Euthanasia guilt

[stray dog]

I had to put my beautiful 11 yr old shetland sheep dog to sleep yesterday. It was the hardest thing I ever have done. I named her Bonnie after Bono(i was gonna get a male but i changed my mind) and she had been my running partner and best friend for the past eleven years...she was diagnosed with lung cancer and her health had rapidly declined...I held her as the vet injected her...she went very peacefully but for some reason I am feeling guilty as hell...It all got me thinking about why we can do this to our pets but some human being that is dying a painful death must endure it...what is your opinion on euthanasia for human beings what with the Florida case and all...

 

[clarityat3am]

You shouldn't feel guilty. I'm happy that you weren't selfish by trying to keep her alive to make yourself happy. You did what was best even though it was difficult.

 

[indra]

So sorry to hear about your beloved Bonnie. It's so hard to put an animal you love to sleep, yet it is often the kindest thing you can do. I had to put my cat Earl to sleep a few weeks ago (he had a tumor on his spine)...it was horrible, and yet I'm pleased that he doesn't have to suffer any more (because he was). I always feel rather disconnected with the rest of the world for a while after one of my animals dies...it's part of the grieving process.

Why don't we do it for people? I don't think there should be such a taboo on euthanasia, as I do feel that people (the culture) need to learn to accept that death is natural and sometimes, no matter how much we try, there is no way of making a person well. However, I've heard various reasons to be cautious when thinking about legalizing euthanasia.

1) people have recovered from illnesses and injuries thought terminal or permanent

2) who decides what a "good quality of life" is and when do you allow people to make the decision? I remember hearing the Christopher Reeves said he wanted to die shortly after he was paralyzed, yet his feelings changed and he did find great value in his life. So although he felt his life was over shortly after his accident, he soon realized he had a lot to live for. And I take care of my aunt who is profoundly retarded. I make pretty much all her decisions. She needs constant care and will never really "accomplish" anything in life, but who am I (or anyone else) to say she isn't enjoying her life?

3) people who are ill or injured or simply elderly might feel pressured to request euthanasia because the don't want to be a "burden" on anyone.

I do think euthanasia can be both compassionate and welcome, yet I think we also need to really think about all possible ramifications. Plus I think that we need to do much more in the way of pain relief/control for terminally/chronically ill patients. We seem to think there is glory in suffering. I think allowing needless suffering is unconscionable.

 

[stray dog]

So sorry to hear about your beloved Bonnie. It's so hard to put an animal you love to sleep, yet it is often the kindest thing you can do. I had to put my cat Earl to sleep a few weeks ago (he had a tumor on his spine)...it was horrible, and yet I'm pleased that he doesn't have to suffer any more (because he was). I always feel rather disconnected with the rest of the world for a while after one of my animals dies...it's part of the grieving process.

Why don't we do it for people? I don't think there should be such a taboo on euthanasia, as I do feel that people (the culture) need to learn to accept that death is natural and sometimes, no matter how much we try, there is no way of making a person well. However, I've heard various reasons to be cautious when thinking about legalizing euthanasia.

1) people have recovered from illnesses and injuries thought terminal or permanent

2) who decides what a "good quality of life" is and when do you allow people to make the decision? I remember hearing the Christopher Reeves said he wanted to die shortly after he was paralyzed, yet his feelings changed and he did find great value in his life. So although he felt his life was over shortly after his accident, he soon realized he had a lot to live for. And I take care of my aunt who is profoundly retarded. I make pretty much all her decisions. She needs constant care and will never really "accomplish" anything in life, but who am I (or anyone else) to say she isn't enjoying her life?

3) people who are ill or injured or simply elderly might feel pressured to request euthanasia because the don't want to be a "burden" on anyone.

I do think euthanasia can be both compassionate and welcome, yet I think we also need to really think about all possible ramifications. Plus I think that we need to do much more in the way of pain relief/control for terminally/chronically ill patients. We seem to think there is glory in suffering. I think allowing needless suffering is unconscionable.

this is so well thought out...thank you for your imput

 

[pax]

moving to ZC.

 

[Muggsy]

s

 

[Sicy]

Dont feel guilty. Sometimes its the best thing for them. You dont want them to suffer

 

[KhanadaRhodes]

You shouldn't feel guilty. I'm happy that you weren't selfish by trying to keep her alive to make yourself happy. You did what was best even though it was difficult.

i agree. the last thing you should feel is guilty. bonnie's now in a better place.

