Drinking

[Renne]

Sometimes people have trouble accepting that when I say "no" to them buying me something alcoholic, I actually mean "no".

It's reached the point where the only people I'll go out for on a night on the town with is those of my friends who I know understand why I don't drink anymore, and while they might offer to buy me something, they'll also accept without question if I just want water or soft drink.

I don't want to have to stop and explain why I don't drink anymore every time someone pressures me into having a drink. I mean, half the time they don't even say okay when I say no, they put the full peer pressure thing in action. You know, "Come onnnn, you know you want to."

No, actually, I don't. I don't do peer pressure.

Accept it that when I say no, I mean no. I don't mean "if you bug me about it, I'll say 'sure!' to shut you up." And the rare times I will have a drink? I do on my own terms.

People frustrate me.

 

[Mr. BAW]

I admire your stand... No means No in all languages!

 

[dandy]

this is also one of my biggest annoyances. a lot of people are uncomfortable around people who don't drink--they want everyone around to be drinking with them, so they don't have to wonder about whether or not they have a drinking problem/are behaving inappropriately/being a drunken jackass...

kudos to you for sticking to your guns.

 

[U2democrat]

i've been invited to several drinking parties (i'm 18 most of my friends are still 17) and i've refused to go to all. i dont want to be around the temptation to do something stupid and i don't want to see my friends wasted. it frustrates me that they need an alcoholic substance in order to have fun. i'd rather be under my own control and figure out my own creative ways to have fun.

 

[If you shout...]

Hey, just tough it out as best you can: that's all I can really tell you, unfortunately. It sounds like you're doing all right...

I have Type 1 Diabetes, so I can't drink even if I want to (and I don't, for the record--filthy habit, that). Even though it isn't really my choice, though, people are VERY uncomfortable when they're drinking and I'm around; I've even lost some very shallow friends because of it. I don't know exactly what motivates it, but people really do seem to get CRAZY-STYLE uncomfortable when drinking around those who don't/can't/won't. I'm now 22, and it's been like this for YEARS, now.

I find it amazing, too, just how tough it is to meet people on a college campus without drinking. Everyone I know who drinks has a TON of friends (though many of them superficial) and everyone I know who doesn't drink has VERY few friends (on campus, at least). It's a huge problem for me, cuz if you don't drink here at the University of Illinois (America's #3 party school, so you know), you can't meet ANYONE. ...And it isn't all that fun to just tag along and watch your friends get fucking hammered, either. I get by, but it can, indeed, get tough...

 

[Renne]

Thanks.

It really annoys me the assumption some people have that you have to be completely ratted off your nut to have any kind of fun.

Sober does not have to equal dull and boring. I'm living proof of that!

Plus: drinking parties? What, the whole point is to get together and get drunk?

 

[Renne]

...And it isn't all that fun to just tag along and watch your friends get fucking hammered, either.

Exactly. You know, people having a few drinks is fine, but hen they drink for the whole purpose of what, vomiting their stomach lining up? I have no respect for that kind of behaviour.

Especially when it's people you know who are old enough to know better.

 

[U2democrat]

Plus: drinking parties? What, the whole point is to get together and get drunk?

Unfortunately yes. How they don't get caught i just don't know. For several of my friends the only times they have been kissed it's because they were drunk. I've never been kissed but i'm not about to get wasted in order for that to happen.

 

[beli]

I had the same issue at Uni. I joined Amnesty and Greenpeace. That seemed to be where the sober people were. Okay theres a bit more a "smoking" culture at Greenpeace but I found that easier to navigate than the "Pissed, mate? I was blotto!!!!" crowd.

 

[lauren430]

Way to stick to your guns guys, and wow, U2democrat, that is kind of sad about your friends only getting kissed while drunk! You want your first kiss to be kind of special so you're definitely doing the right thing!

 

[fah]

Saboteurs calling themselves friends are everywhere. I run into this all the time as I am trying to lose weight. Congrats for saying no.

 

[celia]

Good for you, It must be really annoying when people keep saying go on you know you want one...

how the hell would they know.

Good on you!

