What Is It About 20-Somethings?

[unforgettableFOXfire]

If I turn 25 and I'm still in the same situation, then I guess I'll have to settle for a crappy job like everyone else.

Don't. Seriously, don't settle.

I'll spare you the life story, but sufficed to say that the economy tanked right before I graduated and I worked the past few years at a job I hated and I only quit recently because it was just not worth it at all. Don't do that to yourself.

 

[PhilsFan]

I'm about to hit my 20s. I'm in my second year of college. And as each and every day goes by, I become increasingly puzzled over what I want to do. I'm not sure if I'm in the right major, but then I can't figure out what I would do instead. I have no idea what I want to do for a career.

I've worked a white collar summer and a blue collar summer, and in both cases I was not only worn down mentally by them but physically as well.

I see things I'd like to do everyday but never any way to get to them. Working hard would in all likelihood be futile. So much is left up to luck that I have to wonder if any of it's worth it. Am I going to spend all this money on college and get nothing in return?

This is a rough time.

 

[cobl04]

I'm about to hit my 20s. I'm in my second year of college. And as each and every day goes by, I become increasingly puzzled over what I want to do. I'm not sure if I'm in the right major, but then I can't figure out what I would do instead. I have no idea what I want to do for a career.

I've worked a white collar summer and a blue collar summer, and in both cases I was not only worn down mentally by them but physically as well.

I see things I'd like to do everyday but never any way to get to them. Working hard would in all likelihood be futile. So much is left up to luck that I have to wonder if any of it's worth it. Am I going to spend all this money on college and get nothing in return?

This is a rough time.

i feel ya dawg

seriously, i do. it's like, i've known my whole life what i've wanted to do and in the past year i so i've lost direction and now am unsure whilst others around me go forward in leaps and bounds.

i don't know if i have the chutzpah to be a full-time journo. at least not in the traditional sense.

moving out sure as hell ain't on the horizon at the moment either.

 

[Moonlit_Angel]

i feel ya dawg

seriously, i do. it's like, i've known my whole life what i've wanted to do and in the past year i so i've lost direction and now am unsure whilst others around me go forward in leaps and bounds.

i don't know if i have the chutzpah to be a full-time journo. at least not in the traditional sense.

moving out sure as hell ain't on the horizon at the moment either.

Nice to know I'm not alone here. I still have the interest in journalism or some other form of writing, but it's not easy to find a career in it right now. I'll gladly find something else to do in the meantime, especially since I do want a fallback job as I know writing careers take time to get going and they're not always the steadiest line of work. But it's not easy finding that, either. And if I want something really good and stable, I'll need to go back to school. Which would be fine, I'd love to do that, I'll gladly do that. Except that I'll need financial aid, and I wouldn't mind that, if it weren't for the fact that I hate the idea of having to add another debt to the list of debts my family's had piled on them the last few years. I'd be paying this one off myself, I wouldn't pawn it on them (though I'm sure they wouldn't hesitate to help if need be), but still, I'm just tired of the word "debt", you know?

As for jobs, I fully agree that nobody should ever find themselves in a job they hate and get nothing good in return from. I would probably leave a job like that, too. Unfortunately, though, I also know that sometimes that's not always easy to do, sometimes you have to take what you can get, like it or not. If it's just yourself you're supporting, that's one thing, but if you've got other people depending on you, you can't always afford to be picky. My parents have taught me that. My mom is sick to death of working retail. She actually genuinely loves office work and would be happy to find full-time work in that field. At this time, though, the best she's been able to find is part-time office work and part-time retail work. She's hoping things change with the office job so she can get full time and lessen, if not completely end, her time in retail, but right now, she has to do both because that's the only way she can help out our household. And she's at a time in her life when she shouldn't have to be worrying about stuff like that. So it's a tough time for people of any age right now. If people older than us are having difficulties, that doesn't bode very well for our age group. We can keep trying, people do manage to break away from that crappy cycle, but...yeah. It just sucks all around at this time.

Angela

 

[cobl04]

one thing i know for sure - i really, really, REALLY don't want to become a "struggling writer".

