I am quite unpopular

[AcrobatMan]

Be it school, college or the company.

Random sample incident .

Rewind back to 1992, In my school days, we used to get ranks after exam ( academics - maths, science, economics etc etc).. like 1st , 2nd , 5th and so.. There were 50 guys . I used to be 1st for 5 or 6 years in a row. There was another guy who was something like 7th three years back , then next year he was 3rd and the last year he was 2nd.

So when the announcement for ranks came - it was done in decending order. so only 2 ranks remained..1st and 2nd..and 2 people ..me and that guy.. The teacher asked who do you think is 1st ? The whole class shouted that guy's name. My heart sank. I had done nothing wrong. Helped anyone who asked me anything. I was a bit unsocial but that was all. I should have got atleast 25% of the voice vote but all i got was of 2-3 guys who were my real friends. I still got 1st but I realised how unpopular I was. Since then at all place - same thing happens. I talk less ( sometimes blunt -something i need to work on ) and dont mingle around. So I think I'm not popular. Sometime when I try to mingle , I overdo it.I ask things which i shouldnt and which is not considered ok. Thats my problem.

But probably things arent as bad as I have written, probably
people see me more as un-social. But surely i am one of the least popular person wherever I go.

Any ideas on how to become popular

AcrobatMan

 

[zoney!]

Hollywood sucks

Well, when I watch movies, it seems like all you have to do is date a hot chick...and then you become popular. OR try a whole new wardrobe and learn how to dance by watching a TV dance show.

Try that!

 

[HeadsOnSticks]

why on earth would you want to be popular? just be yourself.

 

[Chizip]

they probably just voted for the other guy because everyone loves the underdog. you are like the new york yankees, always coming in first everytime, so people get jealous and always want the top person to fall. i wouldnt take it personally.

but if you want to become more popular, here are a few tips from my good friends nada surf, it sure has helped me

Being attractive is the most important thing there is
If you wanna catch the biggest fish in your pond
You have to be as attractive as possible
Make sure to keep your hair spotless and clean
Wash it at least every two weeks
Once every two weeks
And if you see Jhonny football hero in the hall
Tell him he played a great game
Tell him you like his article in the newspaper

I'm the party star
I'm popular
I've got my own car
I'm popular
I'll never get caught
I'm popular
I make football bets
I'm a teachers pet.

I propose we support a one month limit on going steady
I think It will keep you both more able to deal with weird situation
And get to know more people
I think if you're ready to go out with Johnny
Now's the time to tell him about your one month limit
He wont mind he'll apreciate your fresh look on dating
And once you've dated someone else you can date him again
I'm sure he'll like it
Everyone will appreciate it
You so novel what a good idea
You can keep your time to your self
You don't need date insurance
You can go out with whoever you want to
Every boy, every boy, in the whole world could be yours
If you'll just listen to my plan
THE TEENAGE GUIDE TO POPULARITY

 

[Angela Harlem]

why on earth would you want to be popular? just be yourself.

Yes. Exactly. Correct.

 

[HeartlandGirl]

all i got was of 2-3 guys who were my real friends.

And at the end of the day, that's more valuable than any popularity. Popularity is a fleeting thing. Hold on to what's real and what's really important. Everything else will work itself out.

 

[AcrobatMan]

just as recently as 2 months back when i had hepatitis, i thought many colleagues/friends would come to see me.. but no one came..one of my colleagues called me though .. that was it.

and when i went back to work , few people asked me " are u ok" & i said " yeah" and that was all

time to listen to my favorite song

thank u all for ur kind advice

 

[AcrobatMan]

thanks Chizip


nice tips

 

[FizzingWhizzbees]

I used to feel just the same in high school. I was just about the most disliked person in my year, mostly because I went to a private school but didn't have to pay fees because my Dad was a teacher there. Apparently having less money than all your peers is a reason to be hated for five years.

Anyway, what I wanted to say was that even though it's horrible to feel that you're disliked, being "popular" isn't the most important thing in the world. If you ask me, it's much better to have a group of close friends who you know appreciate and value you for who you are, rather than having a whole crowd of people who superficially "like" you for who they think you are.

 

[forbonou2]

Yes-that's it fiss! Just be YOU, and be thankful that you do have friends! Because when a crisis hits-you will find out who your Friends really are!! I havn't been the most popular-but I have 2 friends that have been friends with me for 25 years! And another, 17! Time And Trials will tell you for sure!

 

[joyfulgirl]

why on earth would you want to be popular? just be yourself.

