Am I spoiled?

[absintheminded]

The problem is that the GHB is only in your system and is out of your system really quickly. Because I was not breathing and smelled of alcohol, they thought I overdosed on alcohol, perhaps drugs. So they took my blood and did a toxicology test. My Blood alcohol level, stated here on my medical record they mailed me, was at a "staggering" 0.11% when I was brought in. That's what, I'm not a "rock scientist" but I'm guessing, it's about four or five beers, maybe six at the most?
Talking with my friends later after the incident we all realised that I was GHB'd, the symptoms were the same. When I told my mother, she didn't buy it, and wanted the medical record sent to us. Finally she read it (it came two weeks ago) and she was puzzled. An "overdose" of alcohol consisted of .20% or more to get where I was. We saw the drug screenings, NO drugs were in my system.
My mother explained that it would be a good idea for me to go anyway since it was my drinking that brought me to the whole situation anyhow.
I agreed. I already quit my job and moved out of my apt...so, why not.
Like I said, I have never gotten out of control or fucked up my life by drinking. But I would really like to take a time out because my life was going a bit too fast, even for my liking. I made good money, had A LOT of friends, and was an important part of a very social crowd. And my parents stated simply that my family would turn their back on me if I didn't go...they did it intervention style. My parents and my Godfather. They really thought I drank myself to near death at the time, soo take that into consideration.

I don't know what you mean by "Sober people don't go to rehab."
Do you mean "non-alcoholics" don't go to rehab?

 

[absintheminded]

Did they find GHB in your system at the hospital? How did your parent's not know?

And why did you agree to quit if you don't think you have a problem?

My parents didn't know because I was on holiday in Hawaii, a thousand miles from them. The doctor just told my mother that I was in the ER and was unconcscious and by law that was all they could tell them.

Honestly at the time of the GHB drugging, I didn't know I was drugged. My friend told me that I only had like five drinks and that was the span of four hours and I should never have been out like that...So then when I went to see a counselor, I told him that I drank so much that I passed out and was rushed to an emergency room...I seriously thought I had done that.

 

[BonoIsMyMuse]

So in other words you have no actual proof that it was GHB--you and your friends just decided it was?

 

[absintheminded]

You can't get "Proof" of being GHB'd unless you ask for the test within THIRTY MINUTES of ingesting the drug. Ask any doctor.

My BAC level should conclude that I wasn't just drunk.

It is what it is and medical professionals agree. Both the ER doctor and my counselor.

 

[BVS]

You can't get "Proof" of being GHB'd unless you ask for the test within THIRTY MINUTES of ingesting the drug. Ask any doctor.

My BAC level should conclude that I wasn't just drunk.

It is what it is and medical professionals agree. Both the ER doctor and my counselor.

This is what's not adding up, GHB is detectable for 24 to 48 hours. So if it didn't show up on your toxology report how do you know you were drugged?

Here's a good website that states how long drugs are detectable:

http://health.rutgers.edu/drugs/DrugChart.htm

The only reason I ask is your posts point towards a tendency to lay blame on others. Yes, from your posts you seem to have had a shitty past but you also don't seem to be taking responsibility for some things...

 

[martha]

My friend told me that I only had like five drinks and that was the span of four hours

Five drinks in four hours is a lot.

You don't know how many drinks you had?!

Like I said, sober people don't go to rehab.

 

[corianderstem]

You obviously have a lot going on, and I'm not quite sure what kind of response you were looking for with this thread. You asked one question, but when people addressed other things, you became very defensive. And obviously, we don't know the whole story of what's going on in your life, only you know that.

I think your best bet is to work all of this out with a counselor, whether that's in rehab or outside of rehab. I don't think this is something you will be able to hash out with strangers on the internet, at least not without getting angry or frustrated.

And really, why do that to yourself here when you'll likely face those emotions on your own as you start to work through all of this?

The important thing is that you take care of yourself.

 

[absintheminded]

This is what's not adding up, GHB is detectable for 24 to 48 hours. So if it didn't show up on your toxology report how do you know you were drugged?

Here's a good website that states how long drugs are detectable:

http://health.rutgers.edu/drugs/DrugChart.htm

The only reason I ask is your posts point towards a tendency to lay blame on others. Yes, from your posts you seem to have had a shitty past but you also don't seem to be taking responsibility for some things...

