Anyone around here dislike Christmas

[iloveedge]

I stopped liking Christmas when my Mum died 2 summers ago.

I'm verry sorry to hear that.

 

[redhotswami]

for everyone who has a rough time this time of year.

With my my parents, brother and I living on opposite sides of the state now (we actually have all 3 tips of the triangle covered!), Christmas, Thanksgiving, and Easter are the only times we all get to see each other again. Also, every now and again my friends for some reason or another, can't spend these holidays with their own families, so they come over to our place. It's like a refuge.

But, I feel for you all who don't enjoy the holiday. I hope sometime in the future you create new happy memories that make you look forward to it each year.

 

[iloveedge]

Also, every now and again my friends for some reason or another, can't spend these holidays with their own families, so they come over to our place. It's like a refuge.

Does this mean I can go to your place? hahaha! just joking!

 

[redhotswami]

Does this mean I can go to your place? hahaha! just joking!

All are welcome!
Our family certainly isn't perfect. And sometimes our guests end up witnessing perhaps more than they'd like to. Ha, one year my father thanked us for showing his distant uncle "what it is like to eat with a pack of wolves." But hey, free food!

 

[love_u2_adam]

every one i love dies around Christmas......it's depressing really..but what ever i still kinda like it...some where..i don't like the money part about it

 

[girlhappy]

I stopped liking Christmas when my Mum died 2 summers ago.

Maybe that will change when i have kids of my own.

For now, like Lies said my grandma loves it so i try my best for her.

To all those who will find this Christmas hard for whatever reason.

I am sending much love your way

 

[U2 Bliss]

Also, every now and again my friends for some reason or another, can't spend these holidays with their own families, so they come over to our place. It's like a refuge.

Hmm your place sounds like mine at christmas - we get all the waifs and strays now.

After my Dad passed away christmas was just not worth bearing to think about . The first year was a really tough year to get through and the thought of celebrating christmas was the least of our plans. We did however decide to carry on with my Dad's family tradition of a Champagne Breakfast in our garden on Christmas morning . The invite went to a few close friends to join us and it helped us get through that first christmas with a little bit of ease. Ten years later, the invite has been extended - word got around - friends and their families, neighbours, waifs, strays, backpackers come and join us now. Its like a huge family gathering - my Dad would have loved it.

So as i said in an earlier post, if you can't be with family be with friends it really helps you get through this difficult time.

Oh and just incase if you are thinking "a breakfast outside in the garden" I'm in Sunny Australia....so its just PERFECT.

 

[mandy1973]

I'm kinda over Christmas a bit these days. My mum died a few years back now, so its never been quite the same. There was only me, my dad and my brother here, but this year my brother moved to the other side of the country, and my dad's going up there to spend christmas with him, his wife and new baby...while I'm here unable to get holidays from work. So I'll be working most of christmas.
I will spend christmas day with my hubby's family, who i do love, but it's just not the same.
I was also REALLY hoping to have had a baby or at least been pregnant by this christmas too, but that hasn't happened, so that's another downer. I think it won't be until i finally do have children of my own that i will really truly enjoy christmas again.

 

[absintheminded]

I tried spending my christmas with my cousin and aunt and just heard that they told my mom that they didn't want me for christmas. Which is making my mother mad as hell and making my holidays suck.

 

[girlhappy]

I have spent Christmas day with my family, still i feel desperate. I am sorry to hear that, absin.I feel for you.
Although i was with my cousin and her beautiful family, i still feel loneliness (well, when i got home i was in that lovely mood again)instead of faith, i suppose. I was hoping to get a call from a boy i really love - nothing- there is no wonder in Gods plans for me.
The greatest misery of life is that there are no suprises - says Morrissey and he is so right. Just few false alams now and then (or never). Yea, with isolation, deperation etc. is even harder to cope these days, i guess. It will pass, it will pass....

 

[MrsSpringsteen]

I don't blame anyone for feeling down at Christmas, but in general Christmas is a time of unrealistic expectations meeting unrealistic notions of what you should have, do, and be. I find myself feeling down right now just because of certain family issues and certain unrealistic expectations I have of Christmas-ones that I realized a long time ago would never happen yet somehow I cling to them still. The start is in recognizing that and trying to change your mindset. It's one day that is not normally going to result in any permanent (or sometimes even temporary) change in your family relationships, your love life if that's what you're into, or your happiness.

