I dislike weddings at Christmas Time

[Got Philk?]

I hate weddings at Christmas Time

I hate them! I know...soooo sweet and such a beautiful time of year blah blah blah. Except it just puts strain on people's plans...


Enough complaining. I have a dilemma to work out here. My best friend...only one I cared to keep from high school, is getting married this upcoming Christmas. December 29 to be exact. I am very excited for him because we used to joke that neither of us were gonna get married. We got turned down lots in high school.

Problems are as follows:
1. The wedding is December 29
2. That is right after Christmas, which is bad b/c this is the year my entire family gets together. And that's a big deal b/c we are in Michigan, Chicago, Cali, and North Carolina.
3. The wedding itself is in Wyoming...at least 2 1/2 hours away from the nearest airport.
4. I don't have the money for a ticket/suit/car rental etc.

But he made it to my wedding in September, though he was in Denver at that time and has a brother who lives where I live.

I just don't know what to do! Of course I want to go, but how???

Thoughts?

 

[redkat]

Wyoming..

Sounds like you have no intention of missing the family gathering which is understandable. The flight and rental are big costs. Driving would be cheaper even with gas prices I'd think.

Would you have a place to stay? Weather could cause some problems too.

I say figure out costs look at if it's at all doable. Then tell him. I'm sure if you can't make it to a wedding in the middle of nowhere right after Christmas and right before New Years he'd understand and know that you would if you could.

 

[Got Philk?]

Oh, forgot to mention. Driving my vehicle to Wyoming is not an option...(read the past 6 month's worth of journal posts...$$$)

 

[corianderstem]

Who has a wedding in Wyoming in December? Isn't that risking everyone getting trapped in a gol-danged blizzard?

 

[anitram]

I actually hate weddings at this time of year for this exact same reason. It puts people in an uncomfortable position with so many other things going on.

Put it all on paper. If you can afford it with a bit of strain, then I'd go. But if it's a huge expense that will put you into debt...decline and send a nicer gift than you would have ordinarily given.

 

[Cin]

ask everyone for cash Christmas presents, or save really hard. People get so wrapped up in their weddings, they forget that it isn't everyone elses "special day". If you can't make it than that's their problem, not yours, hopefully they'll understand.

 

[BVS]

I hate weddings...

 

[corianderstem]

If you do go, they'd better have an open bar for your troubles. And good dancing.

 

[upabove]

Damn, another thread where the word "hate" is prominent. I thought a U2 forum would be more laid back. So much hate...

 

[Got Philk?]

I apologize upabove...


I dislike Christmas weddings immensly.

 

[waynetravis]

Damn, another thread where the word "hate" is prominent. I thought a U2 forum would be more laid back. So much hate...

What? We're supposed to be merry and cheerful because we're U2 fans??
We can hate who or whatever we want


Good luck in finding a solution, Phil
Its over the Christmas periord, if Hollywood has taught us right, thats the time where most miracles happen

 

[Bonochick]

Damn, another thread where the word "hate" is prominent. I thought a U2 forum would be more laid back. So much hate...

Don't try to pick a fight here, it's totally unnecessary.

Phil, I would just be completely honest and up front with your friend. I get nervous enough planning winter travel, as the weather can be unpredictable. But to have it right around Christmas when you have big family plans adds another huge factor to consider. Give it some thought and if you decide you just can't swing it, just be straight with him.

 

[Liesje]

Put it all on paper. If you can afford it with a bit of strain, then I'd go. But if it's a huge expense that will put you into debt...decline and send a nicer gift than you would have ordinarily given.

Yeah, it aint worth the paper. We're already into debt. I'm not paying for this. I can't help but think the cost of this would really be nice if we ever do decide to get a car that works...

Well, Phil already knows how I feel about this. I asked my mom what she thought, and she just looked at me and snorted. It would be one thing if this was a family wedding, and all the family was also going to the wedding, but....

 

[BonoIsMyMuse]

One of my best friends got married in Texas in March. I'm in upstate NY, and I'm on a very tight budget. There was no way I could fit the trip into my budget. I felt horrible not being able to go, but my friend was so understanding. I sent them one of those fancy new George Foreman grills as a present, which is more than I would've spent on a gift had I gone, and they love it. As it turns out, I don't have a job for the summer, so I'm living in part on what I would've spent to go. My friend just got a job about two hours from here, though, so it will be great getting to spend more time together again.