 

[redhotswami]

I'm about to hit my 20s. I'm in my second year of college. And as each and every day goes by, I become increasingly puzzled over what I want to do. I'm not sure if I'm in the right major, but then I can't figure out what I would do instead. I have no idea what I want to do for a career.

I've worked a white collar summer and a blue collar summer, and in both cases I was not only worn down mentally by them but physically as well.

I see things I'd like to do everyday but never any way to get to them. Working hard would in all likelihood be futile. So much is left up to luck that I have to wonder if any of it's worth it. Am I going to spend all this money on college and get nothing in return?

This is a rough time.

It is entirely possible that you may later decide on a career that has nothing at all to do with your college education. My bachelor's, master's, and expected doctorate have absolutely nothing to do with each other. Your college experience does not have to dictate the rest of your life. Life is a journey, and things are going to happen along the way that will inspire you to do other things.

My advice, as I used to give to all my undergrad students, is to focus on the present. Study hard, stay involved in extra-curriculars, and stretch your liver beyond it's preconceived limitations. It is a rough time, but it's also a great time.

Whatever you're doing, just remember to keep doing the best you can at where you are right then. The rest of life will just fall into place. There's no way you can foresee any changes or opportunities that may come your way. In the meantime, there's really nothing wrong or futile about working hard where you are now, because right now, those are your responsibilities.

I personally think the future isn't worth fussing about because we have absolutely no control over it. However, there are things you can do in your present that will help allow for an array of opportunities. You're already doing those things (work experience, good grades, etc.) Just maintain those, and you should be okay.

And when that moment comes where you know exactly where you want to go in the next step, dive for it. Also, remember, that next step doesn't have to be the ultimate step. Like I mentioned, my life has taken me in all sorts of different directions. The following step could be something you never thought you'd do before.

Anyway, that's all I had to say. Just keep doin' yo peef thang.

 

[AEON]

Am I going to spend all this money on college and get nothing in return?

Stick with it. Luck plays a part, but you need a ticket to be on that train. You will never regret finishing school. You will always regret not finishing.

 

[Liesje]

In some fields, networking is super important and something I think a lot of undergrads are neglecting. It's not always what you know but WHO you know, and networking takes time and effort and putting yourself out there. For example as a business undergrad if I had the option of studying for an exam the next day or attending a Business Forum (school org) dinner with dozens of local business owners, I'd be better off getting a grade or two lower on that exam but making those new contacts, IMO.

 

[MrsSpringsteen]

I don't see how anyone could ever regret a college education. Neither one of my parents went to college-my mother eventually got her associates later in life and I think she still wishes she had gone for a bachelor's. It's been a struggle for me and I don't do anything related to my degree, but I loved college and I have absolutely no regrets and I feel so fortunate. It made me have more belief in myself and my intelligence and it was a great experience. I only regret that I didn't have the money to get more education. I didn't live at college in order to save money and it was still great for me.

Just in my experience you shouldn't approach college just as a means to a job. Maybe technical college or something else is a better approach for that. Sometimes what you get in return takes you years to realize and it has nothing to do with a job or money.

 

[PhilsFan]

Oh, it's not that I want to drop out of college, it's that I feel like if I'm going to change majors, I have to do it sooner rather than later, but I have no idea what I would change to at this point.

 

[PhilsFan]

It is entirely possible that you may later decide on a career that has nothing at all to do with your college education. My bachelor's, master's, and expected doctorate have absolutely nothing to do with each other. Your college experience does not have to dictate the rest of your life. Life is a journey, and things are going to happen along the way that will inspire you to do other things.

My advice, as I used to give to all my undergrad students, is to focus on the present. Study hard, stay involved in extra-curriculars, and stretch your liver beyond it's preconceived limitations. It is a rough time, but it's also a great time.

Whatever you're doing, just remember to keep doing the best you can at where you are right then. The rest of life will just fall into place. There's no way you can foresee any changes or opportunities that may come your way. In the meantime, there's really nothing wrong or futile about working hard where you are now, because right now, those are your responsibilities.

I personally think the future isn't worth fussing about because we have absolutely no control over it. However, there are things you can do in your present that will help allow for an array of opportunities. You're already doing those things (work experience, good grades, etc.) Just maintain those, and you should be okay.

