I can't talk with my parents...

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Muggsy

Muggsy

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Joined
May 18, 2004
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I live in colombia, with a box of watercolors and
about anything personal... :huh:
it has been a problem since a long time ago... i don't find the words to tell them that i date with guys and stuff like that....

I'm 21 and there's not any trust between me and my parents... they still threat me like a little girl and my dad doesn't want me to go to parties and to bring friends home. Even worse, he is not able to talk to me in a honest way, sometimes he says ofensive things about my "reputation" and that really hurts me, my parents gave me a good education, i'm not a slut but I think that my dad sees me like one.

it really hurts when I have to hide a part of my life from my parents. I don't feel comfortable telling them that i have a boyfriend, showing that I'm an adult woman with a relationship and that I can handle my body and my feelings with responsability.

I talked with a friend about this once, and she tell me that it would be impossible for me to stablish a good relationship with my parents if I couldn't do it when i was younger... i think she is right . :(
 
Mr. Baw :up: :hug:

Muggsy, I don't know what to say really. I don't talk about too personal things with my folks because I'm afraid to be judged by them and end up with a mixed up head so I'm really not the best person to give much advise. However my parents are great people and maybe I'm just paranoid. I think what you need to do is to tell to your parents about how you feel, how do they treat you and how do you want them to treat you and why. Maybe then they will slowly understand. Good luck! :hug:
 
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Do you still live at home? I never talked about much w/ my parents b/c they raised me very independent and were always working so I didn't feel like bothering them. Now that I live apart from them and we don't get in each others' way, it's easier to talk about some things.
 
Being a late teen/early 20something makes things incredibly complicated with one's parents. I had to move out this semester, I'd been commuting for two years. They've become more and more fundamentalist in their Christian perspectives, and I respect that, but I don't want to have to challenge my dad on every narrow-minded thing he says, and I really have a hard time getting them to accept some of my interests. I really love them, but we're entirely different people. So just give it some time, and at the very least try to share your thoughts about your relationship with them at some point. It can only make things so much worse before they start to get better.
 
Muggsy said:
about anything personal... :huh:
it has been a problem since a long time ago... i don't find the words to tell them that i date with guys and stuff like that....

I'm 21 and there's not any trust between me and my parents... they still threat me like a little girl and my dad doesn't want me to go to parties and to bring friends home. Even worse, he is not able to talk to me in a honest way, sometimes he says ofensive things about my "reputation" and that really hurts me, my parents gave me a good education, i'm not a slut but I think that my dad sees me like one.

it really hurts when I have to hide a part of my life from my parents. I don't feel comfortable telling them that i have a boyfriend, showing that I'm an adult woman with a relationship and that I can handle my body and my feelings with responsability.

I talked with a friend about this once, and she tell me that it would be impossible for me to stablish a good relationship with my parents if I couldn't do it when i was younger... i think she is right . :(
Click to expand...



Hey fag, take your problems somewhere else, this is a U2 website. Go on some homo site and cry to them about your faggety ass life.
 
TheBrazilianFly said:
Mr. Baw :up: :hug:

Muggsy, I don't know what to say really. I don't talk about too personal things with my folks because I'm afraid to be judged by them and end up with a mixed up head so I'm really not the best person to give much advise. However my parents are great people and maybe I'm just paranoid. I think what you need to do is to tell to your parents about how you feel, how do they treat you and how do you want them to treat you and why. Maybe then they will slowly understand. Good luck! :hug:
Click to expand...

yeah... maybe i'm afraid to be judged by my parents. but, I just don't why can't i say "hey mom i'm gonna have dinner with my BF tomorrow", instead i make a lot of lame excuses just to avoid the questions... and i've never introduced my male friends to them.

my mom... she is great, but she can't help to overprotect me (hey I feel like britney!!... Lol ), she knows some of my friends but she doesn't know any fact about my feelings or my personal life, anyway, she is a mom and I know that she knows some things ... my dad is very kind and sweet when I'm an innocent girl who only thinks about her career, but he gets really weird when i bring a guy home or when I go out. he censors everything: my music, my books, my opinions... that really sucks and I can't talk with them about anything and I feel that my parents doesn't want to let me go and live my own life.
 
Re: Re: I can't talk with my parents...

hrvat84 said:

Hey fag, take your problems somewhere else, this is a U2 website. Go on some homo site and cry to them about your faggety ass life.
Click to expand...