The ER doctor told me that GHB probably wouldn't have showed up in my system...
So did my counselor.
But they weren't looking for GHB, they were mainly concerned with alcohol, and did a toxicology report to see if I had maybe overdosed on drugs.
I don't know, that's what the doctors told me about GHB being detected in your blood system. Maybe I misheard them, or maybe they said it wrong.
The main point was was my ER doctor showed me that my BAC level at the time I was in the ambulance showed a 0.11%, which is not a lot, and not enough to make me comatose like I was. And the clues that the guys we didn't know very well kept buying us shots, not beers, that we had asked for. Their overall behavior was weird after we thought about it. It was my fault though to overlook that and totally trust them. I was just so excited about the concert and being in Hawaii with a lot of my friends that I wasn't thinking clearly. But i have never ever passed out due to drinking five or six drinks, ever. And my friend said that while i left to go dance with a guy, that the guy that bought me my drink offered her his shot...and she refused, and she said that he called her a bad name, but later she saw him giving it away to another female. She didn't bring this to my attention until after the fact. And NO we're no longer friends.

Yes I knew how many drinks I had, but the thing was, my parents were grilling me and saying that I was lying about how many drinks I had, so I had Sandy there and she agreed that we only had about five or six drinks each, the reason I say five or six because the beers at the concert were quite huge and the guys bought us shots, one of which I didn't take- I left it at the bar). . We had one beer at the concert which was about 8ish9ishpm... then took off at midnight (or does anyone know what time the U2 concert got over?) and an hour later started partying with a big group of people from 1am to four am. I'm not arguinng with the fact that I have a problem with partying or drinking.
But I'm not saying that I'm lving with my parents because I fucked up badly. I did it because they asked me to and I don't want them mad at me or to worry about me.

 

[absintheminded]

Also, what things have I not claimed responsibility for?

 

[BVS]

The main point was was my ER doctor showed me that my BAC level at the time I was in the ambulance showed a 0.11%, which is not a lot, and not enough to make me comatose like I was.

Actually that's high, not passed out level, but it's high, but there are a lot of other things that could have led to passing out. And GHB would have showed up in the tox report.

 

[absintheminded]

You obviously have a lot going on, and I'm not quite sure what kind of response you were looking for with this thread. You asked one question, but when people addressed other things, you became very defensive. And obviously, we don't know the whole story of what's going on in your life, only you know that.

I think your best bet is to work all of this out with a counselor, whether that's in rehab or outside of rehab. I don't think this is something you will be able to hash out with strangers on the internet, at least not without getting angry or frustrated.

And really, why do that to yourself here when you'll likely face those emotions on your own as you start to work through all of this?

The important thing is that you take care of yourself.

Sorry if I come off as being defensive, but I'm answering questions, at first i was getting a bit defensive then I reminded myself that you guys don't know me. But I'm not being defensive, I'm only answering the questions that people are asking. This obviously has a history and I shouldn't have asked the question without the whole history....
because now I'm being portrayed as a whiny, irresponsible, drunk...
not as a 29 year old girl that has some problems, yes I'll admit, I do party more than I should, but I'm not married, and I dont' have children, and I can keep a job. And I've grown up helping my mom and taking care of her children. Taking care of responsibilities that weren't mine...and now I'm being told that I haven't been responsible for my actions? That's what I don't understand.
Just because I'm living iwth my mom for a few weeks does not make me irresponsible.

 

[BVS]

Also, what things have I not claimed responsibility for?

Well the fact that there could have been something else that led to your passing out rather than GHB, and the fact that you keep saying you didn't have a problem yet went clean and sober on your own says something...

I worked a short stint in a dependency program...

 

[absintheminded]

Actually that's high, not passed out level, but it's high, but there are a lot of other things that could have led to passing out. And GHB would have showed up in the tox report.

I was GHB'd. I discussed it with my ER doctor, and that is what he told me. And that's that.
I discussed possibilities with him then he looked over it and agreed that I was. He was the one who told me that it wasn't high and that I should never have passed out and had arythmia (sp) due to having a .11% BAC level. Actually, just a few years ago, a .11% level was .01% over the legal driving limit. So it's not that high. My doctor is the one that overlooked my file and ruled out every other possibility that cuold have made me pass out and nearly die, ok.
So I am telling you what my doctor said, my counselor said, and what my friend and I put together on.
I didn't just make this up or say that I was GHB'd.