And when that moment comes where you know exactly where you want to go in the next step, dive for it. Also, remember, that next step doesn't have to be the ultimate step. Like I mentioned, my life has taken me in all sorts of different directions. The following step could be something you never thought you'd do before.

Anyway, that's all I had to say. Just keep doin' yo peef thang.

Thanks, MAYA. I appreciate it.

I guess my biggest stressor right now is what's in your 4th paragraph there. Figuring out if I'm doing the right things in the present to allow for that array of opportunities. Would I have more opportunities if I did something else? I don't know. That's the big question.

 

[Liesje]

I work in IT so it may vary across fields but to be honest, when we hire (and when I was hired), it didn't so much matter what the undergrad degree was. Like Mrs. S is saying, just finishing college in general gives you experience with all kinds of people and working with people in various capacities (doing groupwork, having to do projects with people you can't stand, being able to succeed under profs that are tyrants, etc). Just getting the degree is what counts. Also think of careers like law or medicine where you can be pre-law but major in art and go to law school. A lot of our pre-law students major in English or whatever they like, majoring in poli sci or int'l affairs isn't necessarily any advantage. Where I work, very few people have degrees in computer science or information systems. Even our student workers are mostly political science and/or international affairs majors. Unless you're trying to get into a program like nursing or engineering that have their own modified curriculum or something that requires technical training and certifications, I would not lose sleep over feeling like you have to decide your life today or worrying about switching majors. I switched 5 times and still graduated in 4 years with several 12 credit semesters (for my last few years I only took class Tues/Thurs and worked all day the rest of the week).

 

[maycocksean]

one thing i know for sure - i really, really, REALLY don't want to become a "struggling writer".

Is there any other kind?

Seriously, I love writing but I didn't have the guts to pursue it as a career. . .or at least without having a regular job as a "backup." Of course the consequence is that writing has ended up being pushed to the sidelines. I have a finished draft of a novel and that's all so far. . .

 

[PhilsFan]

For the record, I'm a journalism major studying primarily TV and radio.

 

[nathan1977]

one thing i know for sure - i really, really, REALLY don't want to become a "struggling writer".

There are worse things -- you have to be a struggling writer in order to be a successful writer. I'd actually say that what you learn when you're a struggling writer -- multitasking, juggling various projects, balancing work and life responsibilities, embracing the Muse when you have to, not when you want to -- help down the road...

 

[deep]

I know times are difficult these days
and it seems like many are just saying why struggle?

the concept that one should hold out for work that they find enjoyable is baffling to me.

with struggle comes growth, and the ability to understand the value and costs of maintaining the lifestyles that we have
there is a learning curve to life, steps we take in maturing and growing up.

when you are 30 and living with your parents (partially) on their dime how does that prepare one for the real world?

what is going to happen when you are 40? are your 70 year old parents still going to subsidizing your living costs? or age 45 or 50?

When you get to a certain age you should be capable of supporting yourself
if that means you have to downgrade your lifestyle, that really is better than remaining an adult-child.

 

[corianderstem]

Maybe it's because I'm an oldish fart now, but I tend to agree with a lot of that.

I had no idea what I wanted to do after college - hell, I was a music major who had no designs on teaching or performing for a living, so I had no clue what I would do while I was even in college.

I moved back home for about 7-8 months after graduation because I had no idea what else to do, and worked a dead-end job and was more or less miserable because all my friends had moved away.

Then an opportunity arose to move back to my college town with a friend, and I took it. I still didn't know what I wanted to do, but started teaching piano for a while - that was a struggle. I eventually had to give it up and go full-time with an office job, because I had to pay my bills.

But it was better than the alternative of living at home and waiting to figure out what I wanted to do, and better than the alternative of eeking out a very meager living in the music field and not being able to live my life the way I wanted.

So now my passions are all outside of work, and my job pays the bills. I fell into my field about 10 years ago, and laugh about it now ("How the hll did I end up in HR? I was a music major!").

But it's funny - I'm 37 and still have those "what do I want to do with my life" thoughts. And that's okay.

I don't think I settled, because I honestly didn't really know what I wanted to do. I don't love my job (but I'm lucky to really enjoy working where I do and with the people I do), but it pays the bills and allows me to do some of the other things I love.

