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Lynz778

The Fly
Joined
Jan 19, 2005
Messages
226
Location
Australia...Canberra (unfortunatly :P)
Ok, so I really like one of my close friends. I have told him this and he doesn't feel the same, however he really liked me about a year ago. Things must have changed I guess. The only problem now is, becuase I spend so much time with him, I feel as if I'm punishing him cause it hurts that he doesn't want me. I'm worried im not being the friend he deserves cause of feelings for him.

What should I do?
 
If you're friends you shouldn't escalate the relationship unless you have very deep feelings for him and are sure you know what your feelings really are. A friendship is should *never* be threatened unless a person is absolutely sure of what they are feeling. It is your decision though. Hope it goes well for you. :hug:
 
hope things work out for you...You can push but never too hard.Im confused you told him about how you liked him but when he still doesnt feel the same about you, you still push him?
 
Oh I don't push him as such, it comes out in other ways. I've liked him for months now and it's just me trying to stop getting so upset when he talks about other girls. I never ever take it out directly, its his right of course, it just comes out in other ways without me being able to control it. I feel like im not as tolerant and things as i really should be.

Thankyou for your help
 
Lynz778 said:
Oh I don't push him as such, it comes out in other ways. I've liked him for months now and it's just me trying to stop getting so upset when he talks about other girls. I never ever take it out directly, its his right of course, it just comes out in other ways without me being able to control it. I feel like im not as tolerant and things as i really should be.

The unease of hearing people you like talking about the boy or girl they're seeing never gets any easier, believe me I've been in that situation. It is impossible to hold back frustration sometimes. You shouldn't feel like you're not tolerant enough. The more you fight back your feelings, the harder you'll find it is to be around him. If you ever find that something is going to come out around him, show him how you feel through your eyes. Women have this ability to break guys down with only stares. He'll start to sense that something is wrong and be more willing to listen to you. At which point you express how you feel. Guys sometimes need to be saved from themselves.
 
oh boy, I know the feeling

just, uh... I don't really have any advice for you, lol. I mean I love him and he's still with the same girl he's been with since the dawn of time and we're still good friends and that's that.

I don't quite get what you mean when you say you're punishing him??

i understand it can be hard hearing him talk about other girls, you could maybe try and say you'd rather talk about something else...of course you don't wanna come across as insensitive... personally I'd just deal with it. it sucks but that's the way it is.

still, do you really feel like you're being a bad friend? I bet you're not.

just remember that you can't help the way you feel. so don't ever feel guilty about it.
 
By punishing I mean getting angry at him and him not knowing why, just being moody and sometimes not much fun. I guess I still manage to maintain a good relationship with him, just really hard you know? But hey I guess everyone goes through this at some point.
 
ahh... well, it doesn't sound like you do anything too bad, and I'm sure if he thought you weren't being a good friend or whatever, he'd tell you.

love can make you do irrational things
 
Lynz....been there, done that. If i were you, i would think carefullyabout value of your friendship. These things takes time and you can both get over it or get more hurt. I dont know how deep your feelings are, but if you go through hell every time he talks about other girls.....i would rather protect myself by making distance. Maybe just for a while...maybe you meet someone else.
Personally, i dont think that being often around this person really helps. Screwtape2 made some good points. I know how hard is to stay away but at one point i decided to close my relation with one i cant have (and longtime friend actually). On the other hand, if he is true friend, reconsider. Maybe you just need a break.
 
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