Originally posted by HelloAngel:
Remarkably, I have been at the same crossroads for awhile now.
This will seem quite bold and personal to say - but I have a very self-destructive personality when I get frustrated, bored, depressed or confused for long periods of time without the prospect of change or brightness. Instead of dealing with my mental noise in a healthy way, I will aim to destroy everything that everyone loves about me, and push them as far as they can get away from me. I don't know why I do this. It's a terrible, terrible cycle.
So, the other day I had a breakdown.
Breakdown.
Break through.
I decided that I had to get free of the rut was in, and inject me-ness into my existence as it seemed I was the only one not in charge of my day. My clients via email had more to do with the destiny of my happiness than I did. I am a true Free Will believer. I do what I want, when I want - and I haven't been in touch with that Me for quite some time. Until now.
I stood up, said "I'm sorry, I can't do this anymore." Saying this to your boyfriend who is also your "boss" (we started a company together) is a rather curious thing to do. I had to do it, and I'm glad I did it.
We had a long long productive talk and discussion on what we need to change in order to move forward, because we have bordered on stagnant and complacency for too damn long. We have plateaued in our lives and we were only banging up against walls.
So, in short (not really!), we are MOVING!
We are picking up shop, and frigging getting the hell out of this shit town. We are going to blaze our own trail this time and I am so happy. Things had to change and in 8 months, I will be able to finish my workday (with a much higher salary - yep, even negotiated a big salary) and know I can go places other than Barnes & Noble to get my kicks.
I know most can't afford to dramatically change their lives this fast - but when it comes to your mortality, your destiny and your outlook on life - it's imperative to get happy again. So, I did it. Whew! *sigh*
