College...

[AtomicBono]

How the hell does anyone decide where to go to college, and just how important is the "college experience?"

I'm a junior in high school and college scares me a lot. I think I know what I want to study (music management and production) but I'm not sure, and I don't know if I have the proper qualifications. Also, I don't know if I want to go away to college or stay in state...most of my friends already graduated high school and they stuck around. The thought of leaving everyone I know kind of terrifies me. Maybe that means I'm too people-dependant. and I know I'd make new friends eventually, but... do I really have to leave everyone? is that part of "growing up?" Do I have to make such a drastic change? is it bad to not go away?

also, how important is "choosing the right college" or whatever? like, do you have to go to the absolute best college you can get into? My dad went to Harvard and I'm a good student (4.0 throughout high school so far), but I don't know if I really want to go to Harvard or some really fancy school or whatever. I just want to go somewhere with cirriculum I'm interested in that will get me a job (I'm thinking of starting my own record label actually...so business school? see I have no idea).

I don't know. I am so flummoxed and frightened right now. Just thinking about college really, really worries me. Like I seriously have a phobia of it. I really have no idea where I'm going in life. Does anyone have any advice?

Does everyone go through this, or am I weird?

 

[JMScoopy]

if this makes you feel any better, im a junior in college and i still dont know what im gonna do in life.

I wouldnt worry about it too much and enjoy highschool while you can.

i'd estimate that 95% of kids 16-22 y/o dont know what they wanna do.

 

[Kristie]

You're exactly where I was when I was in high school... but I never bothered to find out that stuff and I kind of regret it now. The fear of leaving everyone meant that I only applied to Purdue because my brother was there and all my friends wanted to go there (along with about 250 other people I knew).
Once I figured out what I really wanted to major in, it turned out to be something Purdue wasn't so great at, and I'm just now realizing that I really got a substandard education.

I think it does matter what college, but since I never did it I can't tell you where to get information. Does your school have a counselor you can talk to? Or maybe your favorite teacher?
I don't think going to the best school is always necessary, but a good school will help. You don't have to know exactly what you want to do, but at least know in general what you're interested in... sciences, liberal arts, business, etc. It'll help, and you'll be less likely to end up like I did (an anthropology major at an engineering school).

By the way, if you do decide you want to major in music, Yale's music school recently got a huge gift from an alum and they decided to use it to abolish tuition.

 

[Achtung_Bebe]

I don't know. I am so flummoxed and frightened right now.

Don't worry, you used the word flummoxed -- you should do fine

seriously though, I had no clue what I wanted to do going into college--I have 1 year left until I graduate with a degree in Advertising and I'm still not 100% sure what I want to do. my point is that these feelings are completely normal. It's scary because you feel like your entire future is riding on these decisions; however, there are life lessons that you will learn from college regardless of your major e.g. self discipline, social skills, stress management (or mismanagement), procrastination techniques...

whatever you do, just strive to do your best.

 

[BonosBaby12]

Don't worry what you are feeling is completely normal! I went through it all when I was in high school. Once senior year hit I really started panicking. However with me I knew right away that I wanted to be in the law field. Going to a technical hs and studying criminal justice there for 4 years helped me with that decision. However when it came to college I felt really overwhelmed. So I talked to people who had already been through it all. Got some recommendations of which colleges that would benefit me with my major. Ended up starting small by going to University of Delaware's parallel program which was a smaller class setting. Was still a U of D student but I just wasn't at the main campus yet. Personally for me that helped with going right into that college transition. Oh and don't let your school choice be influenced by where your father went or where your friends are going. That's a big mistake and you still have time to think about everything so there's no need for rush decisions yet.

Btw is there anyone that you could possibly talk to that is in the field that you want to have a career in?

 

[Bonochick]

When I was 5 years old, I chose my major and which university I was going to attend, no joke. That dream didn't change...until my first semester at said university when I began to grow very nervous. I was fearful that I was going to end up spending a lot of money to go into a field that might not work out for me. I wasn't willing to do that. I also missed home very much, even though "home" was also a new place, as Dad and I had moved a couple weeks after I graduated high school. I completed the semester and then transferred to a community college close to home so I could dabble in another field...and then move onto a university, should I choose to. Well, I ended up getting my associates degree, but I decided I didn't want to go any further. I was happy with what I had accomplished, and had fairly insignificant debt, as far as student loans go. The job I have today is the type of job I never even knew existed...and I am very, very happy here. I love what I do.

