Laura M
Blue Crack Addict
- Joined
- Jun 6, 2002
- Messages
- 18,934
[rant]
I really have a self esteem problem- a really bad one!!!! Now its just starting to really depress me, I ended up picking subjects at school which i regret now and I have to do public exams for 3 years in a row- im getting exam results on Thursday and im dreading it cus i dont wanna fail them- i have never failed an exam and if i got a C or less id be devestated!
I have friends but i hardly get to see them now because its summer and we have summer jobs and me and my best friend were fighting for ages and i havent spoken to her in a while. I really miss her but I spoke to her before she went to Wexford so ses coming back tomorrow and we are going out for some dinner and drinks for a friends 18th birthday which im looking forward to
Then there is this really nice guy who is just so nice to me- I have been mean to him and nasty to him and i am always putting myself down and this I think really annoys him cus he never shuts up about how pretty i am which i cant accept and really have a go at him and he STILL wants to go out with me which im really thankful for because hes a lovely person but i cant understand why he'd want to go out with someone like me and keep thinking he could do so much better which he tells me is stupid.
I know im not a nasty person and i am nice but now i am finding myself being mean to ppl because i hate myself and its really frustrating
i think this all started when i got bullied for about a year in school-it was awful and i really couldnt cope i was really pathetic and i have never had confidence in myself ever since, but lately i dunno just things seem to be really getting me down.
Does anyone ever feel like this??!!??
I just feel really pathetic and ugly and fat and I have problems telling ppl about this- i have never told anyone which i know is bad but i dont want my friends feeling sorry for me.
Its just got really bad and last week i just did something silly which i knew i shouldnt have but grrrr things jsut really annoy me sometimes
I dunno why im saying this- maybe cus i dont really know you and i dont have to look anyone in the face and tell them
I just am saying it anyway...*sigh*
I really have a self esteem problem- a really bad one!!!! Now its just starting to really depress me, I ended up picking subjects at school which i regret now and I have to do public exams for 3 years in a row- im getting exam results on Thursday and im dreading it cus i dont wanna fail them- i have never failed an exam and if i got a C or less id be devestated!
I have friends but i hardly get to see them now because its summer and we have summer jobs and me and my best friend were fighting for ages and i havent spoken to her in a while. I really miss her but I spoke to her before she went to Wexford so ses coming back tomorrow and we are going out for some dinner and drinks for a friends 18th birthday which im looking forward to
Then there is this really nice guy who is just so nice to me- I have been mean to him and nasty to him and i am always putting myself down and this I think really annoys him cus he never shuts up about how pretty i am which i cant accept and really have a go at him and he STILL wants to go out with me which im really thankful for because hes a lovely person but i cant understand why he'd want to go out with someone like me and keep thinking he could do so much better which he tells me is stupid.
I know im not a nasty person and i am nice but now i am finding myself being mean to ppl because i hate myself and its really frustrating
i think this all started when i got bullied for about a year in school-it was awful and i really couldnt cope i was really pathetic and i have never had confidence in myself ever since, but lately i dunno just things seem to be really getting me down.
Does anyone ever feel like this??!!??
I just feel really pathetic and ugly and fat and I have problems telling ppl about this- i have never told anyone which i know is bad but i dont want my friends feeling sorry for me.
Its just got really bad and last week i just did something silly which i knew i shouldnt have but grrrr things jsut really annoy me sometimes
I dunno why im saying this- maybe cus i dont really know you and i dont have to look anyone in the face and tell them
I just am saying it anyway...*sigh*