a lovely boy issue. .

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love_u2_adam

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well i really like this kid, but he says he doesn't date. he's in 2 bands and plays both guitar and drums(I've recently connected with the groupie thing once again :drool: musicans) and i want to try and get him to ask me out, but you know i don't wanna be all desperate, ya know! i havent had a boyfriend in 5 months and I've just recently had my heart broken on retarded circumstances. and i know im over him well sort of not really i just tell myself that lol:). but ive liked this kid since the first day i met him which was like a year ago. we hung out on Thursday, and i loved it!!! i just don't wanna go all desperado on his ass cause im not, i could live carefree with out a boyfriend. this is just the first kid ive actually really liked in like 8 months. he's like me almost..loves old rock and roll and we love the same bands. but I'm scared of rejection and him not liking me or finding me to needy or annoying. like he told me he was interested and "could make an exception" on the not dating thing. but im scared to be like wanna hang out or something cause the whole desperado shit. i really wonder what is wrong with me sometimes.:slant: any advice??
 
Does he seem the type to push you away for being honest?

And with that nugget i'm of to practice my own guitar skills (since I can multiply your 5 months many times over perhaps I have been lax in social commitments over the years :rolleyes: )
 
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i dont know. like I've told him i like him. I'm just not the type who comes out easy. im flirty and outgoing but when it comes to guys i like im shy cause rejection is horrible and im scared of everything they'll think. and half of me thinks im not good enough.
 
I know from experience how hard it is to overcome that rejection thing, actually not so much overcome it as just shy away from any contact with said object of affection but rationally by asking your either going to be in the same situation (alone) or you get a shot at being together, it's a no-loose game.

Of course the concept of people being honest with their feelings goes against basically all human behaviour so it's just crazy talk.

Taking a chance is better than staying in uncertainty, it really is, you know how you feel - it's really all on him.
 
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If he's said he's interested, I'd go for it. I don't really think it's worth it for you to spend so much time worrying about it, when you could just find out from him. If he doesn't want to, it doesn't have to be terribly awkward, you guys could still hang out.
 
love_u2_adam said:
i havent had a boyfriend in 5 months

omg 5 months?!!?!?1?1?1?1 that is liek 4EVER!!!!11

if he told you he was interested, then I don't see why you'd need to worry too much really. There's a chance it won't work out but it sounds like things will go your way. Keep hanging out with him and see what happens :up:
 
Re: Re: a lovely boy issue. .

AtomicBono said:


omg 5 months?!!?!?1?1?1?1 that is liek 4EVER!!!!11

i didn't mean it like zomfg 5 months im gonna die. i meant it like well ya im putting it out..its more like 8 months though lol now that i think about it.:huh:
'
this was kinda what he said:
me: haha you aren't interested in me are you
him: i am but im weird like that

fuck fuck fuck:censored:
 
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If he's being a weirdo about everything, fuck him and move onto someone else. You don't want to be fixated on someone who leaves you hanging like that.

Now I want to be in a relationship, the saddest part is I don't really care what kind: the actual deep, somewhat meaningful relationship, or the purely shallow, barely any strings attached make-out-a-thon.

The latter is way too enticing.
 
Doesnt really sound like he wants to be in a relationship, I dunno.
On one hand I feel like saying dont waste your time, but on the other its like hell why not.

:shrug:
 
Play hard to get. Flirt with him and then make HIM want to hang out with you more. Let him see your best side.... and then make him ask you out. :D

Men love challenges.
 
Babydoll said:
Play hard to get. Flirt with him and then make HIM want to hang out with you more. Let him see your best side.... and then make him ask you out. :D

Men love challenges.

Sorry, but no. Just no. This is called playing games and it rarely, if ever, leads anywhere. From my own experience, any guy worth being with doesn't like games. And if he does, be careful, because chances are he will play them with you.

If you are interested in him, act interested. He won't know otherwise. Most people don't want to pursue someone they don't think they have a chance with. If he doesn't want to date right now, there really isn't anything you can do about it. If you push the issue, chances are good, you are going to drive him away. All you can do is just continue to be friends and let him make up his own mind.
 
Babydoll said:
Play hard to get. Flirt with him and then make HIM want to hang out with you more. Let him see your best side.... and then make him ask you out. :D

Men love challenges.

