I really let someone down

[BAW]

I feel horrible. I'm really bad at comforting people who are in pain and last night, I really, really hurt someone's feelings.

My sister-in-law called to tell my husband and I that she and her partner have decided to end their 8 year relationship. I never saw this coming and I was so stunned, I just sat there on the phone and couldn't say a word. They've always been so happy, or so I thought so I can't believe its come to this.

My husband made some stupid comment that made her cry and we all 3 just hung up without saying another word. Now she feels like we aren't taking this as seriously as we should because it was a gay relationship. This is so not true, at least on my part, and I know how much pain she is in. Its no different than a divorce and I completely understand that.

I just don't know what to say to her now after blowing it so badly last night.

 

[adamswildhoney]

wow i wouldnt know what to say either!!!!

 

[daisybean]

call her up and tell her that you do care....even thou your husband made an insensitive remark.

Then yell at your hubby for being such a jerk.

Or is it one of those things where your husband and his sister have a rocky relationship and you don't want to cause any more trouble?

irregardless you should call her up and talk to her....

 

[cell]

i probably wouldnt know what to say either. you should call her again, and just let her know that you do care. hope things work out between you and your friends

 

[BAW]

Or is it one of those things where your husband and his sister have a rocky relationship and you don't want to cause any more trouble?

They are actually very close but he's never really liked her partner so I think he's secretly glad its over. He doesn't understand that this is no different than a divorce and hurts in exactly the same way.


I'm gonna call her tonight and hope she understands that I really do care and want to be there for her.

 

[MrsSpringsteen]

Now she feels like we aren't taking this as seriously as we should because it was a gay relationship. This is so not true, at least on my part, and I know how much pain she is in

I'm sure she must know that you don't feel that way. Just the fact that you feel so badly about this shows how much you care, and how sensitive you are to her pain. You can talk to her about all of this, just express what you did here and I think she will appreciate that.



I don't know what your husband said, and it's none of my business of course, but maybe he should apologize himself for that.

 

[meegannie]

Re: Re: I really let someone down

I'm sure she must know that you don't feel that way. Just the fact that you feel so badly about this shows how much you care, and how sensitive you are to her pain. You can talk to her about all of this, just express what you did here and I think she will appreciate that.

I think just apologize and say you didn't know what to say and you're sorry that it came off as not caring. I'm sure she'll understand. It takes most people some time before they can react to shocking news.

Hope you and your sister-in-law both feel better soon.

 

[Giant Lemon]

I agree with what everyone else is saying. There's nothing you can do but call her and say you're sorry for coming off as not caring and then reassure her that you're there for her.

 

[martha]

Char, tell her the truth: that you were so shocked and surprised that you were left speechless. Let hubby do his own apologizing, after a stern talking-to from his pissed, but loving wife.

 

[BAW]

its all good now

My husband honestly didn't know how badly his comment came across and now realizes how much pain his sister is going through. He called her and they talked it out. I talked to her too and we both cried and got everything said that needed to be said and by the end of the conversation, we were both laughing.

I've been through this with her once before and we'll get through it again

 

[martha]

 

[diamond]

Rick-
Now, exactly what did u say?
Your suppose to make the girls laugh not cry.

diamond

 

[meegannie]

Glad everything will be okay.

 

[MrsSpringsteen]

You're a good person, try not to be be so tough on yourself.

 

[MrsSpringsteen]

oops, double post, so I'll just give you a