I was drugged, and that is a fact.

 

[absintheminded]

Well the fact that there could have been something else that led to your passing out rather than GHB, and the fact that you keep saying you didn't have a problem yet went clean and sober on your own says something...

I worked a short stint in a dependency program...

As what in the administrative department?

I was drugged and this has been told to myself by my doctor.

I've admitted that i do not like my lifestyle and therefore am changing it.

So there, I have assumed every responsibility possible.

 

[snowbunny00774]

I'm not a rock scientist either but it really sounds like you will benefit from some time in rehab, if for nothing other than the access you will have to counselors and pyschologists (hopefully, you seem like you have a lot of baggage that it would be a relief to get rid of).

Good Luck

 

[BVS]

I was GHB'd. I discussed it with my ER doctor, and that is what he told me. And that's that.
I discussed possibilities with him then he looked over it and agreed that I was. He was the one who told me that it wasn't high and that I should never have passed out and had arythmia (sp) due to having a .11% BAC level. Actually, just a few years ago, a .11% level was .01% over the legal driving limit. So it's not that high. My doctor is the one that overlooked my file and ruled out every other possibility that cuold have made me pass out and nearly die, ok.
So I am telling you what my doctor said, my counselor said, and what my friend and I put together on.
I didn't just make this up or say that I was GHB'd.

I was drugged, and that is a fact.

Fine, I'm just telling you the facts. I'm telling you what many scientist and doctors have agreed upon. But I don't know the whole story and I haven't looked at your records, so I don't know.

But anyone who tells you 30 minutes is a fool. I can't think of any drug that passes through your system that quickly.

 

[BVS]

As what in the administrative department?

I was drugged and this has been told to myself by my doctor.

I've admitted that i do not like my lifestyle and therefore am changing it.

So there, I have assumed every responsibility possible.

ha ha

No doctor in their right mind would tell you "you've been drugged" without evidence. It's illegal for one thing. They could have told you that ruling out everything, that you may have been drugged, but they can't tell with absolute.

I'm just glad you are getting help. Good luck to you.

 

[absintheminded]

I'm not a rock scientist either but it really sounds like you will benefit from some time in rehab, if for nothing other than the access you will have to counselors and pyschologists (hopefully, you seem like you have a lot of baggage that it would be a relief to get rid of).

Good Luck

Thank you. And yes i do have quite a baggage load of shit that I Need off my shoulders. It's too bad that when I'm away from my mother that I'm fine but when I'm wiht her I'm reduced to a child, a child that owes her and a horrible rotten child at that.

The counselor that I went to see though, suggested outpatient therapy, meetings and weekly activities, and some "family" therapy with a psychologist. He did not recommend a 28 day program, and was forced to when my mom called him, and agreed to after I asked him to do the 28 day program.

I know that i may or may not need it, but I want it. Want and need are two different things. I realise that I go out too much and I focus my life on being the center of attention, THE party girl, THE popular girl that is always out and is at all the parties.
I'm sick of that life.
Although I didn't have real problems that RAGING alcoholics do, like missing work, losing jobs, it wasn't really a HUGE problem, but it still is a problem. I spent my paychecks on nice going out outfits, would easily pay for everyone, so I'd foot a $300 bill.
Yes I drink, but am I out of control?
I don't think so, and my doctors and counselors do not think so.

Now if I lose everything like I will if i dont do rehab, I might be afraid that i might lose control someday. Which is why I want rehab.
And every time I saw a psychologist, my mother never wanted any part of it. This time I will force her.

 

[absintheminded]

Fine, I'm just telling you the facts. I'm telling you what many scientist and doctors have agreed upon. But I don't know the whole story and I haven't looked at your records, so I don't know.

But anyone who tells you 30 minutes is a fool. I can't think of any drug that passes through your system that quickly.

That's why I was confused! I told my counselor at my initial intake. I told him what happened that night and he said for me to look into maybe I was drugged. I dont know anything really about GHB. But when I talked to my doctor he said that he ruled out everything else.

Maybe I misheard my counselor...

 

[BVS]

It doesn't matter, you are taking steps to move on and get better.