 

[nathan1977]

2) who decides what a "good quality of life" is and when do you allow people to make the decision? I remember hearing the Christopher Reeves said he wanted to die shortly after he was paralyzed, yet his feelings changed and he did find great value in his life. So although he felt his life was over shortly after his accident, he soon realized he had a lot to live for. And I take care of my aunt who is profoundly retarded. I make pretty much all her decisions. She needs constant care and will never really "accomplish" anything in life, but who am I (or anyone else) to say she isn't enjoying her life?

I agree, Indra. Both my uncle and aunt are mentally handicapped. They are each models of love, both gentle and patient, and I find tremendous joy in watching them discover things about life that I take for granted. They were the first ones in my family to find God, and have been the ones to inspire faith, hope, and love in the rest of the family.

The rest of the world might not find them very functional, and thus not very "valuable", but what they've contributed to my life and my family cannot be measured.

 

[susanp6]

Awwwww - I feel for you stray dog, i really do!

That's so sad&awful for you. I'm such an animal lover&hate the idea of any animal suffering.

 

[lauren430]

I think you did the right thing as hard as that is.

 

[sallycinnamon78]

Oh God. When it comes to human beings... I guess I'm not in the best position to be objective so I won't even try. I'm a bit lost for words... can't say much else right now really, haven't slept for 32 hours, and this is a bloody hard subject to deal with right now all things considered.

I do understand what you're going through and I know loads of other people here do too.

Apart from all that, we had a cat for 14 years - more than half of my life.He was a member of the family, like your Bonnie was to you. We had to have him put to sleep because his kidneys failed... he was in so much pain and couldn't walk. We loved him dearly and losing him hurt so much - but it would have been so much worse to see him suffer and slowly die in all that pain.

You did the right thing - the kindest and most loving action you could have taken. Which makes you a decent, unselfish, caring person with a big heart. I know it's pointless for me, or anyone else, to tell you not to feel guilty... even though you've done nothing wrong. So, really, dunno what else to say but and if you need someone to chat to feel free to give me a shout anytime.

 

[stray dog]

Thanks for the hugs everyone.

 

[tiny dancer]

I'm sorry for what you had to do.

 

[bonosloveslave]

I deal with this pretty much on a daily basis (cat vet) -

In some cases euthanasia is a blessing, especially when nothing more can be done and they are feeling awful - sadly some people get a romantic idea about their pets "dying in their sleep" - that fundamentally translates to dying of dehydration or starvation, not a pleasant way to go.

In some cases it makes me sad that it is an option, for example when the animal could make it with care but the owner won't spend the money, because "it's just an animal".

You are the one that spent the most time with her, you knew that she was hurting and not following her usual routine. It is a hard choice, and it sounds a bit cliche, but it really is the last nice thing we can do for them when the time has come. Her last moments were with you by her side, I don't think she would have wanted it any other way

 

[She Is Raging]

I hope that this doesn't come off as tacky, but I always thought that this was a nice poem for someone who has lost a pet. I cry everytime I read it!

I'm so sorry for the loss of your pet. I've been through the same thing - there's no easy way to it. You know better than anyone else what was right for you dog, don't question yourself!



THE RAINBOW BRIDGE Author Unknown

By the edge of a woods, at the foot of a hill,
Is a lush, green meadow where time stands still.
Where the friends of man and woman do run,
When their time on earth is over and done.


For here, between this world and the next,
Is a place where each beloved creature finds rest.
On this golden land, they wait and they play,
Till the Rainbow Bridge they cross over one day.


No more do they suffer, in pain or in sadness,
For here they are whole, their lives filled with gladness.
Their limbs are restored, their health renewed,
Their bodies have healed, with strength imbued.


They romp through the grass, without even a care,
Until one day they start, and sniff at the air.
All ears prick forward, eyes dart front and back,
Then all of a sudden, one breaks from the pack.


For just at that instant, their eyes have met;
Together again, both person and pet.
So they run to each other, these friends from long past,
The time of their parting is over at last.


The sadness they felt while they were apart,
Has turned into joy once more in each heart.
They embrace with a love that will last forever,
And then, side-by-side, they cross over… together

 

[stray dog]

ty raging

 

[Sicy]

The rainbow bridge poem makes me cry every time I read it

 

[indra]

The rainbow bridge poem makes me cry every time I read it

That one and one my vet gives out when you have a pet put to sleep (I think it's called "A pet's prayer") always do it for me.