 

[verte76]

It pisses me off when I'm expected to have a drink, but I haven't been in that position in years. I'm really not supposed to drink on top of my medication. If someone doesn't get that, tough luck.

 

[Laura M]

Hey, just tough it out as best you can: that's all I can really tell you, unfortunately. It sounds like you're doing all right...

I have Type 1 Diabetes, so I can't drink even if I want to (and I don't, for the record--filthy habit, that). Even though it isn't really my choice, though, people are VERY uncomfortable when they're drinking and I'm around; I've even lost some very shallow friends because of it. I don't know exactly what motivates it, but people really do seem to get CRAZY-STYLE uncomfortable when drinking around those who don't/can't/won't. I'm now 22, and it's been like this for YEARS, now.

I find it amazing, too, just how tough it is to meet people on a college campus without drinking. Everyone I know who drinks has a TON of friends (though many of them superficial) and everyone I know who doesn't drink has VERY few friends (on campus, at least). It's a huge problem for me, cuz if you don't drink here at the University of Illinois (America's #3 party school, so you know), you can't meet ANYONE. ...And it isn't all that fun to just tag along and watch your friends get fucking hammered, either. I get by, but it can, indeed, get tough...

I go out most weekends, sometimes I drink, sometimes I don't. Sometimes one of my friends will decide not to drink. One of them decided not to drink for almost 2 years. It's never a big deal and nobody ever mentions it. I find it strange that people have friends who would force them into trying to have a drink.

My sister is a type one diabetic and she doesn't drink either, I don't think anyone has ever asked why she hasn't drank anytime I have brought her out.

Ireland isn't exactly the type of place where people don't drink like but most people here just enjoy a night out. Drinking or no drinking. What pisses me off is when I go into class and one of the christian people (there are a lot of Christian people that I really like in my classes though) ask me if I went out at the weekend and if I say I went to pub x to meet a friend for a glass of wine they say they don't associate with people who go to pubs because they are all alcoholics and drug addicts and they go to youth groups where there is no smoking or drinking.

If I want a drink I'll have one, it's not like I've ever looked down my nose at a person who chooses not to drink.

 

[Lil'Bono]

Good for you, i went through this stage a while ago where i wouldn't drink, because i got down in the dumps about stuff and my so called friends never even invited me out because ''i'd went all weird on them''!! Sadly, things are still bothering me and now i drink to drown my sorrows!! Which i'm doing at the moment!!
I really want to stop drinking so i really respect you for what you are doing. I don't see the point and going out and getting totally pissed and have some guy take liberties, and then wake up feeling like shit the next day!!
Sorry, i'm rambling!! But good for you!!

 

[verte76]

Alcohol is a depressant. That's enough to make me avoid the stuff.

 

[U2democrat]

Alcohol is a depressant. That's enough to make me avoid the stuff.

really? i didn't know that. there are about 200000 reasons for me to avoid the stuff. tastes nasty, it makes you lose control, makes you feel sick, too much is bad for you, alcoholism is in my family, etc etc.

 

[Liesje]

Without even scratching the surface of a moral debate....drinking is expensive! That's all that concerns me as of yet, being a poor college student attending an expensive private school with zero parental support. Oh, and I only turned 20 this fall.

 

[verte76]

Yeah, it's a depressant. I also have alcoholism in my family. I agree about the taste, the stuff tastes pretty damned awful.

 

[anitram]

I honestly have no moral issues with it, apart from hating the smell of beer on drunken men as I have negative associations with it, but I hate the taste. If I'm in company, like at a formal party, I'll suck it up and have wine or something, but otherwise, I don't want it and I absolutely loathe the implication that I should just get loaded once in a while. No thanks.

 

[bsp77]

Ok, I am going to play Devil's Advocate here. Sometimes it can make me nervous when people do not drink. I like to have one or two drinks regularly but rarely get drunk anymore. I did that enough in college and it can be rather stupid and dangerous.

However, a lot of people that do not drink tend to seem to act morally superior to people that do, and that pisses me off. Why would someone act above me because I have two beers at a party or two glasses of wine at dinner? I don't smoke, I try to eat well, don't sleep around and I try to exercise. I am overall very healthy and have my drinking under complete control.

