The Heterosexuality Thread

[Galeongirl]

are you, like, straight in public, or just in your house?

i don't care what you do behind closed doors, but i don't want my children to have to see things i'm not prepared to explain to them.

I'm starting to understand what TIH meant with the love between a man and a woman. Irvine, you're awesome.

 

[deep]

I have been doing an ongoing study of what 'normal' sexuality is for years, actually decades.

The best way to define 'normal' is: conforming to the standard or the common type; usual; not abnormal;

For my sexuality study I decided the best method would be to view 'pornography', the availability and prevalence of hetero vs homo pornography.

After thousands of hours of research, I can safely say heterosexual pornography is the more common type, therefore normal and homosexual pornography is therefore 'abnormal'.

But just to be certain I am still conducting this study, I will report back should the findings change.

 

[martha]

Heterosexuality is a great thing. I am here because of heterosexuality.

What concerns me is the extraordinary amount of rape, violence, and abuse heterosexual women undergo at the hands of their heterosexual male partners.

And how do these kinds of heterosexual relationships affect the children? Because, as we all know, it's all about the children.

 

[digitize]

This thread has defied the odds and actually become somewhat worthwhile.

 

[corianderstem]

And how do these kinds of heterosexual relationships affect the children? Because, as we all know, it's all about the children.

Thankfully, I am childless, so I will not infect the innocent children with my heteroness.

 

[martha]

Me also. We rule.

 

[LemonMelon]

I laughed so fucking hard at that first post. I mean, I get that we need to lay off Iron Horse, but it was totally involuntary. Typos absolutely obliterate comedy.

So, is this the Percy Sledge thread, then?

Heterosexuality, misogyny, abuse...pretty sure this is the Sean Connery thread.

 

[Irvine511]

Thankfully, I am childless, so I will not infect the innocent children with my heteroness.

But ... But ... Why are you here if not to reproduce? Are you in fact insisting your life has value and meaning beyond your babymaking abilities?

What will I tell the children?

 

[cobl04]

while I'm here, what the fuck does the term 'heteronormative' mean?

 

[MrPryck2U]

while I'm here, what the fuck does the term 'heteronormative' mean?

Well, to put it crudely, it means that the only thing that's right is a man fucking a woman or a man marrying a woman. Everything outside of that is wrong.

 

[dazzledbylight]

Thankfully, I am childless, so I will not infect the innocent children with my heteroness.

Not passing it down either

But ... But ... Why are you here if not to reproduce? Are you in fact insisting your life has value and meaning beyond your babymaking abilities?

What will I tell the children?

I'm sure you'll think up something suitable.

Until then shield their innocent eyes!

How dare you ask such a provoking question?



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I'm pretty sure if censorship was more lax in the The 60's we could have had way more explicite, and nastier lyrics from white rockers, as well.

Even without being graphic The Stones "Under My Thumb" is nasty and hypocritical.
---------------------------------
Great link/article- jeevey.
I bookmarked the site for furture and archivel reading. thanks!

Studies were done some years back showing that tears from being upset (sad, angry, confused etc) were different from tears released by cutting up onions.

There were biological by-products probably produced from being over-stressed, and gotten rid of by being washed out of the body.
I'm sure it's one reason (among a few) a lot of men's lifespans are shorter than women's.

 

[jeevey]

Well, to put it crudely, it means that the only thing that's right is a man fucking a woman or a man marrying a woman. Everything outside of that is wrong.

Yes, but it's more about the assumption that everyone is straight-- for example the way the all the love songs are written from a het point of view, the assumptions that kids will get their first crush on and go to prom with the opposite sex, the way tv humor scripts presume the heterosexuality of the audience, the way 'lesbian porn' is created for heterosexual men, not actual lesbians-- all the millions of cultural ways we express the expectation that heterosexuality is the 'normal' and homosexuality is the exception. It has more to do with broad cultural attitudes with personal beliefs about morality. It gets perpetuated unconsciously. Heteronormativity is often expressed by people who don't actually think gayness is wrong. It's just the assumption that people are straight until you are specifically notified otherwise.