I'm sorry if I got a little preachy earlier, it's just that working with addicts(not that I'm saying you are one) is frustrating because they will often find any excuse to give for their actions during the denial stage, if they ever get out of that stage they will own up to the things they did and will eventually move on(which is always the goal). This is one of the reasons my stint with working with addicts was short lived, it was just too difficult emotionally. I give all props to those that can actually do it, just as I give all props to those that can go through rehab.

 

[absintheminded]

Thank you. And no you weren't getting preachy. I do think that I misheard my doctor and counselor and stuff about the GHB...but we all really do feel I was GHB'd. And even though that was the case, I really do feel like I need to slow down and refocus my life. It's not about working hard all week and going out on the weekends and being social all the time and getting drunk and being a mess.

It's just that I've never had flags raised about my drinking, is all. And I know that night I did not drink too much.

I am taking steps to correct my life. I know I will probably get out of hand one day, since I don't plan on having children and I don't plan on getting married, it's just not for me...but yeah, the life of going out every weekend is just too much.

I'm not Britney or Lindsay. This is real for me.

 

[WildHoneyAlways]

Did you not read the circumstances? Obviously you didn't. I was GHB'd and my parents thought that I have a bad problem with drinking. My mother told me that if I didn't quit my job, leave my apartment and go to rehab, I would be disowned.

I still don't understand how your mother made you quit your job. There are worse things than being "disowned."

 

[Dwight Schrute]

I still don't understand how your mother made you quit your job. There are worse things than being "disowned."

Especially since you apparently have a poor relationship with your mother.

 

[absintheminded]

Disowned by family, not just my mother.

I was given an ultimatum, what's there not to understand?

 

[Lancemc]

I haven't read the whole thread, just the first page really, but there is one thing that stands out.

You shouldn't be forced to pay for the other kids' entertainment/gas money and stuff out of your own pocket. That's the one thing that really seemed wrong about that whole situation.

 

[cell]

her mother forcing her to quit her job and move out of her apartment is wrong too.

 

[martha]

But how does a mother force an adult to do things?

She may apply pressure and be awful about it, but force?

 

[Irvine511]

You shouldn't be forced to pay for the other kids' entertainment/gas money and stuff out of your own pocket. That's the one thing that really seemed wrong about that whole situation.

yeah, i agree.

it seems like the mother is exploiting the child in this situation. sure, it's one thing to open your house, but what's being expected in lieu of rent seems quite unfair.

that said, being 29, it's quite obvious that this is a bad situation for all involved, and steps must be taken to get out of the situation.

also, it seems like your weekend behavior is like that of a 23/24 year old. you're nearly 30. time to stop making going out the focus of your life. everyone does that for a while, and that's why you're supposed to drink shitty beer in dive bars so you don't run up a $300 tab.

the mother sounds like bad news, though. get out and keep her at a distance until you're at a point where she cannot wield any sort of power -- financial, emotional, or otherwise -- over you and your life.

 

[cell]

meh. bad choice of word. forget i said it. ultimatums are never fun to deal with, tho.

 

[Irvine511]

But I'm not saying that I'm lving with my parents because I fucked up badly. I did it because they asked me to and I don't want them mad at me or to worry about me.

this strikes me as a big part of what's going on.

it does seem to me that they've pounced on the drinking thing -- and, in your defense, while you were certainly drunk, 0.11% is not what we'd probably call "shit-faced" let alone passing-out drunk -- in order to control you. the intervention sounds somewhat dramatic, but then if i had someone i loved carried off in an ambulence, then i'd be concerned to.

what i think has happened is you seem to need their approval -- "don't want them mad at me" -- and if you were 19, i'd understand, but you're not. you need to appreciate their concern, and admit that you want to change your lifestyle, but the Hawaii incident was the result of a potential drugging -- and the .11% backs you up here, that seems an appropriate BAC for 5-6 drinks -- and not you drinking yourself into a stupor. but you're letting them use this incident to get you to move back in and quit what you said was a high-paying, good job.

get some help -- counseling seems more appropriate than rehab, imho -- and get away from them. and change your lifestyle.

they're your parents. sometimes, our parents can be very destructive influences in our lives. they will always love you, but that doesn't mean that how they think they show their love is a healthy thing.