I need some advice...

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"Night and day
You are the one
Only you beneath the moon
And under the sun
Whether near to me or far
It's no matter, baby, where you are
I think of you
Night and day" :heart:
 
:( My school doesn't let us dress up for Haloween!!! NO FAIR :madspit: Oh well, not sure enough people at my school have the spirit to dress up...

Do you ever think you know what you're doing, and then come to find out you're doing it wrong??? I hate that! Today, I got my precal quiz back, and I got a 14/20! That is one of the lowest quiz grades I have ever gotten. Of course, I only missed 4, but they were worth 2 points each. I had gotten 20/20 on the one before, so I was pretty confident... I just can't believe it. I know what I did wrong. I must have been extra blonde that day. I hate these little quizzes, because it's trig without a calculator, AND it's timed. I feel so much pressure on timed tests...

:up: for your sig, for honor!
 
In my school, you have to wear your uniform if you don't dress up...so I decided to dress up...it was a nice change from the uniform. :yes:

That happened to me during a physics quiz.....I felt so confident I was doing things right...and then it turns out I got a bunch of formulas mixed up.:mad:

I despise timed tests....but 14/20 is not SO bad...i'm sure you can recover from it..:)
 
At first, in my sig, I didn't like how the words got blurry.. but then I figured I'd go with it, since it's kind of like real light, light from the moon, and I guess it's more natural :shrug: I'm glad other people like it, though.

If anyone can "identify" with it, it's me! hahaha

==============


My school never had uniforms, but I sorta would have liked it to. :shrug: I like wearing decent looking clothes, though. (A lot of times I got mistaken for substitute teachers or something) :shrug: :shrug:

Oh well. I mean, It's not like I ever did anything too too bad, but I suppose it did help going through the halls sometimes. People didn't ask many questions. The hallways got a lot more strict, when walking during class time, in my senior year, because a lot of incidents kept happening then.
 
I like my school uniform...we have a lot of options and the teachers usually aren't THAT strict unless you totally change it...and it's good not having to think about what you're going to wear every day...

But on special days like halloween...it's just not right to wear your uniform...

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I like it when guys wear decent-looking clothes....

some of the guys in my school manage to look so sloppy even when they're wearing the uniform...and some (most) of the girls manage to look soo trashy....:|
 
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Today was a veyr strange day.... I had all these emotions and thoughts going through my mind...but I did manage to get some work done.

I don't get it....sometimes I can be so out of it...whatever 'it' is.

And then something happened...after school...I think my friends finally saw that other side of me...the one they barely get to see...and I might have hurt one of them...but I realise this now...I feel bad.....:|

Can you control what you feel for someone else? Or is it just something that happens and that you have to deal with....because I don't know what to do....

This is so messed up....:|


I just thought about something....emotions don't go through your mind....or do they?
 
Difficult questions to answer. You can control how you feel about someone else.

...at least half the time.


You can choose to prolong a hatred or a love, I believe. But sometimes I think that ....once you open the door, or once the door of affection is opened, it can be difficult to close, depending on what kind of personality you've got. EMotions don't go through your head, which is why they can be difficult...

However, you can useyour head to battle your emotions by occupying yourself with things, and not letting your mind magnify those emotions. Sometimes I think of the mind as a magnifying glass, and whatever you focus on will become more significant.

Or a garden... planting seeds, reap what you sow, etc, etc...



I, for one, can control my feelings pretty well. But when it comes to caring for someone else, that's where things get complicated.

========

Eh, I don't know if that helped much.

I wouldn't worry about showing other sides of yourself to your friends *too* much... you have to grow into your authentic self someday, so don't deny it. I don't know what to say, I guess it depends on what you did, etc etc. But that's your business. I'm sure things willwork out. Just remember that everyone is still young...

==

Eh, that's not really saying much.... I'm distracted, sorry....
 
Ever read the Hawthorne story "The Minister's Black Veil" ??? We just read it in English class, I think maybe that would be something that might affect you in a situation like this. It's a pretty short little story... check it out if you're interested. Because, it is a great story, and it has a great moral... maybe it would provide some consolation/inspiration/whatever.

I swear that teachers have little meetings and make out their schedules together. :wink: Tomorrow, I have a history test (essay), a physics quiz (i'm actually not really loving this chapter), a spanish test, and a precal quiz. Amazingly ridiculous. And I have the same teacher for physics and precal... he likes to give quizzes on the same days. Why would he do that??? Life just isn't fair sometimes...