I don't know how much of it is just my personal situation of not really knowing what I wanted to do, or how much of that is a generational difference, but the idea of sitting around waiting for a job that's in your field, or in line with your passions ... I can't understand that.

I mean, I can to some extent - everyone wants to find work that's satisfying, but sometimes you have to find/make your own opportunities.

And then I guess some of that is also limited by the economy, so ....

Holy schnikies, I'm rambling.

 

[AliEnvy]

the concept that one should hold out for work that they find enjoyable is baffling to me.

I'll go out on a limb and guess that this message wasn't drilled into you as a youngster the way boomers have drilled it into their kids.

when you are 30 and living with your parents (partially) on their dime how does that prepare one for the real world?

what is going to happen when you are 40? are your 70 year old parents still going to subsidizing your living costs? or age 45 or 50?

The OP and thread is about 20-somethings...

 

[corianderstem]

I think an extension of the initial conversation is a bit inevitable, as we compare what it was like for us/what it's like for them.

But it's definitely an interesting phenomena (if that's the right term to use).

 

[indra]

The OP and thread is about 20-somethings...

Chances are if you are 30 and living with your parents, you lived with your parents as a 20 something too.

 

[AliEnvy]

Right, but the milestones in the OP include the whole enchilada - career, marriage and kids - by 30.

The delay is by about 5 years on avg from early to late 20s.

More and more people pursuing a higher education (than in the 70s) and establishing career/independence before marriage - or opting out of marriage altogether - would seem to be the broader trend rather than some sort of lost generation of slackers.

 

[deep]

I'll go out on a limb and guess that this message wasn't drilled into you as a youngster the way boomers have drilled it into their kids.



The OP and thread is about 20-somethings...

I did read the 10 page article, and I saw this thread when Pearl first put it up.

I wrote what would have been the first reply, but decided not to post it.

I didn't want to sound too harsh. What was drilled into my head?

Yes, even in the 70s we were asking ourselves what would we enjoy doing for a career.

I think most of us end up where we are because of our circumstances. I moved out at 19 because in my working class family home of 3 bedrooms with 6 kids I wanted my own place.
And some of my peers were moving out on their own. I also had worked all through high school because with a large family if I wanted things, I had to buy them for myself. My best friend came from a family with 2 children. He also lived at home into his mid 30s.

At what point should one be responsible for making their own life choices?

I had a lot of crap drilled into my head as a child. In my 20s I realized I had to make my own way in the world and think for myself.
I still loved my family but I let go of a lot, and tried to understand the world as it really was, not as it was told to me.


Sean touched on it a couple of pages back. If people expect to only do jobs they find enjoyable, then who will do the other 95%+ of what needs to be done. I think that is why they pay people to work.

The concept of only doing what we enjoy and find rewarding is a reasonable standard for volunteer work.

 

[corianderstem]

More and more people pursuing a higher education (than in the 70s) and establishing career/independence before marriage - or opting out of marriage altogether - would seem to be the broader trend than some sort of lost generation of slackers.

True, true.

 

[cobl04]

For the record, I'm a journalism major studying primarily TV and radio.

how hard do you work, can i ask? like when you're not at school or working whatever job you might be working to bring money in, are you enjoying going to games on the weekends and interviewing, commentating, etc? how much voluntary time do you put into it, is what i'm asking.

I'm a journalism major as well... but i'm not enjoying it as i once was. Creative writing is my favourite class, and i like Lit as well, for the class discussions. i also do Italian, because i enjoy it.

 

[Rachel D.]

only you know what's right for you. screw 'em if they think you should settle. if you can't live with yourself that way, then don't. get up every day and work at making it happen. life will change, you will change, but so long as you listen to yourself, you'll get it figured out. we're all different.

All summer I've had to put up with people asking me when I'm going to get a "real job." But I'll show them! Eventually.

Don't. Seriously, don't settle.

I'll spare you the life story, but sufficed to say that the economy tanked right before I graduated and I worked the past few years at a job I hated and I only quit recently because it was just not worth it at all. Don't do that to yourself.

