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Old 10-01-2003, 10:30 PM   #1
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I'm a bug

I feel that I'm a pest for the rest of the people, my friends and my family... They are very cool and intelligent and I don't deserve them, they feel embarrased for me because I'm like a little fool girl with a head full of air

I always wanted to make them feel proud of me, and I've did everything, but that's not enough... sometimes I want to be another person, prettier and smarter just because I want them to like me. And I want to mean something to someone... now i realized that all the guys who were my boyfriends didn't love me, they were looking for things that I don't have, I was a replacement, and I felt guilty when they left me.

I don't know what to do, because nobody likes me when i'm myself, nobody likes me when i try to be someone else. I feel very alone now.
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Old 10-01-2003, 10:59 PM   #2
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sounds like it's time to get out of that sitution.
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Old 10-01-2003, 11:05 PM   #3
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zoogirl, i've seen your picture and you are beautiful. not only that you are an amazing talented artist. don't let anyone make you feel any different.
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Old 10-01-2003, 11:17 PM   #4
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I've never seen you much in the threads that I seem to hang around, but I liked your honesty. That's a very appealing characteristic in a person. I know what you're going through. I've been there. Be yourself and people will love you, trust me. I don't even really know you, but given your honesty and being that you wear your heart on your sleeve, I find that very attractive in this world of walls.
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Old 10-02-2003, 12:30 AM   #5
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you are beautiful, zoogirl. and you are an artist.
you are young, and you are strong.

give yourself time, and you will find your place.
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Old 10-02-2003, 02:23 PM   #6
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I agree with others about your looks and your art, but also...maybe the most important thing is for YOU to like yourself. Perhaps you are worrying about what others think too much. I bet your friends and family have a much better opinion of you than you may think.
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Old 10-02-2003, 10:30 PM   #7
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I don't know... sometimes I feel that people want to meet me only when they know my work... and when i was a little girl I used my art as a way to get attention, because that was the only thing that made me special to the others.

without my art I would be nothing, I have no more to offer. I always do my best, in everything. I'm never satisfied with the results, but that's the only way to make friends, because I'm too shy and my work speaks for me.
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Old 10-04-2003, 11:13 PM   #8
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Sweetie! Of course you have so much to offer to the world.

Often it's a problem of feeling like you don't fit in because people find it hard to tell you they love you, appreciate you, and so on. I know it's hard for me even to say that to my parents, and they mean the most to me out of anyone. I know people love and respect you, they might just not feel comfortable saying it.

Something I have realised is that I am happy with the way I am. I was (and am) so shy when I was at school, I felt like I had no confidence, I wasn't popular at all. And I so wished I could be ... I wished that people would want to be around me and that I could be brave enough to stand up for myself instead of hiding like always.

But as I've got older, I've realised ... I like being quiet! I like staying at home and not worrying about other people. And even if I did have confidence, I wouldn't want to use it.

I don't know if that's relevant to you, but for me it's been really important to think of what I do want, rather than what society demands (ie. to be pretty and popular).

You are a beautiful, sweet and sensitive girl and you must bring so much joy into the lives of those who know you. Good on you for sharing your fears here, that's a good sign ... always share what's troubling you, because it will help other people to open up too.

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Old 10-05-2003, 09:43 PM   #9
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Liking yourself first is most important.

Screw everyone else. If you're YOU, then people who deserve your company will surely follow. Hang in there.
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Old 10-06-2003, 11:21 PM   #10
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I just don't know how to star to "like myself", I've never feel that way... it's like a vicious circle.
maybe I have a problem and I'm afraid I'll become a sour woman if I can't fix it now (in fact i've always been a sour girl). I feel that I don't deserve being loved and I think that I will be alone the rest of my life.
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