does anyone else NOT want to get married or have a relationship...EVER?!

[beau2ifulday]

I don't like relationships - they scare the living shit out of me, to be honest. I've had a couple of serious ones, and as soon as the guys/girls involved have crossed a threshold of what I consider to be 'too emotionally close' (i.e. the first time they say 'I Love You'), I end it.
Makes me sound like a bitch, and I know i've hurt people before because of how I am, but once it reaches that point, I get completely terrified. I can't deal with that sort of thing.
I don't have the desire to get married or anything - I either prefer casual relationships, or just being alone

 

[u2bonogirl]

I saw newlyweds today. They were in a parking lot and had just gotten out of their decorated car.
The guy stood behind the car and watched his new wife get out and he smiled at her, eyes lit up.
She smiled too, and ran into his arms. He took her and swung her around in a circle and kissed her.
They were both laughing
Then they took one another's hand and walked into the store.
It was really beautiful

 

[U2Girl1978]

That is!

I would love to be in a relationship but I'm scared that I'm going to get hurt like I have in the past. I've dated the wrong guys thinking I could change them.

 

[TwoAmericas]

Guys suck.

They want one thing and one thing only:

 

[the soul waits]

I saw newlyweds today. They were in a parking lot and had just gotten out of their decorated car.
The guy stood behind the car and watched his new wife get out and he smiled at her, eyes lit up.
She smiled too, and ran into his arms. He took her and swung her around in a circle and kissed her.
They were both laughing
Then they took one another's hand and walked into the store.
It was really beautiful

Yes, that's beautiful, but it's just a moment.
Sadly, I've learned to stop believing in fairy tales.

 

[angelordevil]

Yes, that's beautiful, but it's just a moment.
Sadly, I've learned to stop believing in fairy tales.

I don't believe in fairy tales, but I believe dreams can come true (can I copyright that...$$$... ).

I really do believe that though...

 

[u2bonogirl]

I swear, my life turned from a friggin nightmare to a fairy tale.
Or maybe it seems that way to me because of the 180 it did.

 

[LarryMullen's POPAngel]

I'm quite wary of relationships, for damn sure. I want to believe I can be happy with someone again, but I've been put through the wringer so many times it's hard to trust anyone.

Still, I believe in love and all of that good stuff. I'm just a very hard one to crack when it comes down to it, unfortunately.

 

[*Ally*]

i hear you, LMPA... been hurt in the past, scared of being there again, etc i used to be such a romantic. i hope that one day i'll regain a bit of that unwavering confidence that ideal, true love does exist!

i still do hope to get married someday, even though i'm not so sure us humans are genetically wired to be monogamous... but that's another thread entirely!

 

[MissVelvetDress_75]

I am on the fence about this topic. Deep down I would love to meet my prince charming and marry him and live happily ever after. However knowing how picky and stubborn I am, I highly doubt he exists.

It has been since 1999 since I was involved in a serious relationship. Since then, I have not had a boyfriend. I have dated since but I have not met anyone that I felt a connection with that would lead to a relationship.

I am used to being on my own now and for the most part I love it. I enjoy not having to deal with the ups and downs in relationships. I do not like the person I become when I am involved in a serious relationship.

When it comes to dating, I love that I can shut my emotions off now and not give a damn about it anymore. I am not sure the guy likes it but I like knowing that I can keep my wall up and not take a brick down.

Yeah, there are things that I miss from time to time by not having a boyfriend. I miss not having someone laying next me that I care about, I miss not being able to roll over and wrap my arms around his back and snuggle up against him while he sleeps, I miss not having hugs and kisses from someone that I love, I miss not having the romance of finding flowers, a card, a gift for no reason from someone. I enjoyed hearing and reading "I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" "You are the best thing that has ever happend to me!" "I don't ever want to let you go!" "I miss you!" "I can't wait to see you again!" "I can't wait to see you smile and hold you again!"...

However I do not miss my jealous side that tends to pop out when I am in a relationship. I do not miss my angry side, I do not miss my emotional stupid side. I do not miss the arguments, I do not miss hauling my shit out of his apartment at 3AM and driving home crying like a fool and crawling into bed feeling like the world has ended. I do not miss planning my days around my relationship. I do not miss being disappointed.

I am better off on my own.

 

[u2bonogirl]

I think part of what helps is meeting the right person before youve been damaged by the wrong people.
The more times youve been hurt, the less you trust. And you have to have trust to have a relationship.
Im disgusted that I even said that cliche

I have a lot of special emotional needs that I just didnt think could be fulfilled by anybody....well any straight male
I need a lot of attention, and to be the center of his world ALL the time. Thats a hard thing to get
But somehow the right person was plopped in my lap from across a continent.
Im a believer in destiny and fate and all that shite now.