Don't feel pressured to jump right into a university or feel as though you have to have a major set in stone. You have a lot of options right now. Explore them. I did enjoy my semester at a university...but I can definitely see how something like that is not for everyone.

 

[Mr. BAW]

On Friday, I got a phone call from a very old friend, an elementary school buddy...he says, "I've got good news and I've got bad news!"

"Go on..."

"Bad news is that my son wasn't accepted to Stanford; good news is that it saved me $55K per year!!!"

I'm sorry that none of my children even considered college; I grew up wondering how I would pay for their tuition but that never happened...

 

[Party Boy]

I left school at 17 and did one year in college before I got a job as I wanted to work and start earning money. I went back a few years later and did some night classes, so I never did the full uni experience thing.

The benefits - have no debt, started working early and so had money which allowed me to do 101 things that other friends in uni couldnt do.

Pitfalls - I didnt get to experience uni life. Can't think of any others.

 

[AtomicBono]

How much does what you study in high school impact college? Well, let me rephrase that - I'm basically worried that it's too late to do what I want to do in life. A lot of the music programs I was looking at require two years professional instruction with an instrument (even though I don't want to major in music performance) and I don't have that (I have played guitar for about three years but I'm self-taught). And I haven't taken any music or business classes at my high school, and it looks like next year they're taking away all our electives anyway so am I just out of luck? I've been doing art all through high school but I don't know if I really wanna go to art college.

is it better to just go to a basic liberal arts college and get a basic liberal arts education and then go to graduate school? or should I specialize early on?

 

[smurf_sista]

dont worry im in college (well the aussie version of) and im stressed out as all hell, everyone making me choose what i want to do right now!! i dont know so im just gonna try n get a UAI so at least i can try and get into uni, which i dont wanna do but hey as long as i pass!

 

[redkat]

How much does what you study in high school impact college? Well, let me rephrase that - I'm basically worried that it's too late to do what I want to do in life. A lot of the music programs I was looking at require two years professional instruction with an instrument (even though I don't want to major in music performance) and I don't have that (I have played guitar for about three years but I'm self-taught). And I haven't taken any music or business classes at my high school, and it looks like next year they're taking away all our electives anyway so am I just out of luck? I've been doing art all through high school but I don't know if I really wanna go to art college.

is it better to just go to a basic liberal arts college and get a basic liberal arts education and then go to graduate school? or should I specialize early on?

You need to call and find out if the program you want to get into will accept you without formal training. Let them know you're self taught. If music is your passion and you can specialize in it then a liberal arts education may be a waste of time. Of course it's great to learn about other topics and become more well rounded but focusing and having a passion as you do is a blessing!!


The college/career center at your school should be able to help you know the prerequisites for each school.


It's never too late and you're so young you have lots of time to figure things out.

 

[shaynar]

I'm just 2 weeks shy of finishing my university experience. I lived at home for the whole thing, and that was fine for me b/c I'm not much of a partier anyhow. (However, I have friends who live at home, and are partiers, if there is a will, there is a way!)
Otherwise, I have found that people stress wayyyyyyyy tooooooo muuuuuch about what majors to take in unversity/college. I did. But then halfway through second year (sophmore I think? I don't know the US years) I decided that I hated science, and that I had absolutely no idea what I wanted to do with my life. Needless to say, I was crazy. insanely stressed. But in that process I found what I actually enjoy doing and now I am going to do a masters in it and be happy.

So basically, point of whole above ramble is that there is no reason to stress about anything. Stress is bad. It leads to bad stuff.

You'll figure out what you want to do. In the mean time, have fun.

 

[briarrose]

Don't feel like you have to go to college as soon as you graduate. I waited until I was 21 and I'm so glad I did. Since I worked for awhile, it gave to time to figure out what I really wanted to do.

 

[WildHoneyAlways]

My advice is to be flexible in choosing a major. You might start a program and discover that it's not for you. Also, make sure to check out if you need a graduate degree for what you want to do and take that into consideration. I guess my advice is to be realistic about college and the college experience. The college I chose was perfect for me but I had at least 3 other "perfect" colleges before finally making up my mind.

