wolfeden
Refugee
warning, major frustration/pity party/vent-fest.
Right. So here I am, closer to 40 than to 20, got my degree, got my license, got almost 10 years experience being an EMT. I love my work. So does my brother who is also an EMT. For someone with a temperament like ours it's one of the only jobs we can stand doing... a peculiar mix of ADD and service-mindedness, I guess. 8 hours a day at a desk or in a cube would drive us both berserk.
I've worked just about every job you can come up with - food service, office, veterinary, construction, retail/management (never EVER again, gah), supermarket overnight shelf stocker, child care for pete's sake. EMS is the only work that makes me feel alive, interested, useful.
I was all set to go into training to become a Paramedic, had the application filled out and the recommendations from my supervisors written and sent.
Then it happened.
Sitting at a dead stop in traffic, in my dad's little Saturn that I'd borrowed for the day (in place of my work truck), I got rear-ended by someone, driving a loaded cargo van, who wasn't paying attention.
I don't remember a lot about the accident now, I remember the airbags did not go off but the car alarm did, and the burning hot poker of pain that shot up my neck and down into my back. I sort of remember being loaded into an ambulance and saying "I'm usually the one doing this job, not the one being carried off..." and I'm told I kept calling the tech who was working on me "Sir" as I did with any superior tech I worked with, though he told me not to.
My hands go numb now after a few minutes of any kind of finite work, even just holding a cup of coffee. I take a daily regime of advanced anti-inflammatories and muscle relaxers just to be able to turn my head. If the neck spasm gets past the Flexeril, blinding migraines ensue, several times a month. My lifting power is gone - I used to be ableto deadlift 150 lbs as a requirement for my job. I'm lucky now not to drop my 45-lb daughter lifting her in and out of the car, shopping carts, etc. My short-term memory is badly damaged from my brain sloshing in my head so hard - I have to stop in the middle of conversations and ask "what was I just saying?".
Bills mount in the meantime, and while I do have a legal team working on this for me, these things take time.
I feel like I'm failing everybody - my family, myself, the people I am trained to serve.
Right. So here I am, closer to 40 than to 20, got my degree, got my license, got almost 10 years experience being an EMT. I love my work. So does my brother who is also an EMT. For someone with a temperament like ours it's one of the only jobs we can stand doing... a peculiar mix of ADD and service-mindedness, I guess. 8 hours a day at a desk or in a cube would drive us both berserk.
I've worked just about every job you can come up with - food service, office, veterinary, construction, retail/management (never EVER again, gah), supermarket overnight shelf stocker, child care for pete's sake. EMS is the only work that makes me feel alive, interested, useful.
I was all set to go into training to become a Paramedic, had the application filled out and the recommendations from my supervisors written and sent.
Then it happened.
Sitting at a dead stop in traffic, in my dad's little Saturn that I'd borrowed for the day (in place of my work truck), I got rear-ended by someone, driving a loaded cargo van, who wasn't paying attention.
I don't remember a lot about the accident now, I remember the airbags did not go off but the car alarm did, and the burning hot poker of pain that shot up my neck and down into my back. I sort of remember being loaded into an ambulance and saying "I'm usually the one doing this job, not the one being carried off..." and I'm told I kept calling the tech who was working on me "Sir" as I did with any superior tech I worked with, though he told me not to.
My hands go numb now after a few minutes of any kind of finite work, even just holding a cup of coffee. I take a daily regime of advanced anti-inflammatories and muscle relaxers just to be able to turn my head. If the neck spasm gets past the Flexeril, blinding migraines ensue, several times a month. My lifting power is gone - I used to be ableto deadlift 150 lbs as a requirement for my job. I'm lucky now not to drop my 45-lb daughter lifting her in and out of the car, shopping carts, etc. My short-term memory is badly damaged from my brain sloshing in my head so hard - I have to stop in the middle of conversations and ask "what was I just saying?".
Bills mount in the meantime, and while I do have a legal team working on this for me, these things take time.
I feel like I'm failing everybody - my family, myself, the people I am trained to serve.
hugs for you brave man!
