The_acrobat
Rock n' Roll Doggie VIP PASS
A Thrisis is somewhere between a Quarter-life Crisis and a Mid-Life Crisis. I'm 33, happily married, with 2 kids (2 & 4 years old). I want this to be clear, that the problem doesn't really lay with my family.
My 20s were a whirlwind that I just got swept up in. It's really quite a blur. All I know is I had a good time, had a lot of friends, at some point in that decade I made the transition from aimless post-high school loser to wild party animal to a husband and father with a successful career. I feel the party that was my 20s ended naturally, on it's own. Eventually going to bars and getting wasted every weekend was simply not fun anymore.
I went through the "hangover phase" after this period in my life a couple years ago. I don't really wish to recreate the glory days. It's just that my life is SO BORING now. I'm sitting here at 12:30am because I don't want to go to bed. Because if I go to bed, then before you know it I'll wake up and have to go to work. I don't hate my job, but I don't love it. My family has grown accustomed to a certain lifestyle, so I have to keep this up. But when I look ahead into the forseeable future, I don't really get excited about anything. All I see is work... lots and lots of work.
I don't really have the kind of job where I meet new people, and can socialize within my job. In fact, my only co-workers are my Brother, my Father and my elderly Grandfather. We have clients we work with, but sometimes with them the less they know about me the better! We've got their business, let's not rock the boat too much!
I have no real hobbies or interests anymore. My "interests" these days include sitting on the internet and watching TV. I used to play guitar in a band, that was my outlet. But the band broke up, and I don't really have the time to devote to a new band. I play guitar alone sometimes, but it's so boring by myself. I live in a small town, about 45 minutes away from Columbus and Dayton, which is where most of my friends have moved to. I still have a lot of friends, but it gets harder all the time make that drive just to "hang out for awhile". All my friends who are married with kids have the same situation as me... BUSY. All my friends who are single and have no kids just want to get drunk all the time, or go to bars to find girls... which I have no interest in doing. I recently went out to dinner with a friend, and he drove. He ended up pulling up to a strip club and was like "we're going in. Just for a bit!" I begrudgingly went in, and just spent the entire time being happy that I was happily married, and thinking that I am never letting this friend drive again.
I am fully aware that I need to seize these moments with my kids while they're young... and I do just that. I enjoy every moment with them, they're already growing up so fast. But there is just a part of me that needs an OUTLET, something in my life that isn't based in "responsibility", like raising children and working. I'm an extrovert who is living the life of an introvert. My wife is currently going to school to be a teacher (she's in her late 20s, a little younger than me, but many years wiser). She has a lot going on in her life, with her classes and a social life in both school and the salon where she works part time. I find myself envious of the diversity in her day to day life.
I've tried telling myself that this is just what happens in your 30s. But I don't think that's necessarily how it has to be. I feel like my mind has turned into mush, and I'm just sort of halfway there all the time. I'm not really a daydreamer, it's kind of the opposite... there are just fewer thoughts in my head in general. I've become Comfortably Numb... but that very notion makes me uncomfortable.
Anybody else ever experience similar situations? I guess this is cheaper than a shrink!
My 20s were a whirlwind that I just got swept up in. It's really quite a blur. All I know is I had a good time, had a lot of friends, at some point in that decade I made the transition from aimless post-high school loser to wild party animal to a husband and father with a successful career. I feel the party that was my 20s ended naturally, on it's own. Eventually going to bars and getting wasted every weekend was simply not fun anymore.
I went through the "hangover phase" after this period in my life a couple years ago. I don't really wish to recreate the glory days. It's just that my life is SO BORING now. I'm sitting here at 12:30am because I don't want to go to bed. Because if I go to bed, then before you know it I'll wake up and have to go to work. I don't hate my job, but I don't love it. My family has grown accustomed to a certain lifestyle, so I have to keep this up. But when I look ahead into the forseeable future, I don't really get excited about anything. All I see is work... lots and lots of work.
I don't really have the kind of job where I meet new people, and can socialize within my job. In fact, my only co-workers are my Brother, my Father and my elderly Grandfather. We have clients we work with, but sometimes with them the less they know about me the better! We've got their business, let's not rock the boat too much!
I have no real hobbies or interests anymore. My "interests" these days include sitting on the internet and watching TV. I used to play guitar in a band, that was my outlet. But the band broke up, and I don't really have the time to devote to a new band. I play guitar alone sometimes, but it's so boring by myself. I live in a small town, about 45 minutes away from Columbus and Dayton, which is where most of my friends have moved to. I still have a lot of friends, but it gets harder all the time make that drive just to "hang out for awhile". All my friends who are married with kids have the same situation as me... BUSY. All my friends who are single and have no kids just want to get drunk all the time, or go to bars to find girls... which I have no interest in doing. I recently went out to dinner with a friend, and he drove. He ended up pulling up to a strip club and was like "we're going in. Just for a bit!" I begrudgingly went in, and just spent the entire time being happy that I was happily married, and thinking that I am never letting this friend drive again.
I am fully aware that I need to seize these moments with my kids while they're young... and I do just that. I enjoy every moment with them, they're already growing up so fast. But there is just a part of me that needs an OUTLET, something in my life that isn't based in "responsibility", like raising children and working. I'm an extrovert who is living the life of an introvert. My wife is currently going to school to be a teacher (she's in her late 20s, a little younger than me, but many years wiser). She has a lot going on in her life, with her classes and a social life in both school and the salon where she works part time. I find myself envious of the diversity in her day to day life.
I've tried telling myself that this is just what happens in your 30s. But I don't think that's necessarily how it has to be. I feel like my mind has turned into mush, and I'm just sort of halfway there all the time. I'm not really a daydreamer, it's kind of the opposite... there are just fewer thoughts in my head in general. I've become Comfortably Numb... but that very notion makes me uncomfortable.
Anybody else ever experience similar situations? I guess this is cheaper than a shrink!
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