 

[Sicy]

I never went to college, and I dont think it is a bad thing if one decides not to go. I have a good job (legal assistant) that I've been at for 6 years, I make a decent amount of money, enough to be able to live on my own, have a car, go shopping etc. It all depends I guess on what you want to do in life. I really didnt know what I wanted to do, so I just ended up getting a job as a grocery clerk, which wasnt really a bad job, $16 an hour. Worked there for 8 years and then moved onto to the office job. Personally, I dont think college is necessary to be successful as long as you are happy with your life/job and what you are doing.

 

[BonoIsMyMuse]

The big question you want to start out asking yourself is "Do I really want to go to college?" I'm in the third year of a PhD program and teach several undergrad classes, and I can't tell you how many students I've had over the last few years who are just going through the motions of wanting to be a college student and not really getting anything out of the experience.

From your post, it sounds like you definitely do want to go. It also sounds like you have good enough grades to be able to stand a very good chance of getting into any school you'd want to attend. Next, I suggest thinking about the kind of "college experience" you want. Do you want to go to a large university, or a small school? Do you want to experience living a long way from home, or do you feel more comfortable be a few hours away, or closer? It sounds like you'll be looking for a school with good business and music programs. Do you want to attend big classes in lecture halls, or do you want smaller classes? Big universities have lots more resources than smaller schools, but very often undergrads have to work with grad student teaching assistants and might not get much attention right away.

It's important to also be realistic about what you can afford. You'll certainly qualify for scholarships, but now might be a good time to start asking your parents how much they'll be willing to contribute to your education, and to think about whether you want to take out loans. Private schools are always more expensive, but they can have benefits.

I really encourage you to use this summer to visit some schools you're thinking of applying to. Get a feel for the kind of campus you'd like to be on. When you find some schools you like, make sure to go back and visit in the fall, when classes are in session and you can get a better feeling for what the school is like (since most campuses are pretty dead in the summer).

For me, I knew I wanted to study creative writing. My high school was very small, so I knew I wanted to attend a small college. The college I ended up attending was a Methodist college, and it was extremely expensive. My parents made a deal with me that if I was able to get a certain scholarship and to take out loans, they would help me to cover the rest, even though it meant they had to take out a loan. I'll be paying off loans for years, but I don't have a single regret, because it was the perfect environment for me.

Good luck with your search!

 

[U2dork]

I'm one of those people who started off in a major (art) and decided along the way it wasn't for me, but at least I tried it. I took a 5 year break and worked full time while I tried to figure out what I wanted to do. I eventually went back to school with a completely different major (middle grades education), which I again changed to what I'm doing now (high school math) and I'll finally graduate next month. *jumps for joy!*

The only thing I regret about the path I took is spending an extra couple of semesters in the first major even though I kind of knew it wasn't where I wanted to be...both time and money wasted there. Also, sometimes I look back and think maybe I should have taken my core classes somewhere with cheaper tuition and transferred everything over once I was sure of what I wanted to study...but then again, I wouldn't have met some of the fascinating people who are still in my life 12 years later.

But, yeah, I agree with those who have said to not worry and to be flexible. Try visiting different campuses on the weekends and see what feels comfortable to you. Ask a lot of questions of the people you meet there. Things will fall into the places where they're supposed to go...you'll see.

 

[redkat]

Yea.... I never visited my university before attending and I'd have to say THAT was a major mistake

 

[nbcrusader]

I just want to go somewhere with cirriculum I'm interested in that will get me a job (I'm thinking of starting my own record label actually...so business school? see I have no idea).

The people you meet in college will be more important than the classes you take.

If you are interested in the entertainment industry, a college near an entertainment center (like Los Angeles) would be helpful.

 

[Techie2000]

College is an interesting experience that can and likely will change you. Changing majors is not entirely out of the question because you could become a different person as you grow. I personally am majoring in something right now that I am starting to think I don't want to major in anymore. Really I didn't pick a school based on major but on the "feel" and I really love my school. There are a lot, and I think it's important you visit the campuses and just try and go by intuition and geography. It's really nice not having to worry about taking a plane home during vacations.