 

[cobl04]

so if you assume everyone is straight until told otherwise does that make you a heteronorman

 

[jeevey]

Eh... it's not a noun in that way, and it's not personal in that way. Assuming that everyone is straight until they tell you otherwise is an expression of heteronormativity, which is a much broader concept than a single person or act. It's the cultural assumption that straightness is the norm and homosexuality is a deviation.

 

[PhilsFan]

This sort of goes back to that discussion of cisgender. The whole point of putting that stuff into the lexicon was to avoid it simply male/female vs. trans male/trans female. Because there's a natural implication to that situation that male/female is normal and trans male/trans female is not normal. That's heteronormativity. It's, in theory, one less way of pointing at trans people and saying, "Hey, look how different you are!"

 

[Irvine511]

there really isn't a judgement in calling something "heteronormative." most things in life are, and that's fine.

but it's also well and good to point out that, yes, there are certain assumptions in our language, and yes those assumptions exclude people, and it's important to examine the bias encoded into our language.

but, hey, it's all okay. most minorities are aware that they are as such, and generally ok with it.

 

[Dfit00]

If there are so many repercussions into being homosexual and heterosexual, then I believe that the ideal solution is to be bisexual.

Try out two at a time and get the best of both worlds, that way everybody will be happy.

 

[Hewson]

How about trisexual*?

Spoiler

*willing to try anything

 

[Galeongirl]

If there are so many repercussions into being homosexual and heterosexual, then I believe that the ideal solution is to be bisexual.

Try out two at a time and get the best of both worlds, that way everybody will be happy.

You raise a valid point. When people ask about my sexuality I usually answer that I don't discriminate based on gender. Gives you a lot of odd looks until they understand what you mean.

But I guess that means I don't fit either this or the gay thread completely. Shite, I'm left out once again!

 

[jeevey]

A lot of gender researchers use the model of the Kinsey scale. It's a spectrum with being attracted to only the opposite sex or only the same at the other, and most people fall somewhere between either end. The Kinsey Institute - Kinsey Sexuality Rating Scale

 

[Irvine511]

this is a very good, very comprehensive article about bisexuality by an incomparable journalist. fascinating.

The Scientific Quest to Prove Bisexuality Exists
By BENOIT DENIZET-LEWISMARCH 20, 2014

[...]

Hoping to offer bisexuals a supportive community in 2010, Lawrence became the head organizer for amBi, a bisexual social group in Los Angeles. “All kinds of people show up to our events,” he told me. “There are older bi folks, kids who say they ‘don’t need any labels,’ transgender people — because many trans people also identify as bi. At our events, people can be themselves. They can be out.”

“Though most bisexuals don’t come out,” Sylla said. “Most bisexuals are in convenient opposite-sex relationships and aren’t open about their sexual orientation. Why would you be open, when there is so much biphobia?”

Spend any time hanging around bisexual activists, and you’ll hear a great deal about biphobia. You’ll also hear about bi erasure, the idea that bisexuality is systematically minimized and dismissed. This is especially vexing to bisexual activists, who point to a 2011 report by the Williams Institute — a policy center specializing in L.G.B.T. demographics — that reviewed 11 surveys and found that “among adults who identify as L.G.B., bisexuals comprise a slight majority.” In one of the larger surveys reviewed by the institute (a 2009 study published in The Journal of Sexual Medicine), 3.1 percent of American adults identified as bisexual, while 2.5 percent identified as gay or lesbian. (In most surveys, the institute found that women were “substantially more likely than men to identify as bisexual.”)

Then there’s the tricky matter of identity versus behavior. Joe Kort, a Michigan-based sex therapist whose next book is about straight-identified men who are married but who also have sex with men, says that “many never tell anyone about their bisexual experiences, for fear of losing relationships or having their reputation hurt. Consequently, they’re an invisible group of men. We know very little about them.”

Bisexuals are so unlikely to be out about their orientation — in a 2013 Pew Research Survey, only 28 percent of people who identified as bisexual said they were open about it — that the San Francisco Human Rights Commission recently called them “an invisible majority” in need of resources and support.

But in the eyes of many Americans, bisexuality — despite occasional and exaggerated media reports of its chicness — remains a bewildering and potentially invented orientation favored by men in denial about their homosexuality and by women who will inevitably settle down with men. Studies have found that straight-identified people have more negative attitudes about bisexuals (especially bisexual men) than they do about gays and lesbians, but A.I.B.’s board members insist that some of the worst discrimination and minimization comes from the gay community.