 

[LoveTown]

you did the right thing for your beloved friend. You ended her suffering

as for the Florida case, it horrifies me that they are going to allow a woman that obviously has some motor skills and sensations to slowly starve to death. Starving is an extremely painful way to die. It could take up to two weeks for her to die. I want to know how ANYBODY could consider this humane? If a couple had a baby that was born with mental retardation and they didn't feed it, they would be locked up and called monsters. However, essentially this woman has a severe brain injury which is quiet similar to mental retardation.

I really wish this world had as much compassion for people as we do our pets....

 

[wolfeden]

stray I hear you, so loudly.

 

[~BrightestStar~]

Aww Stray, is this what you were upset about the other day?
I'm so sorry
But don't feel guilty, you did what was best for her.

 

[stray dog]

you did the right thing for your beloved friend. You ended her suffering

as for the Florida case, it horrifies me that they are going to allow a woman that obviously has some motor skills and sensations to slowly starve to death. Starving is an extremely painful way to die. It could take up to two weeks for her to die. I want to know how ANYBODY could consider this humane? If a couple had a baby that was born with mental retardation and they didn't feed it, they would be locked up and called monsters. However, essentially this woman has a severe brain injury which is quiet similar to mental retardation.

I really wish this world had as much compassion for people as we do our pets....

ty lovetown....generally speaking I have found people who love animals to be people lovers as well...

 

[stray dog]

Yes brightest, that was a bad day for me...

 

[LoveTown]

you are welcome stray, and yes, you are right, animal lovers tend to have very big and loving hearts for all living beings

 

[anitram]

I'm very sorry to hear about your loss. It's incredibly difficult, beyond words really.

As somebody who has had to make that decision before, it's hard because you know logically you are making the right choice, but it's still something else to have it happen before your eyes.

It's never just a pet or just a dog or just a cat. My Collie was so much more and I'm sure your dog was as well.

 

[stray dog]

I still miss my Bonnie.

 

[MsPurrl]

I do empathise with you, stray dog. In January 2005, our 20-1/2-year-old cat Miss Purrl was diagnosed with gum cancer that had eaten all the way into her nose and was making her nose bleed. She was also in mid-stage kidney failure. There was no hope that she would get better, so we made the tough decision to let her go. We held her while she was injected, and I'm still hoping SO much that she didn't feel any pain and just faded to black. I still miss her every day. We have four other cats now, whom I love dearly; and I know that it is likely that they will reach the same point, for one reason or another, someday. Our fierce little calico Callie is 11; our big ginger boy Fergus is 9; and the little sisters Bronwyn and Finnula are 3. I hug them every day and let them know how much they are loved. My heart goes out to you.

 

[VintagePunk]

stray dog, like you and MsPurrl, I've been through this as well, and probably feel similarly. Probably a year after you lost Bonnie, we made the decision to euthanize our dog Kelly - she was a 12 year old lab who developed cancer. The vet sounded optimistic at first, and said that they could perform a surgery that would cost a minimum of $3,000. I went home devastated and considering it, and then spoke with bonosloveslave, a mod here who replied to your thread ages ago. She told me the right questions to ask of my vet, and when I realized that the prognosis was very bad for a dog who had reached her lifespan for her breed, and that keeping her alive would just be artifically prolonging her paid, we made the decision to have her euthanized. Could she have lasted longer with the surgery? Maybe. But her quality of life would have been greatly diminished, so I felt like we made the right decision. So why were we so devastated after? I think it's the combination of losing someone who gave you unconditional love, while wondering if you made the right decision, and there being no definitive way to know that you did. But you know what? If you have agonized and hurt over it for years, you did do the right thing.

Right after, people kept saying we should get another dog. My daughter said that she wanted to punch anyone who suggested that, as though Kelly could be replaced. We didn't get another dog. Then nearly two years later, a stray cat appeared at our door. I loved her right away. My daughter took a bit longer, felt like she was being disloyal to Kelly by being attached to another pet. But, we took her in. And about 7 weeks later, she had a litter of 6. We fell in love with them, and now we have 7 cats. But we still love Kelly, she'll never be replaced.