 

[chiso]

if this makes you feel any better, im a junior in college and i still dont know what im gonna do in life.

I wouldnt worry about it too much and enjoy highschool while you can.

i'd estimate that 95% of kids 16-22 y/o dont know what they wanna do.

Exactly what I'm going through.

[ ]

 

[AtomicBono]

The big question you want to start out asking yourself is "Do I really want to go to college?" I'm in the third year of a PhD program and teach several undergrad classes, and I can't tell you how many students I've had over the last few years who are just going through the motions of wanting to be a college student and not really getting anything out of the experience.

From your post, it sounds like you definitely do want to go. It also sounds like you have good enough grades to be able to stand a very good chance of getting into any school you'd want to attend. Next, I suggest thinking about the kind of "college experience" you want. Do you want to go to a large university, or a small school? Do you want to experience living a long way from home, or do you feel more comfortable be a few hours away, or closer? It sounds like you'll be looking for a school with good business and music programs. Do you want to attend big classes in lecture halls, or do you want smaller classes? Big universities have lots more resources than smaller schools, but very often undergrads have to work with grad student teaching assistants and might not get much attention right away.

It's important to also be realistic about what you can afford. You'll certainly qualify for scholarships, but now might be a good time to start asking your parents how much they'll be willing to contribute to your education, and to think about whether you want to take out loans. Private schools are always more expensive, but they can have benefits.

I really encourage you to use this summer to visit some schools you're thinking of applying to. Get a feel for the kind of campus you'd like to be on. When you find some schools you like, make sure to go back and visit in the fall, when classes are in session and you can get a better feeling for what the school is like (since most campuses are pretty dead in the summer).

For me, I knew I wanted to study creative writing. My high school was very small, so I knew I wanted to attend a small college. The college I ended up attending was a Methodist college, and it was extremely expensive. My parents made a deal with me that if I was able to get a certain scholarship and to take out loans, they would help me to cover the rest, even though it meant they had to take out a loan. I'll be paying off loans for years, but I don't have a single regret, because it was the perfect environment for me.

Good luck with your search!

thanks, this post was particularly helpful. paying for college shouldn't be a huge problem since my dad has been putting money aside for me for college since before I was born...I'll probably still have to take out some loans, but that'd be okay.

I guess the ultimate question I wanna ask is: is college that big a deal? Based on the posts so far I'd answer no, at least it's not the end of the world...is it important, yes of course, but... I guess I'll just feel better if it's not like the single most important thing I do in life or whatever. I mean, I'd kind of rather just have my life continue like normal and just go to a college near home so I don't have to change everything all at once... is that acceptable?

I'd like to formally thank everyone who has responded to this thread so far, my anxiety is already slightly eased.

 

[Irvine511]

Re: Re: College...

The people you meet in college will be more important than the classes you take.

If you are interested in the entertainment industry, a college near an entertainment center (like Los Angeles) would be helpful.

this is dead on. it really is who you meet at college that becomes important. and it's less about what you learn than the process by which you learn, problem solving, individual initiative, risk taking, being self-directed, etc. some of the most worthwhile stuff i learned in college wasn't in the classroom but in getting very involved in campus. it was quite a thing to learn how to run a meeting, organize a group of people, work with faculty and administration, work as a team, work with a co-leader/president or whatever. these are skills far more in demand in the workplace than being able to write a paper on the impeachment of Andrew Jackson or whatever (not that academics aren't important, they are, but these days no one gives a shit what i know, they care about what i can do).

meet good people, and make strong friendships. they will sustain you when suddenly your network of college friends disappears after graduation. and do interesting things that encourage you to grow in not necessarily academic ways.

 

[WildHoneyAlways]

Re: Re: Re: College...

these are skills far more in demand in the workplace than being able to write a paper on the impeachment of Andrew Jackson or whatever (not that academics aren't important, they are, but these days no one gives a shit what i know, they care about what i can do).

[angry history teacher]

hey.

[/angry history teacher]




Anyway i do think choosing a college is a big deal. If you don't give much thought or do any research you can end up miserable and having to switch schools/majors etc. I have friends who picked schools like it was no big deal and many of them ended up at home after a semester or year.

good luck

 

[anitram]

I kind of think college is a bigger deal than some people here made it sound. That's not to say you have to go to a specific one or to one 2000 miles away - choose one that appeals to you most for whatever reason.