Right on.

I was never popular in school nor at work, but I set it up that way because I don't really like to get involved except when I choose to. At work for example, I make myself indispensable by doing my job better than anyone else can do it and at the same time, keep my distance because I don't like work to spill over into my private life. So my colleagues can never quite get a handle on me. They know they need me, but I won't get invited to the President or Executive Director's house for social events which is a great relief for me. I'm quite antisocial in that way--I hate small talk and schmoozing and getting drawn into office politics and non-work social events with colleagues who I truly love and enjoy but 40 hours a week spent with them is enough; I don't need to go to the movies and dinner with them, too.

 

[HeartlandGirl]

Amen to your work approach, joyful. I try desperately to do the same, but it can be hard when you work with as few people as I do. 40 hours a week is more time than I spend with my husband (minus sleeping). I don't hang out with any coworkers outside of work, and I like it that way.

 

[najeena]

Try throwing smiles around for a while. Not a teeth-baring excercise in insincerity, but an honest-to-god grin. People love 'em.

 

[joyfulgirl]

Amen to your work approach, joyful. I try desperately to do the same, but it can be hard when you work with as few people as I do.

You're right. It was much easier when I worked for a publishing house with 5000 people, but now I work with just 12 people. It's much harder to set and keep those boundaries and there is always the risk that if they need to cut someone, I could be it because I don't always play the game. One time I turned down an invitation to dinner from a colleague saying I had other plans and then I ran into them at the movies. I was alone! Nowhere to run, nowhere to hide.

 

[U2Kitten]

I am not a people person, so I have never been popular. I also find it impossible to fake a smile I don't mean, or kiss up to anyone I don't really like just to get something or somewhere. So I've been a loser all my life, but I feel a strange sense of pride for being myself.

It reminds me of a line from a Fastball song:

I may not be the man you want me to,
but I can be myself, how 'bout you?

 

[AcrobatMan]

I am not a people person, so I have never been popular. I also find it impossible to fake a smile I don't mean, or kiss up to anyone I don't really like just to get something or somewhere. So I've been a loser all my life, but I feel a strange sense of pride for being myself.

exactly my sentiments.. precisely...

 

[Laura M]

I am unpopular everywhere I go

Especially in work

 

[IWasBored]

popular people suck

 

[AcrobatMan]

I am unpopular everywhere I go

Especially in work

hiya

 

[AcrobatMan]

popular people suck

popular people are manipulative, they lie more often, they fake smiles, they dont talk straight..

popularity is over-rated

but i can do with a little of it

 

[LCK]

Hi AcrobatMan, I'll give you the benefit of my years of wisdom (read: old bint on her soapbox, lol) I was really popular in high school, for all the wrong reasons. I received excellent grades, not to sound immodest, but I downplayed them because for some reason being smart in high school is often more scorned than admired which is really screwed up in retrospect. But I was popular because of the way I looked and dressed etc, in other words I conformed to everyone else's idea of what a popular girl should be. Sad to sell out on yourself cause other ppl's opinions matter THAT much. It does matter what other ppl think in high school though, it hurts not to be liked...

Anyway, people grow up, mostly, and speaking as a woman now, give me a 'nerd' over an arrogant Mr. Popularity any day! This is going to sound really corny, but *I* like myself enough not to sell myself out to please others or be popular. Not catering to what other ppl think of you is very liberating...so long as you're behaving in a way that respects their rights etc. Social graces et al. Be true to yourself, cherish the *real* friends you have, and shame on your asinine teacher for making such a public competition out of grades!

 

[The_Sweetest_Thing]

Hey....if you were coming in first, all those years, most likely people were just jealous. Really. AND, the fact that your teacher asked who might have come in fist migth have also led the others to believe that it was the other guy. Just another reason they may have shouted for him. He may not be extremely popular, after all.

Besides, having 2-3 good friends is better than 10 semi-friends....

 

[LarryMullen's POPAngel]

Be yourself.

Sucking up blows.

 

[flaming june]

I am not a people person, so I have never been popular. I also find it impossible to fake a smile I don't mean, or kiss up to anyone I don't really like just to get something or somewhere. So I've been a loser all my life, but I feel a strange sense of pride for being myself.

It reminds me of a line from a Fastball song:

I may not be the man you want me to,
but I can be myself, how 'bout you?

I'm like that too. I prefer to be honest. At least I know I'm not surrounded by a bunch of fake friends.

Unpopular people interest me much more than popular people. I'm a geek and I love geeks.