Re: "Friends" - Help!

FizzingWhizzbees said:
I just found out that one of my so-called friends has been "spying" on me online. When I say spying I mean looking for message boards he thinks I might post at or chat rooms I might visit, and when he finds them lurking there to see what I'm saying and who I'm talking to etc. Plus searching for my name, AIM handle, email address etc in search engines.


WTF, what type of friend is he? is this a boyfriend who doesn't trust you or just a male friend who acting a bit odd. actually what does it matter, it is not right to be spied on.

i would kick some serious ass if i found any of this out. :mad:
 
FizzingWhizzbees:

I don't know if you read that anymore, but i just wanted to tell you that i'll miss your posts. I really enjoyed to read your opinion. FYM (and especially Lemonade Stands "Describe the person above you") won't be the same without you

I hope you'll find your way to continue posting here. :hug:

Klaus
 
wow fizz that's horrible. :down:

your "friends" sound like true jackasses. they should be ashamed of themselves.

i hope you don't have to be away for long. :(



:hug:
 
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