And it's officially almost midnight... I need to stop posting and study! :ohmy: :der:
 
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That's a lot of quizzes...I'm sure you did well...:)

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I think that the problem is that I've opened the door of affection....i'm ususally very careful with these things, making sure I don't let the affection go to far...but this time it has...and it's bad...:|

I should try to get some work done today....I was too distracted at school to do anything....

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I've never read that story...do you know where I can find it? I would love to read it....
 
You can probably find the story on the internet if you just Google it or something. It should be pretty easy to find.

I would offer advice with your situation Dani, but I'm not really sure I completely understand it (it's okay if you want to be vague, I understand) and I'm usually not great at giving advice...
 
Oh sweet Jesus. Hello, my name is Lance, but some of my close friends call me "Lazy fucking procrastinating hopeless bastard."

No, seriously, I have a very similar problem, but it's not uncommon at all. My AP Language class has me conference with my instructor about once a month. Throughout that month, about 7 or 8 writing assignments are given to me, along with two outside readings and book reacts for each novel. At the end of the month, everything needs to be finishes, revised, and organized into a portfolio for him to go over and plan his advice a grade for me. I'm having my second conference of the year tomorrow morning, and it's already the second time I ended up doing ALL the month's work in the past 3 days to catch up. It's terrible. I'll be lucky if I can manage a B- from this portfolio. I'm really trying to be more organized this next time around, while we will be assigned our Senior thesis which will take up most of the work for the next two quarters. We'll see how I do.

Unfortunatly, I didn't offer you any advice in that whole mess of a paragraph (I am usually a much more coherent writer by the way ;)). That's probalby due to the fact that I haven't been able to solve my own problems in that area.
 
Wow...good luck with all that work, Lancemc...it sounds like a lot for just three days....I hope you do well.

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About that other situation...I'm being vague because two of my friends occasionally visit these forums...I don't know if they every come to Zoo Confesionals...and at this point it would be really bad if one of them found out about this....

I'll try to find a way of being more specific....i just don't know how...


Have you ever been attracted to someone you feel is "out of bounds" but you can't help how you feel about them? That's kind of the situation I'm in....



And I also found yet another distraction in school....and now it's in the form of a teacher...:eek:
 
Ahh, it's not a problem, I've been procrastinating so long I've become an expert at it. ;)


Distractions like that usually don't last, at least in my experience. I would try not to worry about it too much. The more you obsess about a possible problem the bigger it becomes a problem, and that only takes more time away from your work.

I don't know. Try to make some sense of that. Maybe it's relevatn, :shrug:
 
I feel good...I just finished one really long response journal for the handmaid's tale.

Now I only have 3 response journals to go..and an essay...If I finish it all by next thursday...I'll be on track in English.:)
 
English... wow. I have a lot to do, and I continuously put it off. I have at least 4 journals, maybe 5, that I still have to do. Now, that would probably be okay, but I've had these journals for weeks now. Everyday I bring home my journal thinking, "I'll finish a couple today!" But of course that never happens. Eventually (probably next week) they'll be due and I'll be up all night writing. At least the journals aren't that difficult... I think I have 2 or 3 freewrites, a high frequency (where you have to use at least 10 vocab words), and a journal on guilt. Should be quite interesting.

It's alright to be vague, especially when you don't want certain people to see what you write. :hug: 'It's just a moment, this time will pass'
 
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Lemonchick, I'm wondering: if you're always behind, would it be better to switch schools at the end of the year? I mean, at a non-self-directed learning school, they'd make deadline for you and force you to work on stuff.
 
Lemonchick said:
And I also found yet another distraction in school....and now it's in the form of a teacher...:eek:
Click to expand...


......... I wonder if this has to do with the time of year...........
 
For Honor said:



......... I wonder if this has to do with the time of year...........
Click to expand...

What do you mean by that? :confused:



Anyways...I had a good day, a great day actually. I presented my philosophy collage..there were only 7 people in the room, so it was ok. It wasn't as hard as I thought it would be...but that's not new...I tend to blow things out of proportion and lose perspective. Oh, well...I think my teacher liked it...

I'm thinking about -redoing it and adding more things...last night I started thinking about all the things I still have to add...when I'm done I'll take a picture and post it here so you guys can see.

Today was also a beautiful autumn day...it was just perfect. I was listening to Time Enough For Tears today after school when we were waiting for the bus....