I am not saying everyone who does not drink is like this. Especially people who can not drink for health reasons (diabetes, medication), but I have known many people who do act superior. So because of this I do wonder why people are not drinking.

Oh, and I do like the taste of alcohol. Good beer (not the typical American shit), good wine and mixed drinks made with high quality spirits. Yes, it is expensive, but it is quality not quantity. For those who say they do not like the taste, have you ever had good beer or wine?

 

[U2democrat]

in my case those who drink feel superior to me because they feel like i'm a 'goody two-shoes' and am not cool enough to drink and scaredy etc. i think it all depends on the situation you're in.

 

[bsp77]

in my case those who drink feel superior to me because they feel like i'm a 'goody two-shoes' and am not cool enough to drink and scaredy etc. i think it all depends on the situation you're in.

Yeah, that can be true, especially in high school. Don't drink if you don't want to. I just think people should do what they want and not get criticized either way (as long as they are not hurting anybody, such as drinking and driving).

 

[UnforgettableLemon]

I admire your stand... No means No in all languages!

But "ne" means "yes" in greek



Yeah, people seem to have a hard time respecting others' (lack of) drinking habits

 

[dandy]

what drives me up the wall most about these types of situations is that certain people feel that i need a reason why i'm not drinking, and that i have to share that reason with them. i resent being hassled because my response of 'no, thanks, none for me tonight' is insufficient in some people's eyes. to avoid this scenario, i go out of my way to be the designated driver. this seems to be the only reason for not drinking that people respect.

i don't drink much anymore, mostly for health concerns. i hate feeling hungover because i had a couple of glasses of wine. i don't get happy and energetic when i drink, i get cranky and argumentative (moreso than when i'm sober, i've been told ). it's a mind altering drug, and i do worry about the effects of my younger years when i was a big party girl. the older i get, the less tolerance i have for drunk people--i can't say it enhances anyone's personality (even though we all think we're absolutely charming when we're smashed). if that makes me seem like one of those morally superior snobs, so be it. it's not a moral judgment, it's a factual observation. if you want to drink, that's fine by me. if i don't want to drink, that should be equally fine, too.

 

[U2democrat]

what drives me up the wall most about these types of situations is that certain people feel that i need a reason why i'm not drinking, and that i have to share that reason with them. i resent being hassled because my response of 'no, thanks, none for me tonight' is insufficient in some people's eyes. to avoid this scenario, i go out of my way to be the designated driver. this seems to be the only reason for not drinking that people respect.

i feel ya, dandy. not to mention at the high school age absolutely too many people get killed when drinking and driving. and as i have mentioned in a previous post one of my friends lost her virginity (she's 17) to a guy when she was drunk. people drinking i don't mind. people getting drunk for the hell of i ti do mind.

 

[Headache in a Suitcase]

i like it when my friends don't want me to buy them drinks 'cause i save money...

"I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day."
-Francis Albert Sinatra

If you don't want to drink, that's fine... I have no problem with that at all. whatever the reason is... be it alcoholism, ya don't like it, or ya just don't feel like it... fine. go nuts.

i don't drink as much as i did in college. frankly, when you work full time, going through the day hungover isn't as appealing as it was when all i had to do was get to a few classes and sleep the rest of the day.

i don't drink every day... i can have just one drink at dinner and leave it at that, and i certainly don't need alcohol to keep myself entertained... but yea... every now and then, especially when i have nothing to do the next day, i just feel like going out with some friends and getting absolutely shit canned. why? 'cause it's fun... 'cause i enjoy myself. it lets a part of you out that rarely gets out when you're sober. you drop your inhibitions and just have a good time. and ya know... there's nothing wrong with that. and yes... i love the taste of guinness. let me repeat that... LOVE the taste of guinness. love it. i don't just drink it 'cause it gets me drunk. if that were the case, i'd be drinking natty lite and pabst blue ribbon... not one of the most expensive beers you'll find in your average bar.

so again... if you don't want to drink, god bless ya. you'll have more money saved up... never have to worry about who's driving... never end up with your arms wrapped around a porcelin bowl at 5:30 in the morning... never wake up somewhere and not know how you got there, or who you're with ... and just maybe you'll live 5-10 years longer than the rest of us... but then again, maybe ya won't. there are health benefits to the occasional glass of wine or pint of guinness, after all.

so do what you want to do because YOU want to do... F' peer pressure. but i believe the old phrase goes "don't knock it unless you've tried it."