I worked a horrible job two summers ago in a kitchen at a deli/meat market and the only reason I didn't quit after the first day was because I wanted to buy a laptop to take to college with me. I hated that job and it felt like another part of my soul dried up and died every day I worked there. Having a job I hated pretty much made my whole life miserable and I never want to go through that again. I suppose if I was in a desperate situation, I might change my mind; but while I'm not desperate, I'm just going to keep painting and selling stuff to tourists at my little job.

Oh, I could tell stories about that old job!

 

[KhanadaRhodes]

I worked a horrible job two summers ago in a kitchen at a deli/meat market and the only reason I didn't quit after the first day was because I wanted to buy a laptop to take to college with me. I hated that job and it felt like another part of my soul dried up and died every day I worked there. Having a job I hated pretty much made my whole life miserable and I never want to go through that again. I suppose if I was in a desperate situation, I might change my mind; but while I'm not desperate, I'm just going to keep painting and selling stuff to tourists at my little job.

Oh, I could tell stories about that old job!

oh, i have so been there. it totally burnt me out and as a result i refuse to work for a call centre ever again, despite it being easy work and good money.

 

[Moonlit_Angel]

I have a friend who works at a call center. She isn't too happy in it right now. It's a debt collection agency, and naturally, let's just say she hasn't always had the most pleasant experience with callers. Unfortunately, the team she's on is strict about the callers being all polite and calm (other teams are allowed to be a little more aggressive in their responses to callers). Which I fully agree with in theory, you should always remain as calm as possible-but that's easier said than done when someone is making threats and raving like a lunatic. Add in the fact that the business recently cut the hours and got rid of supervisors because they claimed there was "collectors' fatigue" going on ('cause these changes will totally help solve that problem), and it's no barrel of laughs for her right now. But it helps pay the bills and takes care of her necessities and such, so...

I'm a journalism major as well... but i'm not enjoying it as i once was. Creative writing is my favourite class, and i like Lit as well, for the class discussions. i also do Italian, because i enjoy it.

I'd love to get into a creative writing field above all else-I want to be an author. But I do find journalism fascinating and took it in high school, and wouldn't mind checking it out a bit further. Anything English-oriented, I'd love to have a career in, basically.

And I don't mind working as a "struggling writer", myself. I would at least like to not be so poor that I'm forced to choose between rent and food or something like that, though. My family's been through the "living paycheck to paycheck", struggling to cover the basics stuff before, and I greatly admire them for pulling us through all the tough times, we've managed to make it before and we'll do it again. But if I can improve on that just a little bit, that'd be nice.

Angela

 

[redhotswami]

I know times are difficult these days
and it seems like many are just saying why struggle?

the concept that one should hold out for work that they find enjoyable is baffling to me.

with struggle comes growth, and the ability to understand the value and costs of maintaining the lifestyles that we have
there is a learning curve to life, steps we take in maturing and growing up.

when you are 30 and living with your parents (partially) on their dime how does that prepare one for the real world?

what is going to happen when you are 40? are your 70 year old parents still going to subsidizing your living costs? or age 45 or 50?

When you get to a certain age you should be capable of supporting yourself
if that means you have to downgrade your lifestyle, that really is better than remaining an adult-child.

You think that working toward a dream isn't a struggle? It's humiliating to know that I'm pushing 30 and do not have a solid source of income of my own. I was embarrassed when this summer my parents decided to step in and offer financial help, because I was suddenly hit with a number of unfortunate circumstances, through no fault of my own. Everything I had tried to do for myself had fallen apart.

I was brought to this path, and now I'm going to finish it. I've got so much invested in this dream (time, money, passion), that I really haven't any other choice.

But it pisses me off when people say that I'm not grown up, that I don't know what it's like to struggle (you're not the only one. I've got relatives telling me the same crap.) As if working a part-time job while taking 24 graduate credit hours is a walk in the freaking park?

If people can't appreciate all the sacrifices we have to make to get to where we are, then they shouldn't freaking go to a doctor for our services when they are ill/injured. Dealing with physical pain is just part of the struggle, right?

Everyone in my class has a supplemental income, whether it's from their parents or partners. It's just something I have to do to get through this.

 

[coolian2]

obvious troll is boring

 

[redhotswami]

obvious troll is boring

needs moar candy!