I'd say just be honest with him. If he's really your friend, he'll completely understand. It sounds like you wouldn't be able to afford to go right now whenever it is, but the fact that the wedding is at Christmas might be an out for you, since your family will be together this year. As much as you wish you could be there, if your car hasn't been doing so hot, you should probably be saving up for a down payment for your next one.

I hate living on a tight budget, but I keep telling myself that things will work out the way they're meant to (which sounds less cheesy when I think it, I swear )

 

[corianderstem]

Damn, another thread where the word "hate" is prominent. I thought a U2 forum would be more laid back. So much hate...

This is the third thread I've seen where you've come in and lectured us about throwing the word "hate" around.

I can't decide if you're a troll, or if you're just sorely unprepared for hanging out on the internet.

 

[WildHoneyAlways]

My friends and I were just talking about this. (we have a wedding on the 29th as well) I agree with you. It's extremely inconvenient and a financial drain. I'd bring it up sooner rather than later.

 

[phanan]

The week between Christmas and New Year's is brutal. They could have at least made it the week before Christmas.

Very inconvenient indeed.

 

[upabove]

This is the third thread I've seen where you've come in and lectured us about throwing the word "hate" around.

I can't decide if you're a troll, or if you're just sorely unprepared for hanging out on the internet.

I just don't understand why the need to be so negative. How is that being a troll? It just makes me sad that so many U2 fans can be so caught up on the crappy side of emotions. It's not a lecture, just an observation.

I like how you equate being negative to hanging out on the internet. Geez, that is a sad state of affairs I'd say. I've been on the internet since '95, which doesn't give me any special powers, I just wish there wasn't so much misery in people in general.

So, corianderstem, should I just keep quite unless I want to complain with the majority? I'm not calling people names or flaming people. Yet I offer a different perspective and I become considered a possible troll. Wow.

I thought a U2 message board would be a place of positive though, since U2's music brings so much peace to my soul. I'm not sure I was wrong, but I'm starting to thing that way.

Words have meaning. Hate has meaning. There are things to hate in life, but I think there is more to appreciate than hate. Things that bother us can be ignored. Hating just gives more power to the object in question.

edit: Also, corianderstem, I like how you tried to undercut my views by offering only two veins of thinking in regard to my posts. I guess you think because you have a ton more posts than I that your view has more weight behind it than anything I could think of. Post counts don't mean jack when it comes to ideas.

Just relax and interact. No need to bite one another in the neck.

 

[Bonochick]

Let's move on, upabove. You going on about negativity does nothing to make this place more positive.

 

[upabove]

Fair enough.

 

[corianderstem]

Ditto that. Apologies for thinking you might be a troll.

But for the record, I don't take post counts into consideration when making a snap judgement about someone on the internet.

 

[Got Philk?]

Dear Mods,
If you have such powers, you can put this to rest by changing my thread title from hate to dislike.

Thanks,
philk

 

[Bonochick]

Done! Although there was nothing wrong with it. Someone just felt like starting unnecessary trouble.

 

[Got Philk?]

thanks!

Yeah, I know it isn't a big deal. But hate is a strong word to some. And...I am NOT a hater.



Love Love Love
philk

 

[BonosBaby12]

Your friend didn't exactly pick the best time to get married. Usually around the holidays many are boggled down with family obligations. Not to mention the finacial strain that is felt after spending all of that hard earned money on presents But I think it is best to let your friend know well in advance. It's clear that you are not trying to ditch him on his special day. One should understand that family does come first!

My advice is send a really nice gift and best wishes

 

[randhail]

I'm torn on this one. Christmas time weddings suck. Traveling far away is a pain, although Wyoming in Decemeber would be spectacular - Jackson Hole anyone? The really difficult thing for me would be if this guy was in my wedding party. I would feel so horribly guilty if I didnt go to any of my groomsman's weddings, but if he wasn't in your party, then get him a solid gift and call it a day.

 

[Liesje]

I'm torn on this one. Christmas time weddings suck. Traveling far away is a pain, although Wyoming in Decemeber would be spectacular - Jackson Hole anyone? The really difficult thing for me would be if this guy was in my wedding party. I would feel so horribly guilty if I didnt go to any of my groomsman's weddings, but if he wasn't in your party, then get him a solid gift and call it a day.

He was an usher, so not a groomsman (only family).