 

[bsp77]

i like it when my friends don't want me to buy them drinks 'cause i save money...



If you don't want to drink, that's fine... I have no problem with that at all. whatever the reason is... be it alcoholism, ya don't like it, or ya just don't feel like it... fine. go nuts.

i don't drink as much as i did in college. frankly, when you work full time, going through the day hungover isn't as appealing as it was when all i had to do was get to a few classes and sleep the rest of the day.

i don't drink every day... i can have just one drink at dinner and leave it at that, and i certainly don't need alcohol to keep myself entertained... but yea... every now and then, especially when i have nothing to do the next day, i just feel like going out with some friends and getting absolutely shit canned. why? 'cause it's fun... 'cause i enjoy myself. it lets a part of you out that rarely gets out when you're sober. you drop your inhibitions and just have a good time. and ya know... there's nothing wrong with that. and yes... i love the taste of guinness. let me repeat that... LOVE the taste of guinness. love it. i don't just drink it 'cause it gets me drunk. if that were the case, i'd be drinking natty lite and pabst blue ribbon... not one of the most expensive beers you'll find in your average bar.

so again... if you don't want to drink, god bless ya. you'll have more money saved up... never have to worry about who's driving... never end up with your arms wrapped around a porcelin bowl at 5:30 in the morning... never wake up somewhere and not know how you got there, or who you're with ... and just maybe you'll live 5-10 years longer than the rest of us... but then again, maybe ya won't. there are health benefits to the occasional glass of wine or pint of guinness, after all.

so do what you want to do because YOU want to do... F' peer pressure. but i believe the old phrase goes "don't knock it unless you've tried it."

Amen, but you now have me wanting a Guinness and this NOT an approipate time for that. Though, I may enjoy working more if I had a Guinness or two.

And, yes a glass or two of alcohol a day can lower blood pressure. Red wine is particularly beneficial due to the tannins. On the other hand, more than that can lead to heart disease and liver problems. It is a fine line, but do what makes you happy.

I have also heard that a little coffee every day can prevent Parkinson's and Alzheimers. Also, too much Vitamin E can be harmful. Basically everything in moderation.

 

[Danospano]

I've been on both sides of this conflict. In high school and the first few years of college (basically when I was underage and afraid of getting caught), I didn't drink no matter how much pressure. I was made to feel like a loser because I wouldn't do something I thought was ethically wrong. I regret not doing it, because I think I missed out on some great experiences by being the goody two-shoes.

Now that I'm 24 and I've been going out for the past 3 years, I've discovered that drinking isn't a prerequiste for a good time. It can losen you up and it can help get you started, but having a good time is all about the attitude; if you want a good time you have to create it in your brain, and alcohol isn't the end-all solution.

Keep in mind that when intoxicated people offer you drinks it's like a gift. They want to please you, and you shouldn't be so angry about it. The best way to end this annoyance is to 1) continue saying 'no, thanks', or 2) Always have a glass with some sort of non-alcoholic beverage inside it. Then lie to them about what you're drinking. If you're drinking a diet coke, say it's a Rum and coke. If you're drinking water, say it's gin and tonic. Aside from the lack of carbonated bubbles, they won't know the difference.

 

[U2Kitten]

i've been invited to several drinking parties (i'm 18 most of my friends are still 17) and i've refused to go to all. i dont want to be around the temptation to do something stupid and i don't want to see my friends wasted. it frustrates me that they need an alcoholic substance in order to have fun. i'd rather be under my own control and figure out my own creative ways to have fun.

Good for you!

As a 35 year old, I have to say the same thing, it frustrates me that some people cannot have fun or be entertained unless they are 'wasted' *chokecoughmyhusband* Be proud of yourself you are creative and smart enough to think of something else to do!