bridesmaid for bf's mom?

[AttnKleinkind]

Hey everyone! I have a unique problem...So my boyfriend of two years' mom is getting married, and she asked me to be a bridesmaid. This is strange for a few reasons. First of all, my boyfriend hardly has a relationship with his mom...he moved out when when he was *very* young, they only talk really on birthdays, and even then, they don't really have a lot to talk about. I've met his mom once, at my boyfriend's sister's baby shower...we talked a bit, but no major bonding or anything. I was asked to be a bridesmaid through his sister, partly because of language issues (she primarily speaks Spanish) and I guess partly because she doesn't know me very well. I asked if I could think about it, and she said that was okay. I've been thinking about it, and I have *no* idea what to do! I guess I just feel really weird about it since I don't really know her very well, I would sort of feel like I would be intruding, or out of place there. I could understand more if I was married or engaged to my boyfriend, but we're just dating (although it's pretty serious).

I can't figure out if it would be more awkward if I did it, or more rude if I didn't. I mean, I think I want to...but it would still feel weird. And it could be a really nice thing to do for his mom, if she wants me to do it. But...I've met her only once! My boyfriend says he has absolutely no opinion, which is frustrating. I've thought about talking to his sister about it, but I don't want to sound like I've made a decision to not do it, because I would be willing to do it...I guess I just want her opinion on it? Or maybe more background as to why her mom wants me to be a bridesmaid? But I feel it would be rude to bring it up with her.

After writing this, I feel like maybe I'm just caring too much about what other people would think of it. Also, part of me is paranoid that it's an "unvitation" type of thing...like she's asking me to do it but expecting me to say no. But it's such a random request, I should probably just take it at face value, I think.

Any opinions/advice would be appreciated!

 

[Galeongirl]

Well maybe she feels bad about the bad relationship with her son and wants to make the best of it? If she bonds with you she could perhaps get through to her son? I'm just guessing here though. What you should do is entirely up to yourself, if you're up for being her bridesmaid. If you feel way too awkward about it, there's no harm in a polite rejection as long as you explain why.

 

[Bonoa]

Just as GG said: maybe she asked you to be her bridesmaid to bond with her son. Nevertheless, I must admit that it's hard to say no in a situation like this.
You can say 'yes' and have a great party!

 

[Liesje]

You mentioned a language barrier....is there a cultural element involved? I don't really know much about weddings in other cultures, but could it be that it would be traditional for someone like you (relative or significant other) to be in the wedding party?

My issue would be spending so much on the dress, helping with the wedding shower, travel to/from wedding....reasons why I'd turn down being a bridesmaid for someone I didn't really know. But if there was a cultural reason, I'd be more open to respecting that.

 

[Purplereign]

I'd be inclined to just do it . . . especially if your relationship with your boy is something you see lasting . . . not sure if your bf's mum is new to the country or not but I imagine it would be equally difficult for her to ask someone that she barely knows. . . try and put the 'weird factor' in a little box and think of it as a gorgeous way to build some bridges and, as some of the other switched on peeps here have already stated, maybe help your boyfriend and his mum to find a better place to be again

Good Luck with whatever you decide . . . and btw . . . if you do it . . . just remember we need pictures pleeeeeeeeze