If you knew...

[Night & Day]

I know there are people here on Interference that have faced illnessess and diseases, some more severe than others, but life pondering none the less.

Over the last few years, I have been dealing with a few health problems,
things I have not really brought any attention to because I try very hard not to let these problems rule my life or world.

But I cannot deny the fact that I have a serious condition, and that I can no longer pretend it doesn't affect my life.

I am only (almost) 42, and I should not be planning or even thinking of my end of days, but it's reality.

One of the thoughts that keep going through my head, besides the obvious...
kids, family, etc, are the things I have not done, and the things that I have not said.

Every time my heart litterally hurts, and squeezes, and my breath is taken away,
I think if this is the last breath I take, would I regret what I didn't say to people ranging from the last 30+ years of my life.

So, I would like your opinions, and feedback my lovely Interferencers.

If you knew/believed you didn't have long to live, would you say anything and everything to everyone you ever wanted to?
Even if it hurt them, or you revealed feelings they never knew you had?
What about if you told them, then you lived a lot longer than you expected?

I need to get this off my chest...no pun intended.



ps.
Just throwing this in for um, fun.
But what ONE song would you want people to remember you by.

 

[Screwtape2]

I know there are people here on Interference that have faced illnessess and diseases, some more severe than others, but life pondering none the less.

Over the last few years, I have been dealing with a few health problems,
things I have not really brought any attention to because I try very hard not to let these problems rule my life or world.

But I cannot deny the fact that I have a serious condition, and that I can no longer pretend it doesn't affect my life.

I am only (almost) 42, and I should not be planning or even thinking of my end of days, but it's reality.

One of the thoughts that keep going through my head, besides the obvious...
kids, family, etc, are the things I have not done, and the things that I have not said.

Every time my heart litterally hurts, and squeezes, and my breath is taken away,
I think if this is the last breath I take, would I regret what I didn't say to people ranging from the last 30 years of my life.

So, I would like your opinions, and feedback my lovely Interferencers.

If you knew/believed you didn't have long to live, would you say anything and everything to everyone you ever wanted to?
Even if it hurt them, or you revealed feelings they never knew you had?
What about if you told them, then you lived a lot longer than you expected?

I need to get this off my chest...no pun intended.

If you ever want to talk about it.

Yeah, I'd say everything to those that I care about. The good and the bad. Honesty is so important and I'd want nothing left unsaid. I'd tell them what a gift knowing them was and as part of that that I lived longer than I expect. That's just me though.

 

[Pearl]

First off, I am so sorry about your health problems. I felt so sad reading your post.

To answer your question, if I know my life would be cut short while I am still young, yes I would say and do things without hesitation. Not that I would be reckless and impulsive, but I wouldn't let fear of rejection, saying the wrong words, making an ass out of myself, etc., get in the way. There were times in my life where I let those fears get in the way, and I let opportunities slip away. I was left wondering, if only and what if.

If I wanted to say something that would hurt someone, maybe then I would hold back. I would know life is too precious to waste it by hurting someone's feelings. People want to feel good about themselves, and spreading the love is what counts in life. When I actually die, I would want to be remembered as someone who tried to spread the love, not make others unhappy. I would be mindful of my own funeral. Would anyone be there? If not, who's fault is that? I'm not saying I want to be popular like a high school kid, but I want to be remembered well.

Another thing I may do - may, not actually - is confront people who hurt. Not the kids who bothered me in elementary school, but people who recently hurt me. Just to have some peace on why they did it. I don't know if I would actually do this, because it may be a waste of time, and time would be too precious to dwell over pain. But, I would know I would want some closure on some things. And I would even say my apologies too.

I hope I answered your question

 

[lauramullen]

I would want to tell my family and friends how much I love and care for them. I would tell them stories and secrets that I have never told anyone. If there was someone who hurt me I would absolutley confront them, but would be afraid of there response once they found out I was sick and dying.

A song to remember me by would probably have to be Kite by U2. I love that song and it is one of my favorites. I want the people in my life to think of me everytime they hear that song after I pass away.

 

[zuropa_fit]

Just a gut reaction here, I don't think I'd say the hurtful stuff. I think it might make YOU feel better but in the long run, is it going to change the other person, make them a better person? Make them change their ways? If not, I'd keep it to myself. But that's just me.

The good stuff, hell yeah. I tell the ones I"m really really close to I love them as often as possible without being ridiculous.

 

[Angela Harlem]

tell what you want, what you need.

 

[last unicorn]

I'd try to make peace with everyone. I have been trying to make peace with my father in recent years, we hadn't talked in years, we've had a difficult relationship.

Now things are better and it actually breaks my heart to think about that he might not be around long enough to develop a real relationship.

Life is too short to fight with others and it's sad that we sometimes make it more complicated and difficult than necessary.

 

[pgv]

I'd write a letter to everyone I care about, or have cared about, or have some big issue with, and I'd apologise for things I've said and done and thank them for how much they've meant to me.
Then I'd just run away. I'd spend all of my money and have the most amazing time seeing everything and everywhere I can. I'd talk to so many people (it's not like embarrassment or anything would hold me back in these circumstances) and I'd desperately seek some sort of enlightenment. I'd let the hippy screaming inside of me out and have a complete and utter blast

The one song I'd want to be remembered by and have played at a funeral would be Instant Karma.

 

[Liesje]

Honestly I don't know that I'd be much different. I am not a very sentimental/romantic/emotional person. I think if something was really wrong with me I might actually be inclined to withdraw even further. I've always been one that doesn't want to inconvenience anyone else. If my words and actions up until this point have not done an appropriate job of showing people how I feel then I'm not sure pouring out my soul could change that. I wouldn't see the point in spilling my guts to everyone, it wouldn't change anything.

 

[redhotswami]

I'm sorry to hear you're ill, Jase

I should be so lucky as to know when it was time for me to go. In the past year I've had those I care about die suddenly, and some horrifically. Since then I've done the "live life to the fullest" cliche thing. I'm open and honest, for the most part. I try my best to make sure that the people I love know that I love them whenever I talk to them. It's not easy to do, but I *try* to live every day as if I won't see the next. If I'm unhappy I try to change the circumstances to make me happy again. If someone I know is unhappy I offer my shoulder, and/or try to cheer them up. Nowadays any sort of conflict in any of my relationships really make me uncomfortable and I freak out if I don't get to resolve them that day.

This also makes me a very spontaneous person. I'm always ready for an adventure. I think if I knew when my time was coming I might actually calm down a bit.

 

[Marien]

I'm really sorry to hear such bad news about you, I don't know you very much, but I remember a post you made a few days ago about COBL, it was the sweetest thing I'd read about in a long, long time, that's what brought me here.
I've been thinking about your question for a while, and well it's quite difficult to answer I think I would like to leave having solved all the real problems with the people who are really important to me, these things I can't stop thinking about when I'm not able to sleep at night, I find all the rest not so important, even if they have got me angry or unhappy at the moment. I think I'd like to try to live as positively as I could trying to make people feel how much I love them, trying to do as many things as I could and trying not to forget that no one has a life security, nobody knows how long their life is. But this is easier said than done, may be I would spend most of the time trying not to panic and keep in control, that's why I admire you so much at this moment.

About the music, I think "Kite", if you like it, is one of the best options, I like the lyrics so much, especially when it says: "I know this is not goodbye", "One step closer to knowing", maybe "All I want is you" with some introduction written by me to be read.

Well, I don't know what else to say right now, only that I'll be so happy if you contact me whenever you want.