i just ended really heavy relationships, need your help

[girlhappy]

i just endend really heavy relationships, need your help

To cut a long story short....i had really tough relationship (platonic, btw.) with my so-called friend. The thing is...we got to the point of no return because we both have deep feelings for each other but he is not able to express it openly. That is why i had to be the one who said no more because it all became too heavy. We have this closeness and at the same time distance. Really not healthy, i can tell you. The thing is:i have put so much love, energy, patience into this relationship....that i feel like in a desert now. I just wnated to know....does anyone have similar experience? I just dont know how to rejoice again. I feel like i got the spirit, but lose the feeling(Like in Joy Division song).....i dont know how to say it. Just like in the desert. And i was feeling the same while receiveng his almost lover-like messages but didnt have a chance to see him and talk to him openly. He just run off, and always come back. I just have to be strong enough to say NO. There is something tragic in all this. He is emotionally f...up, and i dont know....i obviously cant do nothing about it. I just have to let it go, but it is not easy. Anyone?

 

[girlhappy]

Sorry, title would be:i just ended heavy relationship

 

[Sherry Darling]

 

[unforgettableFOXfire]

Out of curiosity... did you ever try talking to him about it, before you hit him with this out-of-the-blue separation thing? Maybe he feels the same way you do and just didn't want to be the first one to say it? If you haven't talked to him about it, you didn't open up how you felt to him and ask him if he felt the same way, I don't know if it's entirely fair to expect him to have known what you've been thinking and to act on it as well -- it's just as much of a risk for him to talk to you about it, for fear of rejection, as it is for you to risk talking to him about it for fear of rejection. I don't know, maybe I've misread or misinterpreted something, but I think you might be selling him short, and expecting the worst without actually determining how he really feels; and, if that's the case, maybe you're missing out on an opportunity for great things.

 

[girlhappy]

I told him i want to have clear relationship and that i prefer that kind of relations with people. He answered:"o.k, you are right, but circumstances are reponsible" for us.The thing is..I asked him: when will i see you and i was willing to talk more openly. He never answered. And that was the thing that filled my glass. He sent me so intimate messages and he puts me high in his life, but when it comes to responsibility....he doesnt want any. I dont know how to explain much better. I know that he has feelings for me but i begin to think that he is so confused about it that he even cant see me in person. So, i dont know.I was really patient and thoughtful (because of the divorce of his parents) but things in my life arent so cheerful too and i am trying to be less self - centered as he is. I was always there for him, and he is not able do the same for me.

 

[unforgettableFOXfire]

Ah, okay, I gotcha... You're right to try and move on and not deal with that, that's a pretty ridiculous way to act on his part... I'm sorry to hear that

 

[VintagePunk]

From reading your earlier posts about this person (I'm assuming it's the same one?), you've done the right thing. Hang in there, it'll get easier with time.

 

[girlhappy]

From reading your earlier posts about this person (I'm assuming it's the same one?), you've done the right thing. Hang in there, it'll get easier with time.

Yea, the same jerk

 

[BonosBaby12]

Good luck time will make things better

 

[Carek1230]

I don't know that time really makes things better necessarily, but it does allow us to grow and grieve if we must and deal with things like this that happen to us. And in that time it also allows us to realize not to allow something similar to happen to us again. In that way it makes things better, easier to move on.

 

[Got Philk?]

Not fun.

I think I remember earlier posts as well. I think you made a strong move but a smart one as well. As of right now though, it is not a fun time. Hang in there.

 

[The Disciple]

I have the same problem right now, a very complicated situation with a complicated woman.

She won't "go there", because of several reasons, so it may never get 2 where it could, which will b a shame....

I wear my emotions on my sleeve, tell U what I think, she doesn't...... "Ours is a stormy kind of love...Ohhhh, Oh-Oh.... The Sweetest Thing!"

 

[girlhappy]

I have the same problem right now, a very complicated situation with a complicated woman.

She won't "go there", because of several reasons, so it may never get 2 where it could, which will b a shame....

I wear my emotions on my sleeve, tell U what I think, she doesn't...... "Ours is a stormy kind of love...Ohhhh, Oh-Oh.... The Sweetest Thing!"

I am sorry to hear that,Disciple. I f it is not too private, iwould like to know your story. I am feeling a bit better, but i know there still will be some tough days

 

[BonosBaby12]

I don't know that time really makes things better necessarily, but it does allow us to grow and grieve if we must and deal with things like this that happen to us. And in that time it also allows us to realize not to allow something similar to happen to us again. In that way it makes things better, easier to move on.

That's what I meant by in that time will make things better. Eventually the pain will subside and some stuff will become clearer.

 

[girlhappy]

That's what I meant by in that time will make things better. Eventually the pain will subside and some stuff will become clearer.

Thanx, Bonos Baby. It is true i feel relief now. He didnt contact me for a 10 days now. We will see how the things will be.
Sometimes i feel something like ...betrayal and sometimes i feel free! I am so occupied with my work that i dont have enough time to think about the situation. But, sometimes when i am thinking...i feel how much i gave my self away for nothing. It is somewhat not fair. I am trying not to feel that way and mostly i feel:just stay away from me, and i am relieved. I hope he will contunue to respect my wishes and leave me alone.

 

[BonosBaby12]

You are welcome It's good that you are keeping yourself so occuppied. That really will help you with getting to the point of where you want to be. Find with me that I think about too much stuff when I have time on my hands. Hope he continues to stay away from you. It's a great feeling when you feel free and you really deserve to experience that .