 

[Blue Room]

I'm pretty much indifferent either way. Its been 3 1/2 years since I was in a serious relationship and since then I have become even more independant than I was previously. I'm extremely happy being on my own. Would be very difficult to give up that independance. I'm not looking, not even dating, but if the right girl came along (and they would really have to be the RIGHT girl) I wouldnt be against it. Seems very unlikely at this point that I would meet that girl but I dont think its impossible either.

 

[Russty Cat]

I always thought there was no way I would ever marry. I'm a very independent person. I need my space and room to breathe. Just like U2bonogirl amazingly enough someone came along who understood that. We've been married for 10 years and he is still really great about not crowding me to much. But I won't lie, its been incredibly hard work at times. But I don't think I would change a thing.

I also don't think there is anything wrong with being alone though. If your happy with your life thats all that is important. Being with someone doesn't make you a better person. To each his own.

 

[For Honor]

I think we can all tell what gender I am
Did you know that the octagon bar in L.S. cropped up out of something like this?
Funny story actually. The one that started the "Im single" thread Im marrying in 11 days
I was always the marrying type, and Im only 19
For some reason there was just something in me that wanted to come home to the same person and build a lifelong love affair.
Part of it has to do with meeting the right person
I mean, if you met somebody that was so perfect for you that it just boggled your mind, could you really pass it up?

Yeah, I know what you mean.


I never thought about realtionships, and I've spent a lot of time alone im my life already. I know the ins and outs of being on your own, even if I am young.

BUt I don't know, I think I was designed for marriage. I'm just that kind of person. It's nice ot know there are others out there

 

[For Honor]

I think that's a problem a lot of people have. They don't realize that they deserve better so they stay in bad relationships.

Yeah, some people are that way. My father is a prime example. He keeps thinking the other person will change, and more and more stuff keeps happening, and he keeps dealing wiht it. I mean, it's killing him. It's kind of hard to watch your father decend into the depths of relationship hell, and see it effect him...

...

ANYHOW...


It was a bad situation of someone who wants to be in a good long term relationship, but had his values and priorites all messed up - reminds me of another post someone wrote already-- he was looking for another person to make him happy, and that weakness was ultimately his downfall.

It destroyed him, and now he is stuck rebuilding


Needless tosay, I refuse crappy relationships, and have become REALLY selective about the ones I am in now. See, IO don't mind solitude. My best friends are raelly me, myself, and I. (And god, if you want to go that road)

But I would love to be in a realy, working loving marriage. I'm just that way.

 

[For Honor]

Sometimes I do get a pang when I witness a genuine intimacy and "togetherness" between two people.

MMM, yeah, right in the face ! :smack:


hahaha, I don't know, I seem to be in a funny mood. Sorry about that.




Sometimes it's nice to see that. Sometimes I'm jealous and don;t like it, and sometimes it doesn't bother me at all. But so be it.

I guess I just have a feeling I will get what I want. But I see marriage as a luxury, and not something I can't live without. It has to be real, and if it is, Im' there.

But if it isn't I don't think it could support everything I would invest into it. LIke.. . I can't build a house on unstable land

and a house doesn't make a home

 

[For Honor]

Guys suck.

They want one thing and one thing only:

not all of them


And I am sure I am not the only one who feels that way, either.

 

[For Honor]

I think part of what helps is meeting the right person before youve been damaged by the wrong people.
The more times youve been hurt, the less you trust. And you have to have trust to have a relationship.
Im disgusted that I even said that cliche

I have a lot of special emotional needs that I just didnt think could be fulfilled by anybody....well any straight male
I need a lot of attention, and to be the center of his world ALL the time. Thats a hard thing to get
But somehow the right person was plopped in my lap from across a continent.
Im a believer in destiny and fate and all that shite now.

Well, I'm in a simliar situation, but I can only hope it will work out the way it has for you.





I didn't believe in love, and I hated the word. BUt love changed me, it brought out a side of me that I didn't know existed, and it has taught me a lot. I've learned so much since I've met that person, and it has been a reallly good experience for me. I kind of am in an unconditional state, so whatever happens between us is okay. Even if things don't work out, I've known her for a long time now, and I plan on knowing her for even longer years down the road, regardless of our emotional attachment.

