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Lil'Bono

War Child
Joined
Mar 31, 2004
Messages
531
Location
The shitty half of Ireland!!
I did a really stupid thing last night and i can't stop thinking about it. It might not seem too serious to you guys but its really bothering me, as it's not something I would usually do.


Every Saturday night my brother and his friends sit in my house and get drunk, just like most fellas their age would. I try to stay out of their road but my brother's best friend always comes up to my bedroom to talk to me. I didn't think much about it until last night, as me and him used to be really good friends when we were younger. He comes up and talks to me a lot and usually asks to borrow some cds off me, and last night wasn't really that different. He said that it was a shame me and him weren't so close anymore and maybe we could hang out sometime and listen to some music.

Later on last night, him and the rest of my brothers friends went out , but about ten minutes later my brother's mate came back down to my house and we hung out for a while. We listened to some music up in my room, talked about how things used to be and just had a laugh really, I can't really remember how it happened, but we ended up kissing. We were getting pretty heavy and my brother caught us, he never said anything, he just went to bed. The thing is this is really bothering me because I'm not like this, I've never been like this, I feel like a slut, we didnt have sex or do anything like that but I feel so shite!!! I'm also afraid of my brother telling my mum that we were up in my bedroom, because I know she'll assume the worst!

I feel like I led my brother's friend on and now I feel bad about it, I told him last night that we should just be friends, that I wasn't ready for commitment, but he said he'd just keep trying until I changed my mind. He's a really nice guy and I do really like him, but the thing is, he's only 16 and I'm 19. I'm leaving for university in september and if we go out I'll be leaving him behind, which just isn't fair on him, because I'll hardly ever be home and when I am I'll never have time to spend with him.

He said that we could forget last night happened but I can't and I know he won't, because he told me he's wanted to be with me from the day we met, 6 years ago.

We're all going out on St.Paddy's, all my mates and my brother's mates and I'm afraid of things being weird between me and him. I dont know if i should stay at home on Paddy's night and try to avoid him, or just act like nothing ever happened.
 
First of all don't blame yourself for what happened. From what I have gathered your brother's friend really liked you. So seems to me that what happened is mutual. Remember it was ONLY kissing and it didn't lead to anything else. Things like this happen and Im sorry that you are feeling so much guilt over it. Your friend will just have to honor your feelings about not wanting to be with him. You are only 19 and you still have a lot of life ahead of you. Going off to the University too you may find someone closer in your age. So if this friend truly cares for you this much than he will want what is best for both of you.

As for going out on St Paddy's day I say you should still go. Other people will be there so it's not like you have to spend all of your time together. Being surrounded by others could help with the uncomfortableness if you are feeling any. Good luck I hope things work out for you :hug:
 
I agree with what BonosBaby said. If he really cares for you, he should respect whatever decision you make.

I had a very similar situation when I was 16, and the guy was 19. I won't go into any of the details here, but if you would like to know more, feel free to PM or email me.

You're still young, and have so much more of life ahead of you.

It may be uncomfortable for a while, but talk it out and be honest. Don't act like nothing happened. Communication is the most important thing in any kind of relationship. I can't say that enough - communicate!

I wish you all the best, and hope that everything will work out well! :hug:
 
Chalk it to a moment and look forward to going to school and meeting other guys. Just let everyone know that its not anything serious and won't be. Don't feel so bad, maybe he was looking for some freebie, you know what I mean...:scratch:
 
I agree with what the others say here. Don't beat yourself up about it feeling guilty because it takes two. These things happen and it sounds so innocent anyway, so far. As Thora said above, communication is so important and if you feel you need to say things to people like your brother, your mother, other friends, then by all means do so but no apologies, you really didn't do anything wrong from what you post. It's dealing with feelings and emptions which in teens can be very intense. Go have fun at the St Pat's celebration and keep things on friendly terms. If this mate wants to talk explain the situation from your perspective and if he truly cares about you as a friend or otherwise he will first respect you. I also feel you should plan to go off to university with no ties and enjoy that period in your life. Chances are you will meet a fellow classmate your own age.

I had something similar happen with a guy I liked who took up with my sister and if you'd like to know how that affected our relationships, feel free to PM or email me and I am happy to share with you. Your relationship with your family and with your brother is more important than one with a friend, albeit a friend of your brothers you might become involved with.

Good luck!
 
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