[...]

 

[Galeongirl]

Funny how it's unlikely to be out there, total different situation where I live. Most females I know that like other females aren't gay but bi, and funnily enough a lot of girls in my uni friend group are. When we became friends we had no idea about that, but after me and my ex girlfriend came out, slowly the others started to admit it too. A couple are in a straight relationship now, admitting they had girlfriends in the past and are open to it, and others are in a gay relationship or single. And nobody seems to mind anything.

It's kinda mad that stuff is so accepted over here, yet so controversial across the pond. Though I'm sure there are certain circles over here where it wouldn't be so easily accepted.

 

[Irvine511]

It's kinda mad that stuff is so accepted over here, yet so controversial across the pond. Though I'm sure there are certain circles over here where it wouldn't be so easily accepted.

to be fair -- this is a very big place, 310m people, many in rural areas. a more apt comparison would be Amsterdam to San Francisco, LA, or NYC rather than the country as a whole. and you're young.

i do admit, it does seem to be that the boys who identify as bi wind up gay, and the girls who identify as bi wind up with a guy. when i've met men who identify as bi, the general assumption is that he's just not comfortable admitting he's gay. gay men have slept with (and been married to) women forever, and i know a few gay guys who have slept with girls, usually at her request because she wants someone safe to have sex with.

for me, this underscores the strong emotional pull of sexual orientation. it's not just about who you are capable of having sex with, but who you are capable of creating a physical and emotional relationship with over a long period of time. so it's not so much that you're a gay man because you find women repulsive, it's because you find men emotionally and physically attractive. and it's not so much that you're bi because you can fuck either gender, but because you can form emotional and physical bonds with either gender.

it's a slippery thing -- i certainly can't speak for bisexuals. sure, like most gay guys, it was a bridge identity for me, lasted about 18 months, and then it was like, "who am i kidding?"

 

[Galeongirl]

That's very true, and yeah I do live in a relatively big city and study in Amsterdam so it's probably different in different parts of the country as well.

Hm I never really thought of it much, but if I recall I don't think I know any guys who identified themselves as bi. A couple gay ones, and I know a few have kissed with guys to try it out or in a drunken stupor, but not specific bi. It is kind of an odd thing. Then again, it's still more socially accepted somehow for females to be gay rather than males. That whole yuck factor bullshite. It's just so damn hypocritical.

For me it was confusing for a while, cause, you know, you grow up with the idea you're straight, then at a certain point I fell for a girl, then it was kinda confusing to figure out where the difference is if I'm gay or bi. I just didn't know. I always thought I was straight and liked guys and stuff, then I fell for a girl and it all felt different. But after her I fell for a guy again so I figured I just don't have a specific preference. I do have a closer bond with most females though, but from what I've discussed with my best friend(who is also bi and was the first girl I ever fancied, ha) that preference does differ between different people. But there always seems to be one kind of preference. It's an intriguing subject, that's for sure.

 

[LuckyNumber7]

I'm going to go start a white chicks thread.

 

[U2DMfan]

like most gay guys, it was a bridge identity for me, lasted about 18 months, and then it was like, "who am i kidding?"

But you still liked the boobs, right?

 

[Galeongirl]

Have to admit, that is one thing I've always wondered about. But I keep forgetting to ask the gay guys I know. Do boobs have the same effect on them as with straight men(and most women, contrary to popular belief they do look), or is it a meh factor?

 

[Irvine511]

But you still liked the boobs, right?

They are strange, fascinating objects.

 

[Irvine511]

Have to admit, that is one thing I've always wondered about. But I keep forgetting to ask the gay guys I know. Do boobs have the same effect on them as with straight men(and most women, contrary to popular belief they do look), or is it a meh factor?

You can appreciate something's aesthetic value without it being a sexual turn on. FWIW, I much prefer smaller, natural breasts on a woman than big old fakies, but the response is aesthetic not sexual.

 

[MrPryck2U]

I'm with year there. I'm not a big fan of fake tits, but some can look pretty good. I prefer natural breasts. Size doesn't matter.