:eyebrow: Funny, since those that care about Muggsy know she is a FEMALE, but oh wait, you've only just joined and already are attacking people so you wouldn't know that would you? :rolleyes:

Muggsy, some parents just need to learn the hard way. Maybe you could get a place w/ some friends and prove to your parents you're your own person and perfectly capable of making the right choices. :hug:
 
:hug:

edit: What I had here before was just as immature. Apologies to any who read it.

Don't let the bastards grind you down.
 
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Hi Muggsy:

A quick question and some comments:

Are you the oldest child? If so, it could be a case of your parents trying to get their head around you being an adult and no longer a child. It may be your parents trying to protect you, even though it doesn't seem like that to you. Sometimes parents say things which sound like they don't trust you, but it is actually the world that they don't trust.

Maybe write down what you would like to say to them first, explain that what they say upsets you and makes you feel like they don't trust you, but keep it general. Tell them that you want to be close to them and have them involved in your life but that you don't feel like that at the moment and it hurts you. Then if they ask about specifics, give them an example which is not going to upset anybody too much. This way you can start talking to each other. If any of you start to get upset, just say, I don't want to talk about this any more until we have all calmed down again and get up and walk away. I am sure over time that it will get easier for you.

I hope this helps.

Cheers,

:)
 
Muggsy you just keep living your life as well as you can live it. I have a feeling that your parents will come to accept you as you are. I also have a feeling that their problems are more about letting go of one of their kids than about your lifestyle itself. Parents tend to want to shelter their children from the hurts in life and I think this may be the case with your family.

Lemme tell ya, at your age, you SHOULD have a boyfriend hehe. I think truth be told your parents would be more worried about you if you didn't have one cuz deep down they know it's normal for a girl your age to want to be with somebody special.
 
Re: Re: I can't talk with my parents...

hrvat84 said:




Hey fag, take your problems somewhere else, this is a U2 website. Go on some homo site and cry to them about your faggety ass life.
Click to expand...


you know, YOU need to go find another site...or another band to be a fan of because OUR band, U2, is all about tolerance!!

And, get your facts straight before you go spewing off cuz Mugs is a girl. Not that it should matter in the least.
 
Re: Re: I can't talk with my parents...

hrvat84 said:




Hey fag, take your problems somewhere else, this is a U2 website. Go on some homo site and cry to them about your faggety ass life.
Click to expand...

um

are you insane?

:down: :down: :down: :down: :down:
 
Tania said:
Hi Muggsy:

A quick question and some comments:

Are you the oldest child? If so, it could be a case of your parents trying to get their head around you being an adult and no longer a child. It may be your parents trying to protect you, even though it doesn't seem like that to you. Sometimes parents say things which sound like they don't trust you, but it is actually the world that they don't trust.

:)
Click to expand...

yeah... i'm the oldest child and we are both girls (hard uh?). but, as i said before they raised me well and I've learned to say "no" and to do just what I want. On the other hand is hard for me to introduce my bf and my friends to my parents cuz they are not exactly momma's boys.
 
:up: Mr BAW is sooo cool! I'm the oldest of 2 girls and had exactly the same problem as you. I couldn't talk to my parents about anything personal. If I did try to ask them anything I would end up even more confused after their answers as they didn't answer straight and would speak to me in little girl language! Even now (I'm 40) my dad still tries to treat me like a child, but overall, we have a good relationship now and I don't think what you're experiencing now will affect your future relationship with your parents. :hug:
 
Re: Re: I can't talk with my parents...

hrvat84 said:




Hey fag, take your problems somewhere else, this is a U2 website. Go on some homo site and cry to them about your faggety ass life.
Click to expand...



:ohmy:


How can that be possible here ?


:down:


And that's too easy to hide behind a pic of Bono...

Mugsy : maybe friends can listen to you instead. There are some personal questions parents are not ready / willing to hear... only because they don't know how to answer !
And, about your BF... well, according to most parents guys are rarely good enough for their daughters ! :) How long have you been with your BF ? Is that long enough to introduce him to your parents ? Just think about that.

Well, good luck girl !

and go on posting sexy pics :sexywink: yay !

Marie
 
Re: Re: Re: I can't talk with my parents...

LoveTown said:



you know, YOU need to go find another site...or another band to be a fan of because OUR band, U2, is all about tolerance!!

