Friend Dilema

[Got Philk?]

I should clarify this right off the bat. My friend is not the dilema.

I have this good friend. I'd say he's my best friend that I have in the area. We met in the dorms of our college, and lived in the same dorm/apartment/house for a good 5 years. We still hang out and watch some soccer, even play on a soccer team together and whatnot and I really enjoy his company.

My problem is this. He has this girlfriend. This isn't some "I like him better when she's not there" type of thing either. The girl really is just a little bit, awkward or different to me. I guess what I really mean is I can't find a thread of similarity between us really.

Well, because of this, we don't do anything together at all, my wife, myself and them. I'd really like to set something up like that, but it's her that holds me back every time. I don't know. Is it really as simple as "just get over it"?

 

[Liesje]

Yeah, I've only met her a few times and she was nice and all, but it always seemed like she'd rather we go away and leave her alone with the guy (our friend, Phil's friend mainly).

 

[Lila64]

Maybe she's the possessive type and wants him all to herself?

What does your friend think? I'm sure it's not been discussed. But, I mean, can you plan a dinner or hike or some activity? Or will he just shoot it down, or will she? You can ask and see what happens

 

[Utoo]

It could be that spending some awkward time with them is what it'll take to get her to loosen up. My best friend from high school (one of the few people I still keep in touch with from then) started dating this girl during our freshman year in college. She barely spoke to the rest of us and all the stories I'd ever heard about her from my friend were about their fights (turns out he later said he hates talking about good stuff because it feels like bragging...yeah, he's weird). Now we're 5 years out of college, they're married, and she's actually pretty normal. It took a good 3-4 years of them being together and us going through some awkward hanging-out time for her to finally crack. I don't know what the issue was, but she's pretty cool now.

Everyone's different, so the same thing may not work with this person, but there's my experience.

 

[redhotswami]

She sweats you.