Originally posted by Crzy4Bono:
I hope I fall into the other 14% (or 7% depending on which study you subscribe to...
....and OUR genes shall inherit the earth
Seriously, it's really not as scary as some of you make it sound. You just have the kid, and it becomes another person in your life. It's not a burden or a prison sentence or a ball and chain. I have raised my kids not as baggage but as friends and I love them. They are getting older now and I'm SO glad I had them when I did! (I'm 40, they are 15 and 12) Of all the hideous mistakes I have made in my life, this was NOT one of them. Just because you have kids doesn't mean you are tied down. I have taken mine on cross country trips, hiking adventures and yes, U2 concerts!!
As far as the pain, it's not so bad and it doesn't last long. I remember when I was 6 months pregnant I came out of the Dr.'s office after an appt. and had a crying fit of terror in my car. I thought, well, no matter what happens now, it's going to hurt, and it's going to be gross. I was so scared! Then I went into the Kmart to walk around and I heard voices calling 'Mommy!' "MOM" and "Grandma!" and every time a woman answered. It hit me- almost all ladies are 'mom' and most of them gave birth, they are alive and healthy and normal and it's okay! It's meant to be, it happens every day, animals have babies in the woods and no one tells them when to push. It helped me, and I stopped being scared.
Having a human being who is part of you that you will have and to keep is worth it. They might grow up to be something you hate, but then again, they could just be your best friend, your confidant and your 'comfort in your old age.' It's a chance like anything else, but of course only take it if you want to. I was just thinking that so many of you who said you didn't want kids were such cool, smart people and what fun parents you'd make for some kid, while so many sorry asses out there who have no business with kids are breeding like rabbits. What's to become of this world, oh woe. What can you do.
This is just my experience and I thought I needed to tell it since I'm so old. I am not trying to change anyone's mind. I just didn't want the fear of pain or being held down to stop you because those things really aren't as bad as they look from a distance. If you really feel you don't want kids, then don't have them, because if you had them to please someone else you might resent them and that's now how it's supposed to be. I have seen people have them just for the sake of having them, and spend no time with them and really not like them. I knew a girl who worked at a day care center and she said kids were regularly picked up at 6 PM then dropped back off at 6 AM in the same shitty diapers they had when they left and the same gum in their hair for days. Those people didn't want those kids. They shouldn't have had them. I'm not saying any of you would do that of course but it did change my mind because I used to think everyone should have kids but I don't anymore. I understand how everyone feels. My husband's sister said she didn't want them because she up and admitted she was 'too selfish.' Well, okay. I'll buy that a whole lot more than the 'not ready' line. From what I've seen, those who always say they are 'not ready' never will be because if they feel like a kid will hold you back financially/emotionally/fun-wise or for whatever reason they feel they want to wait to be 'burdened' and look at having a kid around that way will probably never enjoy being a parent, so just give it up. I admire everyone here who has just laid it on the line and admitted their basic facts and feelings. If you want them have them and if you don't feel it's for you that's okay too. Maybe you were destined for other things. Don't worry, Edge, Bono, Larry, Crzy and I will repopulate the earth
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"I've been all over,
and it's been all over me!"
[This message has been edited by GypsyHeartgirl (edited 05-25-2002).]
[This message has been edited by GypsyHeartgirl (edited 05-25-2002).]
aisyone75