:|

Cosmo just called. They want their July 1952 issue back.

Bad idea. Games = never good. :down:

ETA: ylime said what I wanted to say much better, and with way less sarcasm. :wink:
 
LarryMullen's_POPAngel said:


:|

Cosmo just called. They want their July 1952 issue back.


:giggle:

Here's my advice, for what it's worth: If he doesn't want to date, don't become that scary chick who wants to change his mind. As it turns out, most guys don't want to be some one's "project." (oh yeah, i've learned that one the hard way. :wink: )
 
WildHoneyAlways said:


:giggle:

Here's my advice, for what it's worth: If he doesn't want to date, don't become that scary chick who wants to change his mind. As it turns out, most guys don't want to be some one's "project." (oh yeah, i've learned that one the hard way. :wink: )

:up:
If he said he doesn't date, that's all you need to know. Be friends and don't expect anything to come from it. You've told him you like him that's all you can do, no regrets.:) I know as girls we hear what we want to hear and it gets us in trouble.
 
I agree. Respect his wishes and don't try to change his mind, or you will drive him away.

Like recently I had this issue with this guy who I told I didn't want to date. He was persistent and didn't seem to want to take no for an answer and hinted at "changing my policy" in the future. He just didn't get it. I am no longer in any contact with him whatsoever.

Of course, he was also nearly 20 so that's a whole other issue. But if he weren't such a creepy, forceful pedophile who clearly didn't give a shit what I told him I wanted to do, maybe we could still be friends. :shrug:

Not saying you are like that. :wink:

Just don't let yourself become the stalker girl, is all I'm saying. The only type of people you'll attract are the ones you don't want to be with. :no:
 
LarryMullen's_POPAngel said:




ETA: ylime said what I wanted to say much better, and with way less sarcasm. :wink:

Believe me, that was the edited version. :shifty:

Statements like that remind me of that little gem of a book, The Rules, with its don't make yourself too available and ditch him if there isn't a ring on your finger in a year bullshit. I'm not an over the top feminist, but really, women need to stop following outdated Victorian era crap like that and start treating guys the way they want to be treated themselves. Nothing else ever works, especially not a catch and trap approach. Relationships are suppose to grow when people have mutual feelings for each other. If one person isn't feeling it, it just isn't to be.
 
guys that don't want to date are rarely opposed to making out. The two have little to do with one another. If that's what you want nothing wrong with that but don't go in convinced that you're going to win him over.
 
love_u2_adam said:
but that's the thing.....


here in alberta...ether a guy is nice and gay or mean but hot..or else supper ugly and supper nice(Mr. personality style). oh well:shrug:

That's everywhere. Get used to it!

If you find yourself chasing all the guys you want but who don't want you then good luck and have a miserable life. Better off you learn now than much later on.
 
He's just not that into you.

Move on, save yourself a lot of time and grief.
 
WildHoneyAlways said:


:giggle:

Here's my advice, for what it's worth: If he doesn't want to date, don't become that scary chick who wants to change his mind. As it turns out, most guys don't want to be some one's "project." (oh yeah, i've learned that one the hard way. :wink: )

Did u try to convert a Cubs fan to the Sox? That never works. :wink:

It's like I told you before. Maybe some guys like that game thing...but if a girl acts as if she doesn't want to be with me or something, I usually leave it be and nothing happens.
 
love_u2_adam said:
but umm we made out...did i forget to say that lolz

:uhoh:

:reject: now what...omgz i might die hahah

Doesn't that sort of sound like he took advantage of your feelings? Do you really want to date a guy who would make out with someone that quickly? Maybe you should consider whether this is healthy or not? Those are questions that you should stop and ask yourself before you go any further.

love_u2_adam said:
but that's the thing.....


here in alberta...ether a guy is nice and gay or mean but hot..or else supper ugly and supper nice(Mr. personality style). oh well:shrug:

If you believe things like that you're going to set yourself up for a broken heart with every crush you get. As a girl it might seem that way but there are tons of nice guys out there. The biggest problem is that they usually aren't that popular and in turn not that visible. In the end, the best guys are the ones who are there for you. So keep your eyes open for those kinds of people. :)

Hope everything turns out for you! :hug:
 
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