I no longer care.

[blueeyes]

I am worn. out.
I used to really care about what I did in school, and I want to get into medical school, I HAVE to care. I am so burnt out right now that I have just started to stop.
School no longer scares me.
And that is bad, because my motivation used to be fear, but now I have lost that fear.
I could really care less what freaking number shows up beside my name on their crisp little white grade sheets anymore.
If I pick up the phone right now, I'm going to drop out.
-Bluey

 

[blueeyes]

I'm not just doing this to bitch,
I was wondering if anyone out there has felt, or feels the same and if so how do you motivate yourself?
Thanks in advance.

 

[She Is Raging]

Hey Bluey!!

I can so sympathize with what you are going through right now... I went through it myself many times in nursing school ( I graduated 2 years ago)... but it does get better, you just have to hang in there and keep telling yourself it will be over soon!! I know it feels like it never will, with all the tests, presentations, studying, missed sleep, missed fun etc...
I just motivated myself by focusing on the future and what I knew I'd be able to do (and the money I would be making) after college. I knew I'd be able to move out of my parents house, get a car etc... plus there's the satisfaction of knowing that you accomplished something. It's hard to explain really...
I dont know if this has helped you at all but I hope it does - feel free to email me if you want - ShelsRaging@aol.com
(it's an "L" in ths "is" - a total pain in the ass!)

------------------
How do you keep a moron busy for an hour? Two words... Extreme Paddleball

"wow...look at those two birds... they look just like airplanes, the way they're flying..."

" because they are airplanes..."

 

[Bonochick]

I was at the point where I was really starting to not care about school and stuff anymore...it seemed pointless and like it was going to last forever. But now that I am engaged, I am more motivated than ever to finish school so my sweetie and I can move to the same town and get on with our lives.

------------------
"I don't know you,
But you don't know the half of it..."

 

[Ana]

Bluey, I so understand because as you, I felt like caring less about school and I quited and I'm not coming back.

Hang in there, you won't regret it

(((Bluey)))

 

[J-Tree]

Hey Blue,

Aren't we starting quite the rampage on this forum?! Ha ha ha! But this will be my first intellectual response.

I know exactly how you feel... and being a previous science major, I know what you're going through... *hugs* But now that I'm a Poli major, nothings changed all that much. I don't have to memorize all those bloody formulas anymore! Or why certain elements don't bond in a particular format, etc. But I do have to know significant events in Canadian history and world history... and the power of rhetoric (which I still have yet to master!)

But even in this program I'm disillusioned. I wanted to be an engineer before because of the money, then I realized that money wasn't everything. So I got a social conscience and I wanted to save the world... through politics. What motivated me then? The idea that I could help someone. But this dream bursted a year back when I started working on political campaigns and stuff.

I dunno, maybe you should think about that too Blue. You're going to be a doctor. Why? Because you want to help people and make them feel better? Why? Maybe because you want to serve your community? I don't know. *sips her 50th cuppa tea* I guess the point of this is that if you can find a cause you want to serve, that should be what drives you... something non-material though... cuz we all know how long that lasts!

As for me, I still want to save the world. But I don't know how anymore. The lines have blurred... and until I figure out how to play the game again, I'm pretty much stuck in this moment. I'd like to say that I refuse to remain apathetic but that's not true anymore either... BTW, I'm on page 3 of my paper... oh boy do I have a long way to go!

JT

------------------
Hey Nico, stay strong in this world.
My girl, ignore their cold words.
The song of your heart's so true, the sai is a way for you.
Hey Nico, stay strong in this world, my girl.

SlipStream Soul

 

[missmacphisto]

Yeah Bluey, i know how it is, I dont think i can care about anything anymore...

------------------
Look...look what you've done to me...You've made me poor and infamous, and I thank you...

My name is MISS MACPHISTO...I'm tired and i want to go HOME...

"Well you tell...Bonovista,that i said hello and that my codename is Belleview" - Bono before opening night of Anaheim Elevation concert

 

[LarryMullen's POPAngel]

((((((Hugs)))))) to all of you guys.

I know how a few of you feel, not with school so much as with things in general. I hope you all find what you are looking for, in one way or another.

------------------
Angel in devil's shoes
Salvation in the blues

 

[Crzy4Bono]

bluey -

Hang in there. I got into a huge slump in undergrad - at the end of my sophomore year - I though ARG I am so burned out I cannot do this another day. I just took off the summer and worked a mindless job and goofed off. Then it seemed I was on the "downhill slope" and it got better.

Then again in grad school - halfway through - I thought UGH can't do this and just slogged on through. Then before you know it it's all over!!

You can do it... you can do it.... you can do it... (go have a beer) you can do it...

------------------
She's gonna dream up a world she wants to live in / She's gonna dream out loud.
Visit my web page at www.u2page.com

 

[The Riddler]

Don't quit
Things are hard now, it will pass....
I can relate to the sentiment of fear etc but just think youobviously had the desire to be a doctor and its still there it juts got kinda buried for a while....think long and hard beofre you ruin your dream in a rash phonecall while under stress.
Take some special time out and do all the things you like, drink lots and fall down stairs and smile and listen to U2....it will get better.

------------------
***Here There and Everywhere***

 

[Trash Can]

Here here, Riddler! I agree.... EXCEPT the part about drinking. I, myself never found "the answer" at the bottom of a bottle... and God knows, I emptied a hell of a lot of bottles in my time. ( Freakin sorrows learned to swim! Those bastards!!)
"Walk on", right? That stoney path can be a bitch at times.

But "never" is a long time and things don't seem to last... They just don't. You can ALWAYS depend on one thing: Whether you are wayyyyyyy happy, or wayyyyyyyyyyy sad, most times, it will NOT last. Its a rollercoaster ride.

Blue, I know its easy for me to say, but do hang in there and see if things just don't get a lil better.

Fear as a motivator does only go so far. In fact, in my experience, fear has been quite the opposite of a motivator.

As for your true motivator... what "drives" you... I cant say. I guess YOU have to make that call. Its in the goal, I guess. Its in what you most want your life to mean. The difference you want to make. The contribution you want to make.... And if its all worth it.
I believe its a very healthy thing for you to open up here on this forum. I would encourage you to talk it out with people you love and trust. Dont keep it inside.

Pray about it. Meditate on it. ( Do you have a "higher power"?)

Take BREAKS! Step back and rest. Refresh and re-energize.

Just dont end up being 40 and saying "what if".

God bless... and please let us know, ok??


------------------
My love for you
It's in the things I do and say
If I wanna live I gotta
Die to myself someday.
Surrender.