i need some advice... please..

[Muggsy]

i think i have a drinking problem....

is not that I'm always drunk and take alcohol alone and that stuff... but everytime i go to a party or a reunion where i know there's gonna be alcohol, i get out of control and sometimes i am the only person who is drunk in the place... i've made some embarrasing things and i don't know, to be honest i feel that i like to be drunk ....

i'm really scared... i know this is dangerous for me... not only cuz i hurt myself but i give the chance to others to hurt me... i feel ashamed with the people who receives me drunk in their homes cuz i start to make noise, to puke and break things... i feel dirty and inferior...

i don't know what to do ...

 

[najeena]

Muggsy, good for you- realizing there is a problem is the first step in solving it. Here's my advice; don't go to bars or parties where booze is all around. If the people around you are encouraging you to drink- hang with different people. It's harsh, I know. It took me many years to get it through my head that it had to be done, there's no other way. You say you like it. I loved the way it made me feel, too. But it took nearly dying to make me realize that I couldn't control my drinking, and that if I was to survive, I had to stop. Talk to your doctor (he or she will help you). Look into AA. Do whatever you have to, but put your life, your future, before your thirst. Help is all around, find it and use it. Good luck, my friend. You can email me at najeena@vashonisland.net. I'd be happy to help you, if I can.

 

[beli]

I think you need to work out why you are drinking. Is it only on social occasions? Are you shy and drink to bring yourself out a bit? Or do you drink at home when you are lonely? Or are you upset about something?

Im not saying you are any of these things. I just mean you need to work out the cause of it before you can conquer it. Well thats my opinion anyway.

 

[forbonou2]

Where's my wave beli? he-lol! Just teasin'!

 

[beli]

Sorry. Thats my dumb temporary signature and they were the people online at the time. I really need a new signature.

 

[Muggsy]

i don't know... sometimes i think that i drink cuz i'm too shy. for example... the last time i got drunk i was with some friends (girls) from the school. they are very outspoken and they live in another world, sometimes they make fun of the way i talk or they make weird comments about the place i live or the friends i have and i got very nervous (as always )... so i started to drink, maybe cuz i'm looking for an excuse to be funny and shout the truth on their faces, i don't really know...

when i was drunk i was like the clown of the party... they looked at me with pity but they were laughing too. that day i felt that they don't listen to me... and they don't care much about me ... i remember that i was shocking with my own puke in my friend's bed and nobody tried to stand me up (is that the right expression?)... instead they were laughing and saying "gross"... i don't know where i got the strenght to stand up and walk to the bathroom... i felt so awful, so alone...

for the other hand... i have to say that i've been under a lot of pressure these days... everybody expects the best from me and I just can't please them... i'm not happy with the person i am.

 

[beli]

Muggsy, you are on the right track. Analysising why you do it is the key. Do you have a hobby, some thing that you could join a club about? I think the most difficult thing in life is finding where like minded people hang out, people who accept you just as you are. There out there, just keep looking.

Please dont be so hard on yourself.

 

[wolfeden]

knowing you have a problem is the hardest part..
friends that laugh at you are not friends...

ask a doctor for help. it's a medical problem, not that you are inferior in any way at all, and don't let anyone tell you so.

 

[najeena]

Wolfden is absolutely right, it's not a matter of will power or bad judgement, it's a medical problem. See a doctor, a councelor, somone who has the tools that will help you get a hold on the problem. There will always be people who think it's funny and cute to get drunk. I see it here on this board, sometimes. But that's the way the world works. Best of luck to you, Muggsy. There's nothing like living a life where you never have a hangover, and you never make a fool of yourself because of drink. It's a blessing every single day.

 

[MrsSpringsteen]

I think everyone here has given great advice, and I think you are on the right track by realizing you have a problem Muggsy. You will find true friends now when you deal w/ this problem, and you will be your own best friend- which is the most difficult thing in the world sometimes, but so satisfying. I think the best place to start is to talk to a counselor.

I truly admire people who can conquer this problem. Like you najeena-that's wonderful

 

[Doozer61]

muggsy for taking the first step and admitting you might have a problem...

 

[KristenF]

Muggsy-I used to be addicted to prescription pills and because they were legal drugs I felt like I could'nt really be an addict, alcohol can seem the same way. I started seeing a great therapist and realized that it was low self esteem ,social anxiety , & depression that caused my problems. It did me a world of good and I gradually got better. And don't feel like it has to be some expensive psychiatrist either. I was young and broke and was able to find a counselor who worked on a sliding scale based on what a person could afford to pay. Good luck to you & like everyone has said, admitting you have a problem is the first step toward recovery.

 

[Muggsy]

thanks you all ...

i can't say that i have a lot of will strenght... i really think that i need some help... i have some friends that have seen to counselors and they feel better now. i think that the hardest part is recognize all the things that i'd have to avoid and my own problems ...

 

[Danospano]

If you don't feel compelled with drink when you're alone or when you wake-up in the morning, you're not an alcoholic. You just like to party and like to drink as a result.

Is that because you feel more confident with alcohol, or is it just a side-effect of socializing?

I'd recommend drinking cola or tea or alternate every alcohol drink with a non-alcoholic beverage. That will give you a buzz, while limiting the outrageousness.

I was in a similar predicament a few weeks ago and I decided to drink nothing but diet coke when I went out to the bars. It takes a little willpower, but after the first few drinks, you'll realize how easy it is. If it's harder than that, stay home. Start exercising and become fixed to the routine. You'll notice that you feel better on the whole without alcohol, and that exercising is easier and more enjoyable without the alcohol.

Good luck, my brotha. Keep it real.

 

[Muggsy]

.... thanks again....