And, get your facts straight before you go spewing off cuz Mugs is a girl. Not that it should matter in the least.
Click to expand...


:up:
 
Re: Re: Re: I can't talk with my parents...

MissMaCo said:

And, about your BF... well, according to most parents guys are rarely good enough for their daughters ! :) How long have you been with your BF ? Is that long enough to introduce him to your parents ? Just think about that.

Well, good luck girl !

and go on posting sexy pics :sexywink: yay !

Marie
Click to expand...

about my bf... i've been with him 2 years, he studies with me, he's kind and a smart guy. he looks a little scary for most of moms (baggy clothes, gangsta actitude) but he respects me and he's sweet. my mom saw him once at college and she said "why is he showing his underpants???" hahaha...
 
I can't talk with my parents...
Click to expand...

Who can???

I'm the oldest of four, with all the crap that came with that role (so if anyone wonders why I'm messed up, there ya go). I stopped talking with my parents a long time ago. My parents lived in kind of a fantasy world where everyone is "nice" and we rarely had conflict in our family. But when we did, GUESS WHO was almost always involved? My siblings were all angels, straight-A students, honor society, popular, top of their class, yadda yadda. Me, the black sheep? I did everything wrong...and my parents didn't care to hear about it because they were THE MAN! Trying to keep me down! :) They were extremely disapproving, and nothing I ever did was right. So in HS I pretty much stopped talking about anything in my life that wasn't just fluffy and "nice"...

Sadly, it's true to this day. I now have no deep emotional bond with my parents, esp. my mom, and visiting with them is painful and awkward (my Christmas visits seem to get shorter and shorter each year), and even telling them "I love you" is downright uncomfortable! :(

Frankly, if my folks knew half the stuff that I'd done in my life, I seriously believe it would kill them, so I don't tell them. I've always been so envious of friends who are close their their folks, because it's something I've never had. It's better now that I've "grown up", but I've accepted that it'll never be what I wish it could have been. :sigh:
 
Discoteque said:


Who can???


Frankly, if my folks knew half the stuff that I'd done in my life, I seriously believe it would kill them, so I don't tell them. I've always been so envious of friends who are close their their folks, because it's something I've never had. It's better now that I've "grown up", but I've accepted that it'll never be what I wish it could have been. :sigh:
Click to expand...

they would kill me too :uhoh:... but i feel no regrets :wink:

... and yeah, i feel envy when i see my friends having deeper relationships with their parents.
 
Re: Re: Re: Re: I can't talk with my parents...

Muggsy said:


my mom saw him once at college and she said "why is he showing his underpants???" hahaha...
Click to expand...


:laugh:

:hug:


well, Muggsy mom : he does wear underpants... that's already a good thing ! :D
 
Muggsy said:


i feel envy when i see my friends having deeper relationships with their parents.
Click to expand...

When our youngest, Daniel, was about 10 years, it goes without saying that he was quite impressionable...anyway, he was very good friends with a little guy around the block, whose father was a Fireman/paramedics....Daniel would come home with stories of "Steve said this, Steve said that..."

I confess that got to me...you see, he never saw me as a policeman, it never registered to him that I was also in the business of saving lives....he saw a difference in that he believed that the firemen were good and the cops were bad...

All it took was showing him some old police photos, a high school year book and some good war stories of my own to win him back; he only saw his dad as an insurance guy who worked from his home..never did he consider how in the trenches I really was....he's my boy now! oh, by the way, Steve divorced his wife, broke up his family and moved from the area...:(
 
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Re: Re: I can't talk with my parents...

hrvat84 said:
Hey fag, take your problems somewhere else, this is a U2 website. Go on some homo site and cry to them about your faggety ass life.
Click to expand...

Thanks for pointing out this is a U2 site....i sure as hell didnt know what i've been doing here the last 2 years.
and i thought my posts were bad......

personaly i find i cant talk with my Father with most of the things i talk to my mother about.
Its just stupid little things, i get the feeling Dad doenst listen to me at times. but oh well. Plus hes hardley home, so that makes things worse, i think.
 
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Re: Re: I can't talk with my parents...

hrvat84 said:




Hey fag, take your problems somewhere else, this is a U2 website. Go on some homo site and cry to them about your faggety ass life.
Click to expand...



Hey you have five whole posts here and you have the balls to talk to HER like that?! You're lucky I can't track you down and kick your ass.


:angry:
 
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