Ever freak someone out by saying the "L" word before they're comforatble with it?

[UnforgettableLemon]

Ever freak someone out by saying the "L" word before they're comforatble with it?

Yeah, I just really freaked Col out. Oh boy. She didn't run out of the room in terror, thankfully. She actually stuck around a good bit longer. But yeah, she wasn't ready to hear me say that. And I respect and understand that. I told her no expectations, just take it for what it is. I just hope she doesn't shun me

 

[MissVelvetDress_75]

awww

 

[Sicy]

How long have you been dating?

 

[UnforgettableLemon]

Complicated question. We started seeing each other last summer, but she left the country. We stayed in touch, and basically picked up where we left off but knowing each other a lot better once she got back in December. So 6 or 3 months, depending on how you look at it

 

[dandy]

UL

your girl Colleen could be my long lost twin sister with the commitment-phobia and panic at hearing the l-word. i'm just the same way, and i've inadvertently caused a couple of boys anxiety similar to yours.

from your posts, it seems that things have been going really well for you two since she's been back from her world adventure. i don't think you need to worry about her "shunning" you, but she may need a little time and space of her own to take this in and process how she feels about things. be patient with her, even though it's not the easiest thing for you to do.

hey, you can't blame a girl for being a little freaked--it's not often we're lucky enough to stumble across an emotionally available guy.

 

[UnforgettableLemon]

You know.... I really do fucking hate myself sometimes. Really do.

 

[Doozer61]

UL


in my current relationship, we developed a "deep, deep affection" for each other before i could say that word.

 

[UnforgettableLemon]

It doesn't bother me that she's not ready to say it, or to hear it. The thought of her panicking and leaving me is what bothers me.

 

[LarryMullen's POPAngel]

 

[indra]

When I read the title of this thread I thought for sure the L word was gonna be "liberal"! And I was wondering why someone would freak out 'cause you called her a liberal. Guess I spend too much time in FYM.

I'm not much help on the actual topic though...I'm clueless in the love department.

 

[KhanadaRhodes]

i thought the word was lesbian!

 

[Needle_Chill]

I did the exact same thing with my girlfriend. We had been dating for about 2 months at the time, and she wasn't comfortable with it. I don't regret saying it, because it opened up what I was feeling to her. I did actually feel it at the time (even though 2 months is not very long), and it was not a gimmick. I've been in love with her since our first date, lol.

Now we have been going out for almost 8 months and we are both totally comfortable with saying it and both feel it.

She first said it to me two months ago, and it was the greatest moment of my life.

The only advice I can give you is to follow through with your feelings, but don't pressure her to reveal her feelings (whatever they may be) until she's ready. Until then, just make sure you support her and make yourself someone she can love and trust.

 

[UnforgettableLemon]

Yeah... it's just this period is so awkward. I think she thinks I'm reacting to her reaction... I'm more just kicking myself for saying it at all. She's a wonderful person. I really can say there's no one else quite like her. Quirks and charms, and just a good soul. I'll wait for her, I just hope she doesn't freak out and avoid me altogether.

 

[MrsSpringsteen]

She's a wonderful person. I really can say there's no one else quite like her. Quirks and charms, and just a good soul.

I don't know how she could freak out when you think that way and talk that way about her. That would sure make me smile

 

[UnforgettableLemon]

Because she's terrified of commitment. Even though I told her I didn't expect her to say anything back, it puts a good bit of pressure on her.

 

[U2Kitten]

She doesn't know how lucky she is.

 

[UnforgettableLemon]

Well, after the play read-through tonight, we walked home together. She told me she accepts how i feel about her, she really cares about me, but she's not ready for those words just yet. She said it'll take her longer to come around, she's very defensive, and those words leave you very vulnerable. Then we just chatted, got to her house, kissed good night, and everything's good again. Very happy.

 

[MissVelvetDress_75]

 

[dandy]

glad to hear it!

 

[MrsSpringsteen]

Sounds like you're very understanding and sensitive, and that's just what she needs

Just take your time and keep being yourself

 

[Needle_Chill]

Right on!