Let's read the trees and their Autumn leaves,
As they fall like a dress undone
At the end of Summers, love will find lovers
Who need the shadows of a winter sun

Don't tell me you're leaving we can hide in the evening
It's getting darker than it should
If we read the leaves as they blow in the breeze
Would it stop us now, my love

Time enough for hard questions
Time enough for all our fears
Time is tougher than we both know yet,
Time enough for tears

The moon is milk and the sky where it's split
Is magic, and we all need to believe, that we can
Wake up in the dream, it's not as hard as it seems
You know its harder to leave

Time enough for being braver
Time enough for all the fears
Time is tougher than we both know yet
Time enough for tears

I heard you say underneath your breaths some
kind of prayers I heard
You say underneath your breath that you never
wanted, to feel this way about anybody else

Time enough for hard questions
Time enough for all our fears
Time is tougher than we both know yet
Time enough for tears

Time enough for being braver
Time enough I love this time of year,
Time is tough, its running away from us,
Time enough for tears
Click to expand...


Later after I got home I found my camera and took some pictures of trees, and leaves, and the sky...I just love this time of year.
 
Oh man. Well, I had my english conference today. :no:

"C" grade. Yeah, it's not horrible, but it's also a big step down from last time. I'm promicing myself never to procrastinate so badly again! (like that will ever happen)

But yeah, my essays lacks focus, most didn't clearly define their purpose so the body paragraphs suffered, quotes went unexplained, I was missing my vocab for my novels, and there was little or no evidence of revision in my pieces.

It really sounds bad, so a C sounds pretty forgiving, but you must understand that you get a C just for completing the total number of assignments.

Oh well, that's another lesson learned. :shrug:
 
Well Lancemc, hopefully you've learned a lesson and won't let this happen again! Did you go into your conference feeling like you were pretty much prepared, or did you know that you didn't have everything done?

Fall into winter isn't my favorite thing. It's getting cold here. The grass is dead and brown. There aren't any flowers or signs of new life. The sky looks gray and cold. And I could go on for forever. Personally, I prefer spring and summer!
 
I love fall into winter....I don't know why...:shrug:

Wow Lancemc...that's a lesson for all of us. I think i'm slowly improving with this whole procrastination thing...it's a slow process, though...:|
 
What I meant by my last comment is that someone else I know is talking about a crush on a teacher.


========


I love all the season, I'm earthlyin that regard. I like the cold months because it shows someone's mettle, at least a little more. Most people are depressed in spring, the post-holiday let down. So if you survive the winter months through spring and into summer, then that can tell you some things.


There is no such thing as procrastination. It's just an excuse we make.
 
Yes...having a crush on a teacher can be very distracting. :cute: :love: :combust: :eek: :wink:

Today I went to a presentation of The Dream Team...they are a team of people who lived with mental illness and who are asking for more affordable housing for people with mental illness.

All of them were success stories-but what really scared me is that something like a mental illness could happen to anyone. These people were high school graduates, they had university degrees, they had jobs, dreams, some of them had families....and then it all changed and they ended up in the street. It scares me how easily things can change for people...and it made me realise that I really shouldn't take my "mental health" for granted...because I never know when things could take a turn for the worse...it was a very eye-opening presentation.:(

It's scares me how there's so many things we can't prevent...or control...things that could happen to anyone...:sad:
 
According to Merriam-Webster's Dictionary:


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PROCRASTINATE

function: verb

etymology: Latin procrastinatus, past participle of procrastinare, from pro- forward + crastinus of tomorrow, from cras tomorrow

definition: to put off intentionally and habitually; to put off intentionally the doing of something that should be done
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:hmm:
 
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PROCRASTINATION



In this chapter, we first looked at how-to-change, i.e. learning new behaviors or increasing our motivation to act differently. Then, we considered why behavior is so hard to understand. Now, we will attempt to apply some of this information to understanding a common problem--procrastination, i.e. putting off doing something important. Solomon and Rothblum (1984) found that 65% of college students want to learn to stop putting off writing term papers, 62% feel the need to study for exams more promptly, and 55% hope to read their assignments earlier. Most of us procrastinate some. What are other signs of procrastination besides waiting until the last minute to do something? Try these on for size: being reluctant to take risks or try something new, staying at home or in the same old job, getting sick when faced with an unpleasant job, avoiding confrontations or decisions, blaming others or the situation ("it's boring") for your unhappiness or to avoid doing something, making big plans but never carrying them out, and/or having such a busy social-recreational calendar that it is hard to get important work done.
This list of symptoms suggests that procrastination, which at first sounds like a simple behavior, is, in fact, quite complex. It involves emotions, skills, thoughts or attitudes, and factors we are unaware of. Furthermore, the causes and dynamics of putting off an important but unpleasant task vary from person to person and from task to task for the same person. For instance, you may delay doing your math assignment but fill out an application for school immediately. Hopefully, understanding how and why we procrastinate will help us change it. We may even learn more about what is commonly called "will power."

