In John's defense, I got a better sense of what he means earlier in the thread, and I think describing this sort of approach just doesn't sound good in writing. It sounds assholish, but it's really not. You meet a guy, he's funny, sort of smart-assish, mildly teasing and flirty, doesn't fawn over you, and then before you know it, you look forward to seeing him again, because he makes you laugh and feel good, and then soon, you're wishing you had his attention. Been there. And, it really is appealing.
Also, I've had male friends that I've realized I've had romantic feelings for, too. Sometimes they've gotten there before I have - they start behaving a little differently - more attentive, more complimentary, and it takes a while for me to clue in to what's happening, but there have been a few times where I've suddenly realized what's happening, and thought "Huh. Maybe I
could see us together." Then there have been other times where I think the realization has sort of been simultaneous for both of us (at least I think it has, maybe he just hid it).
The former are fun guys, and when you do end up together, it can be a lot of fun. But in my experience, the ones I've known don't make the adjustment that John describes to super-nice-guy, great-boyfriend-material, they sort of stay...well, the way they are. They're fun for a while, but it tends to burn out quickly.
For something more longterm and significant, I've found the second kind of guy to be the best bet. They seem to care more, and ultimately be more invested in the relationship, long after the first kind of guy has moved on to try his methods with someone else.
These are just my observations. Don't go by me, though. If you measure relationship success by permanence, I'm currently single, so it's a work in progress. I guess my point is, for you younger guys out there, both ways can work, there's no right or wrong way. Just be yourself, and have confidence, but you're not going to feel confident behaving in ways that are completely contradictory to who you are. By being the latter kind of a guy, you might not get quantity, but you'll probably get quality.