But she will always be my first love. I tried to deny that at one point, but I just accept it now. I don't fall in love easily, I don't make friends easily. But I guess sometimes things happen. Actually, the truth is, I wasn't looking, and it found me. And I was totally ambushed. But no matter what, I will take away so many positive things from all this


And that is invaluable and a rare thing to say, so I really think I'm fortunate.


I hope other people can experience something like it sometime.



Like she said,
you have to

"Find the one for you"

 

[Sicy]

I dont want to get married or have kids.

Is there something wrong with me ? No. That's just how I feel. And its ok that I feel like that. No one says that you HAVE to get married and you HAVE to have kids. If you are happy and satisfied in your life that's all that should matter.

 

[martha]

Yes, that's beautiful, but it's just a moment.

With the right person and a little effort from time to time, those moments can add up to a wonderful life together.

We'll be married 16 years on Saturday. There have been some rocky times, but I wouldn't have it any other way. Healthy relationships change and grow with the people involved. Our relationship is deeper and more meaningful because of what we've been through together.

Our independence is intact as well. Right now Steve's in Prague with his collaborator and I leave for Yellowstone on Sunday.

And nowhere is it written that marriage=children.

Enough preaching. Give yourselves some time and space. Maybe you don't want to be married right now, but don't nail the door shut just yet.

 

[For Honor]

I agree with Sicy and Martha

 

[xtal]

I wouldn't make a good mother or a housewife. There I said it. My insecurities, my fears.
I can't even make a decent mac and cheese.

Plus, there's the other reason that no one has ever wanted me, ever.

 

[julianamendoza]

I don't think i'm ever gonna get married.. my boyfriend just told me he would like to marry me, and i rejected the idea right away ( just like i've rejected 5 MORE PROPOSALS!! in the past).. it's not that i don't want to.. it's just that i think they're not the right person for me... I guess it's my fault for dating just anyone... or for being so picky... or for not being able to make important decisions...

But anyway, i think it's getting late for me to have kids and all that.. i see my friends and family memebers who are married with kids.. and it just seems like such a hard think to do.. specially dealing with kids 24/7.. i mean, i love kids, but i don't think i couldn't handle them all the time... you can't even sleep in again, ever! and then all these responsabilities... money, schools, education, health, etc... I admire parents, but i don't think I was born to be one...

 

[gareth brown]

christ this thread is ages old! never thought I'd see it again!

 

[U2Girl1978]

Jeez, how many pages did you dig to get to some of the threads on here? Some of these are so old.

 

[causalitycalls]

I wouldn't make a good mother or a housewife. There I said it. My insecurities, my fears.
I can't even make a decent mac and cheese.

Plus, there's the other reason that no one has ever wanted me, ever.

Ha ha-I'm so glad I'm not the only one who can't make mac & cheese (why is powdered cheese & noodles so damn difficult!!!). My cooking creations involve a can opener and, for more elaborate dishes, the microwave. That's why you find a man to cook & clean (I've got one that can cook now, but he still needs some training on the cleaning side). Just because you wouldn't make a good mother or housewife doesn't mean there isn't a guy out there who wouldn't make a good father or house...man (whatever). In most of my relationships I've been the one who makes the most money and in turn the guy has taken up the slack around the house. Being a sugar-mamma totally rocks! Unless you have some crazy objection to having someone cook, clean & love you, I don't think there could ever be a reason you couldn't find a cabana boy!

 

[Blue Room]

I doubt I will ever get married again. I say that but I'm not against it either. If I met the right girl and I felt that connection, had similiar common interests and had mutual respect for those things that were different between us, I would consider it. I also would probably date for at least 2 or 3 years before I would consider it seriously. You learn more about a person in that 2nd year than any other time IMO. You get to see the real person in that year and I think its a good gauge as to whether you really are compatible and potentially want to spend the rest of your life with them.

If I never meet anyone again, it wont bother me. There are so many great things about being single. It would be extremely difficult to give up the complete freedom I enjoy now. I think there could be a girl out there that would make me want to give that up, but will I ever meet her? Tough to say, but I think the odds are probably greater that I wont. Just enjoy what you have and be thankful for the positive things in your life. You can be happy married, in a relationship, or completely single. Its what you make of it.

 

[bono_man2002]

Guys suck.

They want one thing and one thing only:

Oh yes, to be in a relationship I must have a dancing lock

But there are a few of us from the male tribe that are interested in more than "one thing"

 

[For Honor]

^ they want it again tomorrow.............

 

[bono_man2002]

^ they want it again tomorrow.............