Procrastination is a strange phenomenon. Its purpose seems to be to make our life more pleasant but instead it almost always adds stress, disorganization, and frequently failure. Ellis and Knaus (1977) and Burka and Yuen (1983) describe the process: (1) You want to achieve some outcome, usually something you and others value and respect--"I've got to start." (2) You delay, briefly thinking of real and imagined advantages of starting to change later--"I'll do it tomorrow when I don't have much to do." (3) You delay more, becoming self-critical--"I should have started sooner"--and/or self-excusing--"I really couldn't have left the party early last night, my best friends were there." You may hide or pretend to be busy; you may even lie about having other obligations. (4) You delay still more, until finally the task has to be done, usually hastily--"Just get it done any old way"--or you just don't have time--"I can't do this!" (5) You berate yourself--"There is something wrong with me"--and swear never to procrastinate again and/or you discount the importance of the task--"It doesn't matter." (6) You repeat the process almost immediately on other important tasks, as if it were an addiction or compulsion.

The wisest course of action, most of the time, would be to simply do the unpleasant task as soon as practical, while we have enough time to do the job right and get it over with, not prolonging our agony. But we put it off. Why? There are many possible reasons: (1) we feel good about setting goals and declaring that we are going to change or succeed "sometime," (2) by procrastinating we shorten the time we actually have to work on the task, and (3) much of the time we avoid the unpleasant task altogether. Research has shown that 70% of New Year's resolutions are abandoned by February 1.



Discipline is... 1. Do what has to be done; 2. When it has to be done; 3. As well as it can be done; and 4. Do it that way every time.
-Bobby Knight

In recent years, most psychologists have come to believe that the act of procrastinating can best be understood by identifying the emotions associated with or underlying the behavior. Actually, procrastination is an attempt to cope with our emotional reactions. What are these emotions? Fear of failure or success is the most likely emotion (this includes panic when we set impossible goals). Anger is another possible emotion (this includes rebellion against control). Dislike of the work that needs to be done is another. Obviously, depression can slow us down (and failing due to procrastination can depress us). Seeking pleasure is another disruptive motive. So the task for the procrastinator becomes (1) correctly identifying your form(s) of procrastination and (2) finding a solution for your specific emotional reaction. Not an easy job.

Types of procrastinators

It may help to think in terms of two fundamental kinds of procrastinators: one tense and the other relaxed. The tense type often feels both an intense pressure to succeed and a fear of failure; the relaxed type often feels negatively toward his/her work and blows it off--forgets it--by playing (Solomon and Rothblum, 1984). John, described early in this chapter, is the relaxed type; he neglected his school work but not his socializing. This denial-based type of procrastinator avoids as much stress as possible by dismissing his/her work or disregarding more challenging tasks and concentrating on "having fun" or some other distracting activity; if their defense mechanisms work effectively, they actually have what seems like "a happy life" for the moment. More about this type later.

The tense-afraid type of procrastinator is described by Fiore (1989) as feeling overwhelmed by pressures, unrealistic about time, uncertain about goals, dissatisfied with accomplishments, indecisive, blaming of others or circumstances for his/her failures, lacking in confidence and, sometimes, perfectionistic. Thus, the underlying fears are of failing, lacking ability, being imperfect, and falling short of overly demanding goals. This type thinks his/her worth is determined by what he/she does, which reflects his/her level of ability. He/she is afraid of being judged and found wanting. Thus, this kind of procrastinator will get over-stressed and over-worked until he/she escapes the pressure temporarily by trying to relax but any enjoyment gives rise to guilt and more apprehension.



Procrastination is the fear of success... Because success is heavy, it carries a responsibility with it, it is much easier to procrastinate and live on the "someday I'll" philosophy.
-Denis Waitley


How to stop procrastinating

If we begin with the notion that procrastination is not the basic "problem" but rather an attempted "cure" for fears, self-doubts, and dislike of work, then it is obvious that most procrastinators will have to focus on the real problems--underlying fears, attitudes and irrational ideas--in order to overcome the procrastinating behavior. After accepting this idea, the next step is to figure out what the "real" underlying problem is for you. Start by asking, "Am I a relaxed or a tense procrastinator?" Tense procrastinators suffer from strong, sometimes mean, internal critics (see chapter 14); relaxed procrastinators have bamboozled their self-critic by denying reality. From this point, each procrastinator must deal with his/her own unique emotions, skills, thoughts, and unconscious motives
 
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