My Name is Dalton

[Dalton]

My name is Dalton.

I've got a degree in philosophy.

I make a lot of money.

I've been shot at, stabbed and have broken more than 30 bones.

I'm the best there is at what I do.

I'm a Cooler.

 

[GirlsAloudFan]

 

[Jive Turkey]

My name is Dalton
I live by the liquor store
I live upstate from you
I sleep on the reservation floor

And if you hear something late at night
Some kind of scalping, some kind of fight
Just don't ask me what it was
Just don't ask me what it was
Just don't ask me what it was

 

[LemonMelon]

No need to add, Sicy.

 

[bono_212]

 

[No spoken words]

10:43pm ET

 

[bono_212]

Big Asteroid to Zoom By Earth This Weekend | 2013 ET | Space.com

???

 

[No spoken words]

Lol, no. NO ASHLEY WRONG.

 

[IWasBored]

I'm starting to understand you people now. Sharknado + knife dog = dalton?

 

[bono_212]

Lol, no. NO ASHLEY WRONG.

You just don't want to admit that I cracked the code.

 

[No spoken words]

There's actually a reference there. But you had to BE THERE.

 

[IWasBored]

There's actually a reference there. But you had to BE POWERJUICE.

 

[bono_212]

There's actually a reference there. But you had to BE THERE.

Well I assumed as much (I mean, come on, Dog X), but I google cross-check everyone's posts these days, just sharing my results.

 

[No spoken words]

Well I assumed as much (I mean, come on, Dog X), but I google cross-check everyone's posts these days, just sharing my results.

http://www.u2interference.com/forum...ng-olympics-thread-188490-43.html#post5365749

And it just kinda became a tiny little thing from there. A thing that refuses to completely die.

That thread, by the way, was a lot of fun, or so I thought.

 

[cobl04]

That thread reads like a lot of fun.

I have never understood any of these jokes regarding Dalton, though I admire his posting. He is responsible for one of my favourite segments of posts here ever and also started an RMT thread early, preventing me from starting my first ever one.

I'll show myself out.

 

[No spoken words]

http://www.u2interference.com/forum...ng-olympics-thread-188490-48.html#post5366026

 

[bono_212]

That thread is one of the best ever. It is the very life-blood of friendship and positivity that we see all too infrequently on this board.

Ah, those were banner days.

 

[Hewson]

My name is Dalton
I'm carrying the wheel
Thanks for all you've shown us
But this is how we feel

Come sit next to me
Pour yourself some tea
Just like grandma made
When we couldn't find sleep

Things were better then
Once but never again
We've all left the den
Let me tell you 'bout it

The choo-choo train left right on time
A ticket costs only your mind
The driver said, "Hey man, we go all the way"
Of course, we were willing to pay

My name is Swayze
I gotta box full of your toys
They're fresh out of batteries
But they're still makin' noise, makin' noise

Tell me what to do
Now the tank is dry
Now this wheel is flat
And you know what else?

Guess what I received
In the mail today
Words of deep concern
From my little brother

Building's not going as he planned
The foreman has injured his hand
The dozer will not clear a path
The driver swears he learned his math

The workers are going home
The workers are going home
The workers are going home
The workers are going home
Yeah!

The workers are going home
The workers are going home
The workers are going home
Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!

My name is Dalton

 

[elevated_u2_fan]

My name is Dalton
I live by the liquor store
I live upstate from you
I sleep on the reservation floor
And if you hear something late at night
Some kind of scalping, some kind of fight
Just don't ask me what it was
Just don't ask me what it was
Just don't ask me what it was

This made me laugh more than it should have

 

[Danny Boy]

My name is Dalton.

I've got a degree in philosophy.

I make a lot of money.

I've been shot at, stabbed and have broken more than 30 bones.

I'm the best there is at what I do.

I'm a Cooler.

I used to f...

Never mind.

 

[corianderstem]

Hi! My name is ...
Hi! My name is ...
Hi! My name is ...

slicka slicka slim Dalton!

 

[Mrs. Garrison]

I may have accidentally chopped my neighbors head off last night with a machete. I was sleepwalking again, like I often do, and in the dark sleep its possible I went for a stroll without getting caught in one of my many booby-traps or setting off the alarm.

So I awaken this morning in blood stained sheets, which isn't all that unusual, except for the realization that id never seen these particular sheets before and have no idea where they'd come from.

Also, the machete was lying in the bathtub and covered in blood, with some remaining tissue and bone fragments on the cutting edge.

I cleaned up and went to work as I normally do, and after a long day at the orfice I came home to discover a crime scene down the street. Police cars, crime tape, a news crew, and the coroners office were all present. Naturally I reacted as though nothing was out of the ordinary and went on to walk my pet mountain lion around surburbia. I did have to clean some bloody remains off of his mouth before I took him out on the leash. He tends to take after my side of the family.

 

[Dalton]

My name is Dalton
I'm carrying the wheel
Thanks for all you've shown us
But this is how we feel

Come sit next to me
Pour yourself some tea
Just like grandma made
When we couldn't find sleep

Things were better then
Once but never again
We've all left the den
Let me tell you 'bout it

The choo-choo train left right on time
A ticket costs only your mind
The driver said, "Hey man, we go all the way"
Of course, we were willing to pay

My name is Swayze
I gotta box full of your toys
They're fresh out of batteries
But they're still makin' noise, makin' noise

Tell me what to do
Now the tank is dry
Now this wheel is flat
And you know what else?

Guess what I received
In the mail today
Words of deep concern
From my little brother

Building's not going as he planned
The foreman has injured his hand
The dozer will not clear a path
The driver swears he learned his math

The workers are going home
The workers are going home
The workers are going home
The workers are going home
Yeah!

The workers are going home
The workers are going home
The workers are going home
Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!

My name is Dalton

I forgot about this thread, but this brilliance can't go unrecognized.

No one got the reference?

 

[Dalton]

I used to f...

Never mind.

Nevermind, here's danny.

 

[bono_212]

Got the reference, just couldn't come up with a decent parody. Was surprised by how long it took to get to that one, actually.