Dealing with the loss of a friend

[Bonogirl777]

At the moment, I'm greiving the loss of my friend Katie. She was a senior at my school. I met her last year in my piano lab class. She was a junior at the time and I, a freshman. She always had such a bright and cheery smile on her face. Her attitude towards things was fantastic! She was hilarious and always made me feel better about stuff going on in school or just life in general. She was gonna help me ask this guy out, but I chickened out at the last moment. If I had some homework assignment I had due, she'd probably say, "Don't sweat it, kid."

She was my role model. She was what I wanted to be like at the end of my high school career. I just looked up to her so damn much and that's why it's so tough for me, I think.

This year, I especially feel regret because I didn't talk to her as much as I would have liked. I passed her in the halls but that was about it. And no matter what, our nicknames for each other remained the same. "Junior" for her, and "Freshman" for me. Doesn't matter if she's now a senior or I'm a sophomore now. It just stuck.

But please, if you can, pray for her dad. I didn't find this out until a couple days ago, but his wife (her mother) had passed away this past September. Her poor father. I will be praying for him every night now. This must be so tough for him.
There will be a wake tomorrow so I'll be going to that to pay my last respects.

What a beautiful soul and spirit this girl had. It was unbelieveable. It just radiated from her.

The extremely sad part is, she literally just turned 18 the day before she passed. I can't get over that part.

I know that she may not live here on this Earth anymore, but she definitely will live in the thoughts, memories, and words of all the people who got the great oppertunity to meet and know her.

There will be a wake tomorrow so I'll be going to that to pay my last respects.



Rest In Peace Katie. You'll be greatly missed.

 

[misfit toys]

Eighteen is way too young.

 

[Pearl]

I'm sorry to hear about this, Bonogirl777

 

[Galeongirl]

Sorry to hear for your loss.

 

[Laura M]

Sorry to hear your sad news.

 

[Lila64]

I know I posted in this thread or a similar thread a few days ago, but don't see it

So sorry for your loss
How did the wake go?

 

[Bonogirl777]

It was a thread in PLEBA.

Well, the wake was tough for me. Seeing every person there crying their eyes out and just the sadness of it all kinda hit me. My best friend came with me for support even though she didn't really know Katie that well. Plus, both of my parents came and almost everyone there, I knew from school. It ended up being open casket which I didn't expect because I didn't know what had actually happened to her in the accident.

My friend slept over night and I had my mind kept off of the wake for the whole night until we actually went to sleep. I tried to sleep but just couldn't stop thinking about what I had seen the night before. So I distracted myself by going to the computer (finally getting to bed about 2 hours later).

I mean, my mom said that Katie looked beautiful and exactly like an angel and I agreed but...I just didn't deal with it very well. It makes me kind of uncomfortable, the open casket thing. It gave me closure, y'know, seeing her for the very last time I guess. But then afterwards I was just kinda haunted by the image. Had a few sleepless nights.

But, I'm dealing with it much better now. I can finally move on, a bit. I know that she's at peace and she'll always be watching over us, I think.

 

[JanuaryStar]

Sorry to hear this, Liz, and that the wake was so tough on you. I think you're right when you say she'll always be watching over you. I strongly believe that, too Good luck with everything and remember, grieving takes time, so let it. When you feel the tears come, let them flow. When you want to be angry, be so. Whatever you feel like, let it in... Sending you lots of strength

 

[Bonogirl777]

Thanks so much! I've never been one to hold everything in anyways and I talk with friends and my parents about stuff.

 

[Lila64]

Thanks for the update Liz.

I don't know if I could ever attend an open casket funeral. Never had to so far. That had to be very difficult.

 

[MissVelvetDress_75]

so sad.

Prayers for you and her father.

Open casket is never easy. Every time I have viewed the deceased they never looked like the person I knew yet the do look like they are in peace. I unfortunately lost several classmates while I was in high school and all due to tragic events. It is never easy and I am truly sorry for your loss. She will be forever young.

 

[Illumination70]

I'm so sorry for your loss.
((HUGS))

 

[Bonogirl777]

Well, it's been 4 months now. I had a dream about her the other night. In the dream, I was driving alone (and I don't even have my license yet!) and I kind of had a flashback back to piano lab where we first met. We were all laughing and having a good time like we used to. She started playing piano and we all just watched and listened. I came back to myself in the car and found I was crying really hard. Just about bawling.

I have a better time of dealing with it at this point but I still think of her every day. Especially now in the Spring time because the sunlight somehow reminds me of her and her beautiful smile.

 

[vjacqb]

I'm sorry that you got sad again from your dream, I hope it will get better.

 

[Purplereign]

I'm sorry Liz . . . i kinda like to think that dreams like that are just a reflection of the depth of feeling we have for the person who has passed, and yes, the sadness can be overwhelming at times but I'd rather have that bittersweet sadness any day of the week over not having had the honour of knowing that person at all . . . my beautiful brother often visits me in my dreams and, after nearly 15 years without him here, I sometimes look forward to that feeling . . . enough about me

hope the road gets a little easier for you gorgeous