Making Friends...

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Liesje said:

We got this e-mail from a new pastor at my family's church so maybe we'll have to join the "Twenty-somethings" Bible study *shudder* to see if we can make some friends at least...
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This actually probably would be really good for meeting people. You might check to see if they have a group for young married couples, many churches do nowadays.

Karl and I are being hounded to move to GR - his sister is there, my sister and her family are looking at moving to the area, and the cat place has an ad looking for a new doc...
 
bonosloveslave said:


Karl and I are being hounded to move to GR - his sister is there, my sister and her family are looking at moving to the area, and the cat place has an ad looking for a new doc...
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:hyper: Come on then! Phil needs someone like Karl to hang out with, I mean watch sports with. It's a buyers market here right now....

Which cat place? The cat hospital on Breton?
 
Well I gotta say that this thread is very comforting if only because it means I'm not the only one feeling the same way about making friends and I won't sound like a total loser when I share.

I've been in Chicago for 3 years now, and I was post-college when I came out here desperately seeking a job. My boyfriend is older than me and from this area, so all his friends are somewhat close by (although he doesn't see many of his often either). But all my close friends are spread out on the east coast. So the whole distance thing has taken its toll on a few friendships due to not being able to stay "connected" as we once were. Truth be told, I don't mind not always having someone to go out with or mind hanging around the apt a lot, and I spend most of my social time with my bf since we live together.

But as several people mentioned, it'd be nice just to pick up the phone and call someone and say I'll meet you in 15 minutes. I'm one of the youngest people in my office, with everyone else about 20 years older. And the few people I've become somewhat close with are those "work" friends...you talk about stuff but you don't see each other outside of work. Doesn't help that I'm in the southern burbs of Chicago and most people live closer to the city. So make it an hour each way to go travel to hang out with someone and you just can't do that all the time.

Don't get me wrong...I'm fairly content but sometimes you just miss what you once had.

at least it seems like some of you can relate...
 
Liesje said:


:hyper: Come on then! Phil needs someone like Karl to hang out with, I mean watch sports with. It's a buyers market here right now....

Which cat place? The cat hospital on Breton?
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It's a buyer's market everywhere - which is going to make it hard to get rid of our house I fear, fixer-upper that it is. It sounds like they are looking more for the Breton place but it may mean doing occasional shifts at the north clinic too. Don't hold your breath, but I'll keep you posted...
 
I hear you about the difficulty in making new friends, especially as you get older. I moved to Toronto 10 months ago on my own with work - I knew 1 person in Toronto when i came here first and that was it. Now, I have a good bunch of friends - some from football, some from meeting through people and some from just putting yourself out there. Its difficult as you have to get yourself out of your comfort zone somewhat. It involves doing things you normally wouldn't do, but in time, its worth it.

I know in Toronto, there is a big sports and social network called Toronto Central Sports and Social Club where they run all sorts of team events - so I put my name down on a team that needed players - i didn't know anyone when I turned up.

There is another organisation that is run across Canada and the US (and beyond) called www.meetin.org - they have branches in most big cities. People join and then post events which people can sign up to for free - e.g. going to a particular play or museum. You can also put your own event up and see if people are interested in coming along.

Either way, its a good option to help you meet new people - there are lots and lots of people out there in the same boat - you just have to try to find them and something like meetin.org or some city wide social club are good starting points.

Good luck though :)
 
bonosloveslave said:


Karl and I are being hounded to move to GR - his sister is there, my sister and her family are looking at moving to the area, and the cat place has an ad looking for a new doc...
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We certainly dont need anymore Michigan State fans in GR. :wink:






But seriously, we dont.






:laugh:
 
Blue Room said:


We certainly dont need anymore Michigan State fans in GR. :wink:






But seriously, we dont.






:laugh:
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Don't worry, we have her outnumbered! :D

photo1.jpg
 
Got Philk? said:
^ We're not going. Just so you know. :wink:


But with our $$$ situation currently, the free pizza and pop was veeeeery appealing. :yes:

Sorry God. :D
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:lol:

I know how you feel in a way. :hug:

My only real close friend around where i live is my best friend. ( Who ive known sincei was 5) Which is really sad really. Our school and college friends i have either lost touch with. I have 2 good friends at work but i don't see them outside of work very often as they live half an hour away from me. My other close friend has fallen out with me ( I really miss him :( ) None of my close family live round here since my mum died . I do know quite alot of people in my area but they're not really people who i'd want to call up and be like "Hey do you want to hang out?".

