Lil'Bono
War Child
I did a really stupid thing last night and i can't stop thinking about it. It might not seem too serious to you guys but its really bothering me, as it's not something I would usually do.
Every Saturday night my brother and his friends sit in my house and get drunk, just like most fellas their age would. I try to stay out of their road but my brother's best friend always comes up to my bedroom to talk to me. I didn't think much about it until last night, as me and him used to be really good friends when we were younger. He comes up and talks to me a lot and usually asks to borrow some cds off me, and last night wasn't really that different. He said that it was a shame me and him weren't so close anymore and maybe we could hang out sometime and listen to some music.
Later on last night, him and the rest of my brothers friends went out , but about ten minutes later my brother's mate came back down to my house and we hung out for a while. We listened to some music up in my room, talked about how things used to be and just had a laugh really, I can't really remember how it happened, but we ended up kissing. We were getting pretty heavy and my brother caught us, he never said anything, he just went to bed. The thing is this is really bothering me because I'm not like this, I've never been like this, I feel like a slut, we didnt have sex or do anything like that but I feel so shite!!! I'm also afraid of my brother telling my mum that we were up in my bedroom, because I know she'll assume the worst!
I feel like I led my brother's friend on and now I feel bad about it, I told him last night that we should just be friends, that I wasn't ready for commitment, but he said he'd just keep trying until I changed my mind. He's a really nice guy and I do really like him, but the thing is, he's only 16 and I'm 19. I'm leaving for university in september and if we go out I'll be leaving him behind, which just isn't fair on him, because I'll hardly ever be home and when I am I'll never have time to spend with him.
He said that we could forget last night happened but I can't and I know he won't, because he told me he's wanted to be with me from the day we met, 6 years ago.
We're all going out on St.Paddy's, all my mates and my brother's mates and I'm afraid of things being weird between me and him. I dont know if i should stay at home on Paddy's night and try to avoid him, or just act like nothing ever happened.
Every Saturday night my brother and his friends sit in my house and get drunk, just like most fellas their age would. I try to stay out of their road but my brother's best friend always comes up to my bedroom to talk to me. I didn't think much about it until last night, as me and him used to be really good friends when we were younger. He comes up and talks to me a lot and usually asks to borrow some cds off me, and last night wasn't really that different. He said that it was a shame me and him weren't so close anymore and maybe we could hang out sometime and listen to some music.
Later on last night, him and the rest of my brothers friends went out , but about ten minutes later my brother's mate came back down to my house and we hung out for a while. We listened to some music up in my room, talked about how things used to be and just had a laugh really, I can't really remember how it happened, but we ended up kissing. We were getting pretty heavy and my brother caught us, he never said anything, he just went to bed. The thing is this is really bothering me because I'm not like this, I've never been like this, I feel like a slut, we didnt have sex or do anything like that but I feel so shite!!! I'm also afraid of my brother telling my mum that we were up in my bedroom, because I know she'll assume the worst!
I feel like I led my brother's friend on and now I feel bad about it, I told him last night that we should just be friends, that I wasn't ready for commitment, but he said he'd just keep trying until I changed my mind. He's a really nice guy and I do really like him, but the thing is, he's only 16 and I'm 19. I'm leaving for university in september and if we go out I'll be leaving him behind, which just isn't fair on him, because I'll hardly ever be home and when I am I'll never have time to spend with him.
He said that we could forget last night happened but I can't and I know he won't, because he told me he's wanted to be with me from the day we met, 6 years ago.
We're all going out on St.Paddy's, all my mates and my brother's mates and I'm afraid of things being weird between me and him. I dont know if i should stay at home on Paddy's night and try to avoid him, or just act like nothing ever happened.