Getting a bit worried about a mate of mine, some help would be appreciated.

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cobl04

45:33
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I'll get straight into it....

I've got this mate. He's Greek, and is really focused on school, but I'm getting a bit worried. here's why.

In Year 7/8 he was pretty quiet, unassuming, dedicated but generally a good kid, easy to get along with and really nice.

In Year 9 he had this unbelievable personality change (I wondered at one stage whether he'd received damage to his frontal lobe, it was that significant) and he became the loudest, most obnoxious and offensive person I've ever known, but ultimately he was EXTREMELY hilarious. He would have us in fits of laughter, till the point where we could not breathe. He'd go out and pick up girls, probably your stereotypical woggy kind of bloke.

In the second semester Year 9 I actually had major troubles with him (I posted a thread about it in here somewhere) where he began calling me a pedophile and it was deeply hurtful. Because of my nature, all eventually was forgiven, we moved on.

Year 10 he continued this alter ego, though it was to a less extent, as school started getting a bit more important. He became a bit more serious. But this was completely understandable, he was still a normal kid.

Year 11 began, which is known as VCE for us Victorians (dunno the equivalent, but it's basically two pretty important years, yrs 11 and 12, which count towards your final score and whether you get into a uni course or not). And he began to get really serious. But he'd still take care of his appearance, still smile, still be sociable, and all the rest of it. But he lost his alter ego.

Start of this year, before Yr 12 started, we went round to his place and it was like old times, he was really cool, and we enjoyed it immensely. This all changed however when we got back to school.

Now, he is 110% dedicated to school. fair enough, I suppose. But he seems so depressed. He sits with our group of mates, but won't partake in conversation, won't laugh at any jokes, won't smile, will barely pay attention. He is very very softly spoken, sounds despondent, and even has the effect of bringing others down. His appearance is pretty shocking, and it's hard to watch him at times. Some mates of mine have even caught him in the toilets waiting for the bell to go so he can go back to class.

Anyway that's the situation... is there something to be done? is he showing signs of depression or anything? i want to do something because he seems really lost. if he keeps going he might have a breakdown, or something, come final exams. no one else will do anything, so I just want some advice.

Thanks!!
 
I'm no professional, but from the picture you've painted, your friend sounds as if he's manic - possibly bipolar. As for how to approach the problem, I'm at a loss... I mean, you could approach him with absolute regard for nothing but his well being & he may appreciate someone 'reaching out' to him or he may feel threatened, labeled, insulted & lash back at you with great venom. I hope someone here has experience and can offer you some solid suggestions.

My best wishes to you and your mate. :up:
 
Thanks! :up:

Though I think manic/bipolar's out of the question as his erratic, 'alterego' behaviour stopped two years ago, he is just this despondent person now.
 
depression? It's not always a chronic thing. It can come on with a change that you don't even realize affects you at the time.

drugs? (man am I a parent or what?!)

Have you talked to him? I know guys are big into the whole sharing feelings thing but it's important for him to know that you've noticed a change and sometimes that's what it takes to realize that you've changed. He may not even realize that it's noticeable.

Good luck. Nice that you're looking out for your mates.
 
It also occurred to me as I thought more about this that maybe he's having an identity crisis... maybe in relation to his sexual orientation? I don't mean to insinuate that just because a young man's depressed or acting erratically that he's in the closet - it's just a thought that came to mind. :shrug:
 
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