The best you can do is focus on what you do have rather than what you don't have-and do at least one thing to help others such as a charity or someone you know who could use some help. That's what I do and it does help me feel better. When everything else is stripped away, that's what Christmas is all about and what it will always be about. You don't have to be religious in any way to believe in that, and believing in and doing that can result in permanent change.

There are always surprises in life when you can surprise yourself- and no one else can do that for you or make you happy or not lonely. That's just my experience , not to judge you or anyone. Some of the truly loneliest people I know are surrounded by boyfriends/girlfriends, family, and friends.

 

[Lila64]

very well put Mrs. S

 

[girlhappy]

I
There are always surprises in life when you can surprise yourself- and no one else can do that for you or make you happy or not lonely. That's just my experience , not to judge you or anyone. Some of the truly loneliest people I know are surrounded by boyfriends/girlfriends, family, and friends.

Yes, there isa truth in that. But REALLY, how can someone be truly lonely with all that?You really know this people?

 

[MrsSpringsteen]

Yes I do, and I think they're lonely because they focus on superficial things and on depending on externals and material things and other people for their happiness. For me it is the ultimate truth that true happiness really does only come from within and from being happy with what kind of person you are. I think loneliness comes from not realizing that and from not accepting that and thus filling your life with unsatisfactory and unfulfilling bs and people. Just my take on it.

I thought I was lonely last year because I had been so hurt by some people that I stayed to myself, but the truth is that I felt so good because I learned so much through that and really came out a better person. And I was by myself doing so and honestly I never really felt all that lonely.

 

[girlhappy]

But you still need friends,right? I know for a fact that fulfillment comes through love and union. I value compassion and true friendship very much. You dont need to be alone to acomplish some things, or ....i am not sure i quite undesrtand that.

 

[redhotswami]

Well, yes, friends are important. But I personally believe that one must feel truly grounded in herself. If you don't believe in yourself, or know yourself, then who will?

Or...I could be missing the point of your post. sorry, but I thought I'd add something.

 

[indra]

Yes, there isa truth in that. But REALLY, how can someone be truly lonely with all that?You really know this people?

People sure as hell can be truly lonely while surrounded by people, even "family." My mother said she was never more lonely than when she was married. And it wasn't because she expected lots of "stuff" either. Sometimes family isn't all it's cracked up to be. Don't ever think that all couples (married or otherwise) have love and companionship. Many are completely miserable.

 

[Lemon Grrrrrl]

My father-in-law passed away Christmas Day 2000. Christmas was never a big deal for me because I come from a highly dysfunctional family, but Mr. LG has many fond family memories, and this was really difficult for the both of us to get through. (I got really lucky with most of my in-laws - I love them very much!) We had moved out of state that year and came down to visit for the holidays, and then that happened, we ended up having to make funeral arrangements and the like. I spent that New Year's (the Millennium) by myself on a plane back home because I had to go back to work. Everyone on the shuttle ride home was talking about where they'd come from or where they were going, and I didn't want to participate in the discussion, because I had just buried my father-in-law. Mr. LG spent the first few days of the new year tending to his father's will.

So now, we just basically have a nice quiet evening by ourselves, make a few phone calls, he cooks (I am so spoiled), we exchange presents, we watch football.

 

[Lila64]

 

[MrsSpringsteen]

Sometimes family isn't all it's cracked up to be. Don't ever think that all couples (married or otherwise) have love and companionship. Many are completely miserable.

Yes indeed, and friends can really be untrue and not real friends - or so superficial.

Yet at Christmas many people somehow feel compelled to deny all that and to pretend and to compare themselves to others-and those comparisons are based on perceptions that are false and so far from reality.

Be your own best friend-and that doesn't mean in a conceited way. And true friendships will follow.

 

[girlhappy]

In my experience "happiness is a sad song" for some of my friends.Meaning:the more they have (of the real blessings- great families jobs, love..etc),they are less generous and sympathetic which is paradox, actually. But, it is true(although it hurts me very much and it should be other way round).

 

[Salome]

some people here make Scrooge seem like a happy wee fellow

if you want to be happy then try to become happy
smile a bit more often
pick up the phone and call the people you want to hear from
look a bit more often at the couples around you who are still madly in love, there might be more of them around than you think
(personally I am still madly in love with my girl)

it's called Christmas CHEER for a good reason

 

[verte76]

I don't like Christmas, either. It's stress city. I'm very shy and heck, I'm autistic, and I detest parties. I average a gaffe every party.