College teaches you to participate in critical thinking with people your age. And you will also get to experience social interactions on a level you'll never experience anywhere else because the schedule in college lends itself to doing all sorts of things outside of class.

And if you go there with an open mind, you can fall in love with areas of study you never considered. Maybe you change your life plan, maybe you stick with it, but there is the opportunity to grow, especially if you are adaptable to change.

Not everyone has to go to college or even needs to go, but I guess personally, I think it's an invaluable, priceless experience.

 

[Irvine511]

Re: Re: Re: Re: College...

[angry history teacher]

hey.

[/angry history teacher]

i'm sorry -- i'm a total nerd! i love knowledge! and i was given plenty of it by wonderful teachers such as yourself!

it just seemed that the question in here was about college and then transferring that into real world stuff, and i can honestly say that no one has ever asked me much about what i wrote my thesis on other than to ask, "what did you write your thesis on?" (it was on _Trainspotting_ positing a solution to the post-colonial condition through renouncing the nation-state and embracing a late-capitalist identity of consumerist assembly).

while the knowledge is great for cocktail parties and trivial pursuit games, it's the process that one undergoes in accumulating that knowledge, analyzing it, synthesizing it, and then writing about it, that has proved to be so valuable. it's not about learning how to think, but in learning how to think about the ways in which you've been taught to think.

i also think that time management, interpersonal skills, and individual initative are the skills that equal success in the workplace.

 

[jammin909]

Go to a good school with a good reputation and get good grades and you'll get into a good grad school!

Sounds pretty simple yeah?

I think for undergrad its more important to decide what type of college experience you want. I went to a big school and loved every second of it, more oppurtunities - more fun. Specialize in what you really want to do during grad school.

The first year you will most likely take gen ed requirements anyway so you still have a minimun of another 2 years to decide what you want to do.

I would def go visit a variety of schools this summer though and try to get a better idea of what type of environment you will be most comfortable.

 

[unforgettableFOXfire]

If you're willing to work hard, you'll succeed in life regardless of whether or not you go to school -- going to school really only determines whether you start at the 'bottom of the ladder' or whether you start slightly higher... and even that is tenuous. In truth, many employers I've talked to have said that they treat an undergrad education like previous work experience: it shows dedication and commitment, it shows that you can put up through harder times, etc... but really, whether it makes you a better employee or makes you more employable (unless you go to a professional school like for Engineering or Medicine) is really up in the air.

I guess the point of all that is this: do what you want to do for university/college. I mean, everyone treats it like a big serious be-all/end-all kind-of thing and in truth it isn't. Don't worry about not knowing what you want to do for the rest of your life or whatever, when you eventually figure it out you're still going to have to work for it like anyone else - the formal education is not a guarunteed ticket to success.

 

[WildHoneyAlways]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: College...

i'm sorry -- i'm a total nerd! i love knowledge! and i was given plenty of it by wonderful teachers such as yourself!

it just seemed that the question in here was about college and then transferring that into real world stuff, and i can honestly say that no one has ever asked me much about what i wrote my thesis on other than to ask, "what did you write your thesis on?" (it was on _Trainspotting_ positing a solution to the post-colonial condition through renouncing the nation-state and embracing a late-capitalist identity of consumerist assembly).

while the knowledge is great for cocktail parties and trivial pursuit games, it's the process that one undergoes in accumulating that knowledge, analyzing it, synthesizing it, and then writing about it, that has proved to be so valuable. it's not about learning how to think, but in learning how to think about the ways in which you've been taught to think.

i also think that time management, interpersonal skills, and individual initative are the skills that equal success in the workplace.

Everything you've said here is what I try to "trick" my high school students into learning too. That's what social studies is really all about. Not the tricking, the skill development. haha.

 

[impy13]

Yea.... I never visited my university before attending and I'd have to say THAT was a major mistake

Definitely. I visited TSU twice and was never that impressed with it, but I came anyway. It still doesn't feel like home and I can't wait to get out of here.

I put in my transfer application to UT a couple months ago and haven't heard back, but hopefully that is where I end up next year.

So yes, picking the right college makes a big difference in how happy you will be.