Party Boy good on you. :up: I'm thinking about coming to Toronto next year. I know several people who live out there.
 
Holy cow, my sis-in-law and bro-in-law are just seeing that pic from Chicago - they know you!! Joey and Gretchen played soccer with you and Jansen - they say hi :)
 
bonosloveslave said:
Holy cow, my sis-in-law and bro-in-law are just seeing that pic from Chicago - they know you!! Joey and Gretchen played soccer with you and Jansen - they say hi :)
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NO WAY! Wait, so how does this work? One of them is Karl's sibling? Small world...Well, say hi to them for me! :)
 
I have very few mates and I tend to upset colleagues-I dont suffer fools and find it difficult to bite my tongue and not say what needs to be said. Thatoften results in upset but I cant just tow the line or not say something that needs to be said.

I have even managed to get on the wrong side of a few on here that everyone else appears to get on brilliantly with to the point of worship.

One 'friend' once bought me a key ring that said 'I am not prejudiced I hate everyone'.

I am not a complete monster and I am a loyal and good friend tothe chosen few.
 
Like others have said, I think part of it is just post-college life. I was more social in college and went out a lot more, but once I started working, I don't have as much spare time as I used to. Also, when I do have spare time, I'm either tired or doing errands :lol:. It's also hard because people move away to different jobs in different cities - so we might get together every few months or once a year instead of every week.
 
Party Boy said:
I know in Toronto, there is a big sports and social network called Toronto Central Sports and Social Club where they run all sorts of team events - so I put my name down on a team that needed players - i didn't know anyone when I turned up.
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We have Circle City Athletics in Indy, and this is a GREAT way to meet people. We joined a kickball team that was all "free agents"- people who wanted to play, but didn't have enough people to form their own team. We started out as about 20 complete strangers, and two seasons later, we know WAY too much about each other. There are CCA parties and things, but there have been team-planned parties and nights out at the Greek Festival or whatever was going on.

On the whole, I've always sucked at making friends. I don't really like talking on the phone, so I tend not to call people I should (several of my Interference friends can probably back me up there :reject: ), and right now I can barely afford to pay my bills, never mind go have a girls' night out with people. I'm looking forward to going back to RI for the holidays so I can catch up with friends back there.
 
girlhappy said:


I always wondered...if i EVER find a boyfriend(which is impossible, anyway)-- will i be less social? I wanted to ask you... is it true that we single-people need and seek attention, warmth and love elsewhere? Meaning:if we had relationship, we wouldnt be so needy. What do you all think?
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I dont reckon a partner generally is what a group of friends is. That doesn't mean a partner is not a friend or even your greatest friend. But your friends are there for socialising, relaxing, doing things with, etc. Your partner is who's socks you wash and the person you make tea and toast for in the mornings. They're a mate, but they're a mate for everything in your life. Friends are the people you see once/twice/however many times a week/fortnight and do whatever with. You still need that when you find a fella. I've needed my friends for various reasons all throughout my 20s when I've been in a relationship. I cant really see that changing.
 
girlhappy said:
Nobody cares about my question.I guess i am the only boyless girl around here, for ever and ever:sad: :reject:
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When I first met Phil (my husband/starter of this thread), I became FAR more social, at least when it comes to meeting new friends. In grade school, I kept to my close group of friends, but when I met Phil and two new friends in college, I started to expand a bit. My grade school friends are still my closest friends though.

However, I've never been a "needy" person. At times, attention other people crave I consider rather annoying. When I go out with friends, I go out to have a good time with them, not as a means of hooking up and randomly meeting people. These days, I miss my friends for who THEY are, I miss THEM.

I could be the exception though, since I tend to have a smaller circle of very close friends whom I'm loyal too. I've had friends that I've held onto for too long and put up with far too much bullshit, but I tend to be "all or nothing", so if I have a friendship I've invested years in, it's hard for me to get mad at that person and walk away, even if they deserve it.
 
Got Philk? said:


NO WAY! Wait, so how does this work? One of them is Karl's sibling? Small world...Well, say hi to them for me! :)
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Gretchen is Karl's sister :yes: We'll have to see if we can coordinate dinner all together the next time we are out your way :up:
 
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