First Loves

[HelloAngel]

We all remember our first loves.. mine happened in 8th grade and lasted until I was 22 or so. This guy haunted me,.. I couldn't stop thinking about him, even when I moved and didnt see or contact him for 5 years. Then miraculously, I met someone online who knew his brother, and so we got back in touch.. in 1997.

It's now 2002.

I can't forget, and now I've moved closer to where it all began all those years ago. He floods my dreams, and I dream about the way it was, could have been and ought to be. It's all so lucid. When I wake, I can feel his spirit.

He's been invading my dreams weekly since I've moved here. It's the oddest feeling. Do any of you believe our souls can call out to another person in dreams to communicate that which we cannot in waking life? Is it possible that perhaps he thinks of me too?

(Background -> We never went out. Officially. He was the classs clown and too cool for words. But we feel for each other hard. Then I moved 2 years later. 5 years after that was when I saw him in 1997. Nothing since.)

Help me make sense of this. Does everyone feel this way about someone from the past? Do we all longingly romanticise for years and years? Does this mean I should contact him or try to - or does this just make me normal?

 

[Diemen]

We all remember our first loves.. mine happened in 8th grade and lasted until I was 22 or so. This guy haunted me,.. I couldn't stop thinking about him, even when I moved and didnt see or contact him for 5 years. Then miraculously, I met someone online who knew his brother, and so we got back in touch.. in 1997.

It's now 2002.

I can't forget, and now I've moved closer to where it all began all those years ago. He floods my dreams, and I dream about the way it was, could have been and ought to be. It's all so lucid. When I wake, I can feel his spirit.

He's been invading my dreams weekly since I've moved here. It's the oddest feeling. Do any of you believe our souls can call out to another person in dreams to communicate that which we cannot in waking life? Is it possible that perhaps he thinks of me too?

(Background -> We never went out. Officially. He was the classs clown and too cool for words. But we feel for each other hard. Then I moved 2 years later. 5 years after that was when I saw him in 1997. Nothing since.)

Help me make sense of this. Does everyone feel this way about someone from the past? Do we all longingly romanticise for years and years? Does this mean I should contact him or try to - or does this just make me normal?

Well let's see, mine started in 8th grade, I moved away in 11th grade, then moved back here last year after college...we became more than friends...and now we're back to friends (check out my other thread in here...). But we always stayed in touch and have always been very close friends. She wouldn't have anything to do with me romantically back in 8th grade though.

 

[LarryMullen's POPAngel]

I have had some feelings like this in the past. Not sure if it's completely normal or not, but my thinking is, we all seem to want to go back in time at certain parts of our lives, so this might be what it is. Then again, I can't tell you how you feel.

I wish I could have been more help, Noodle.

 

[Sicy]

When you meet the right person, the past doesnt seem to matter anymore. At least in my case. Maybe its a sign that you're not completely happy in your current situation.

I know I'm not much help.

 

[joyfulgirl]

When you meet the right person, the past doesnt seem to matter anymore.

listen to Sicy

Don't listen to me. Because my first love and I reconnected about 3 years ago by email. This is the guy that turned me on to U2 when he brought home "Boy" from the record store he was working in. So this was a loonng time ago. Anyway, we sorta never got over each other. He told me his wife had been living in my shadow for 10 years and he STILL thinks about me all the time and has fantasies about leaving his wife and getting back with me. It made him crazy to learn that I'm available. BUT, the last thing I want is a man on the run from an unhappy marriage. Still, it brought up a lot of stuff as you can imagine.

Anyway, thing is, those first loves are special I think because we had not yet become jaded. Everything seems possible when you're that young and full of romantic notions about happily ever after. But the reasons we all broke up with our first loves are probably still the same reasons it wouldn't work out again.

However, I do know a 72 year old woman who finally just married her high school crush. So anything's possible!

 

[famous rungi]

Oh, so first love doesn't mean first crush, it means first reciprocated love, eh. My very first crush was in kindergarten and lasted until I was 17, probably. I met up with him years after not seeing him, and the boyish charm that drew me to him in the past had matured into a skirt-chasing ladies' man. My first reciprocated crush went koo-koo (literally crazy, he was unstable to begin with) after I was forced to reject him but that's another story I'd rather not share

 

[Angel]

I'd have to second what Sicy said........ it could be you can't get him out of your mind due to the fact that you are not content at the moment? I am no expert, but I will tell you that there has been a certain person I have longed for for the passed three years.... not a first love, but a love I never got over.... until now. The problem with not seeing these people that we hold unresolved feelings for, is in their absence we tend to idealize them in ways that are usually quite unrealistic. Maybe what you need is to meet up with him again, and you could very well find that what has been haunting you has been only a dream. Or... you may find that he is the love or your life. I don't know. What I do know is April is also right in saying that we tend to want to go back in time to certain parts of our life at times and well, it's not always what we remember.
This is by no means meant to be as negative as perhaps it sounds. Just really think long and hard before taking action, in risk of ruining something that might be really great around you right now.

 

[cass]

D.A.V.I.D

I think it's quite a common thing to carry a flame, quite, keeps a lot of people warm at night.
And on occassion the story does unfold that a couple will "find" one another again. It's amazing how many married women I know who have the story of some silly little incident( or sometimes parents interfering, withholding letters etc.) that broke-up their childhood/teenage romance. And so many of them still dream about HIM. I only know one woman who has got back with her teenage love after being marryied someone else for years. The teenage love is now mistreating her. That's not very encouraging eh?

I think you should look for an opportunity to meet, so you can explore your feelings, as they seem to be very stong. But try to view things in the present, not from the warmth of the past.

I don't know much about love...just wanted to say good luck and thanks for what you do here Hello Angel.

 

[BAW]

it could be you can't get him out of your mind due to the fact that you are not content at the moment?

That's usually the case.

 

[She Is Raging]

Sicy... you said it!

I ran into my ex a few weeks ago - totally by surprise, I didnt even realize he was back in town, he had been for almost a year now. I was with my boyfriend at the time, and I introduced them etc... blah blah blah. If this had been a year ago - I probably would have had a meltdown. But, it really didnt phase me at all...and I know it's because I've found someone that makes me forget the other bad times. (I know... corny!)