All of your 'Letters' to 'Elvis' here, guys

The friendliest place on the web for anyone that follows U2.
If you have answers, please help by responding to the unanswered posts.
See posts with no answers
Bono Admits Entire Atomic Bomb Album Made During Coke Binge

"I guess you'd call it our red period," the Get On Your Boots hitmaker remarked.
 
This thread reminds me of my time served in a Turkish prison bathhouse. Well actually it was in the dungeon, the bathhouse was for the govt. I spent that year shackled and chained to a giant furnace, my duty was to keep the thing going so the bathhouse would have warm water. I drank steam and ate paint chips, occasional live scorpions, and bat droppings.

When they were done bathing, the govt would come down to the dungeon and force me to wrestle giant pigs while they watched and took bets. The winner would get urinated on, the loser would be trampled over by a herd of gay elephants.

Upon release I was flown to Bangladesh and operated on at a charity hospital. They removed several bullets but forgot to sew me up. I was then shipped off to India where it was discovered I would need a full neck replacement. The govt installed a brand new neck, which allowed me to rotate my head 360 degrees at will. Now that's something....I enjoy. Scares the shit out of people behind you at sporting events. Though it does require routine maintenance. Once the bearings got stuck mid-swivel and my head was locked facing to the rear. This made for an interesting traffic stop when I drove myself to the hospital...in reverse.

Now everything seems to be functioning properly. A few titanium rods in place and im like brand new. Its a bitch though when cold weather moves in, its also tough to get through airport security. Of course the aluminum plate in my head has the same effect on the TSA. At least I get to look forward to a full body cavity search whenever I enter an airport. Almost makes up for the time our plane crashed into a snowy mountain and I was stranded for six weeks and forced to eat several of the passengers and crewmembers.
 
McGuinness Denies Mandela Song Hastened Freedom Fighter's Passing

"No, I would say not," the enigmatic svengali murmured while sipping brandy and fondling himself in a sunken lounge.
 
Ahh McGuinness...

You know you're time has come....one ought to know.....when they've spent the last many days in the trophy room of their castle. Sipping brandy and staring at the heads of their opponents on display.

When there is no adversary left to kill, sure boredom would only dictate that one should set themselves on fire to see if they would indeed burn.

I woke up alone in my secluded fortress tucked into the hillside of a remote and dormant place. A foot of snow surrounded this place, where not even the tigers dare to roam. I surveyed my compound floor by empty floor, until I came upon the servants quarters and discovered the lifeless bodies of the help lying in a pool of dried blood, throats slashed and abdomens gutted.

Running out of spirits and medicinals is one thing, as one can always drink cough syrup and snort dried cocoa powder. A food shortage presents an entirely different problem, however. I haven't seen the forest bears for months and one can only eat so many cans of expired tuna.

I had been saving the proverbial last bullet for myself for instances like these. However it occurred to me I would get more satisfaction out of the event if I drew it out, long and full of suffering and agony. What can I say... I've always been one who favors torture over a quick kill?
 
Dear e|vis

i went to the zoo today. It was fun. Did you know they have a lot of animals at the zoo? Monkeys like to shit in their hand and eat it to make the other monkeys jea|ous.

I was like, don't do that, Yo!

Funny the most e|usive of all cats in the wild was the one who was most curious of me. Poor snow leopard had to have been hot.

SU1HLTIwMTQwNTI5LTAxNDQ2LmpwZw_zps45bc0d91.jpg


The tiger was pretty uptight, he kept pacing around and giving me dirty looks.

SU1HLTIwMTQwNTI5LTAxNDUyLmpwZw_zps73081ffb.jpg


The turtle was eating wild mushrooms. He was totally high i could tell. Poor guy was so fucked he couldnt figure how to get his head back into his shell.

SU1HLTIwMTQwNTI5LTAxNDU2LmpwZw_zps8bf7573b.jpg
 
Dear Elvis,

When I turned 33, it was a very good year, for climbing down off crosses, for tooth flosses, and brokeback hosses. Now I'm in the autumn of my years, chilling with a few dozen beers, reading a catalogue from sears...

yo.
 
Dear e|vis

which do you consider to be more fun of a danger to society, drunken dri\/ing or teXting while dri\/ing?

*sent from my smartphone while driving home insanely fast from extended happy hour
 
dear e|vis

yesterday it was 75 degrees outside. Today it only reached 40 degrees. The wind came down the plains like a plague and stripped the trees bare, many of their leaves still green. Others yellow, some brown, some orange, even red.

So today i made a great big pot of chili. The main ingredients were basic textbook chili; kidney beans, bell peppers, stewed tomatos, paste, chicken stock, mushrooms, onions, goats eye, *secret spices, and fresh pig brains.

It does wonders for the body & soul on a cold windy day like today. And those beans, with all of their fiber, will really clear you out, if you know what i mean. I wouldn't make any plans 30 min - 1 hour after dinner. Trust ME! :sexywink:

Anyway...so about that cold front that moved in like a pestilence....has anyone seen deathbear?
 
We have said Elvis was always such a prick and have said so since coming around this place in the POP-Disco times. Our group met this douche at a meetup and it cemented just how low-rent he always appeared to act on the website. We always thought it was because he had a big website to monitor and the internet wasn't that easy back then.. and there's a lot of weirdos like Melon and TheU2 posting... hmm.. yeah.. I guess that's all he had to do so there's really no excusing his douchiness. Glad to hear he's no longer a part of this place.

But he did create a beautiful and expansive U2 forum for those of us who loved the group and just were dying for a place to interact with others in the world who understood our bullshit reason for just how Miami really is genius instead of really just a shitty song mailed in to fill an album. That is his everlasting gift and for that gift many U2 fans should feel grateful. Not that we can share our excitement about a band we've been wanting to talk about on the internet all our lives and finally can.. but grateful that we can now bitch that our favorite band has decided that they don't want to take up the challenge and put out that one last great rock album. To close their final chapter and show the world that they truly are the greatest rock band ever. Instead... we now have a little more melodic Rolling Stones. Something we have always dreaded.
 
Drones aren't sexy though....

An entire lost generation would bet their mortal souls that holy salvation does not exist.

Only salvation for pay...society is based on rule by design. And faith has been replaced by the belief that our entire existence is complete bullshit.

Only secret power is true power, not the ones who seek it, but the ones who play in the shadows.

~The Christ of the poor
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

O
Better late than never “they” say…
Replies
1
Views
277
Headache in a Suitcase
Headache in a Suitcase
Janet H
  • Sticky
Forum Update - We're back! Ask your questions here.
2
Replies
36
Views
2K
Popmartijn
Popmartijn
L
Play Do You Feel Loved, Babyface, Some Days Are Better Than Others, Playboy Petition
Replies
8
Views
733
rosephile
R
R
Hello, hello!
Replies
2
Views
886
Ralph_Sutter
R
N
Hello From Alberta, Canada
Replies
4
Views
399
NormB
N

Latest posts

Back
Top Bottom