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Old 08-30-2013, 01:15 PM   #21
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Here it is:

So, What’s It Going To Be? | The Onion - America's Finest News Source
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Old 08-30-2013, 01:26 PM   #22
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Though I can't vouch for its accuracy (it's a picture doing rounds on Facebook), this short summary does give a telling impression of the mess that's the Middle East.
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Old 08-30-2013, 01:41 PM   #23
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That's fucking brilliant.

No matter what happens, it's our fault. Would be nice if our friends and allies would occasionally acknowledge the rather difficult position we're pretty much always in (Bush years excepted).
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Old 08-30-2013, 02:18 PM   #24
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Interesting...

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(CNN) -- [Breaking news alert 1:19 p.m. ET]
A preliminary U.S. government assessment of last week's chemical weapons attack in Syria has made these key findings:

--100 videos attributed to a suspected chemical weapons attack in Syria "show large numbers of bodies exhibiting physical signs consistent with, but not unique to, nerve agent exposure." Some videos show what appear to be fatalities "with no visible injuries" -- imagery "consistent with death from chemical weapons, and inconsistent with death from small-arms, high-explosive munitions or blister agents," said the report, released Friday.

--1,429 people were killed in an August 21 chemical weapons attack in Syria and asserted that "we assess with high confidence that the Syrian government carried out the chemical weapons attack against opposition elements in the Damascus suburbs."

-- The United States says it has "intelligence that leads us to assess that Syrian chemical weapons personnel ... were preparing chemical weapons munitions prior to" what Washington believes was a chemical weapons attack in the Damascus suburbs on August 21. "In the three days prior to the attack, we collected streams of human, signals and geospatial intelligence that reveal regime activities that we assess were associated with preparations for a chemical weapons attack," the U.S. government said in its assessment released Friday.

Citing support from the Arab League, Turkey and France, Secretary of State John Kerry said Friday that "we are not alone in our will to do something about" last week's chemical weapons attack in Syria that he blamed on the regime of President Bashar al-Assad.
Kerry added that the United States "makes our own decisions on our own timelines, based on our own values and interests" in signaling a possible military response to last week's chemical weapons attack in Syria.
Get ready Pac_Mule, we'll be shipped to the Mideast within a year...
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Old 08-30-2013, 02:21 PM   #25
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Kinda hilarious how Heineken is looked down upon by us Dutch people, annd it's majorly praised all over the world.
Cultural cringe -- beer division. :-)
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Old 08-30-2013, 02:26 PM   #26
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That's fucking brilliant.

No matter what happens, it's our fault. Would be nice if our friends and allies would occasionally acknowledge the rather difficult position we're pretty much always in (Bush years excepted).
It's strange reading it and knowing that it's an Onion article, but at the same time, it gives me shivers because of how telling it really is.

Called it nationalism or whatever Vlad wants to, but I actually understand a bit of where Tim was coming from in the Big Brother comment he made. I don't know that it's the US's responsibility to deal with these situations, I don't think it is, and yet as human beings how can you look at a situation like this and do nothing. It's such a horrible place to be in. (Hope that made sense).
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Old 08-30-2013, 02:35 PM   #27
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My Predictions:

- US Cruise Missile strike against a few Syrian military targets.
- Syria will hit Israel with missiles and cyber attacks
- Israel will strike back with missiles and cyber attacks
- Iran and Southern Lebanon hit Israel with missiles
- US and Israel will hit Iran and Southern Lebanon with missiles and cyber attacks
- Chaos erupts in the streets of most Middle East countries - mass atrocities
- A major terrorist attack occurs somewhere in the US or Israel
- UK changes stance
- The "Global War on Terror" intensifies big time...over a million NATO troops sent to countries like Egypt, Syria, Iran, Pakistan, Libya, Nigeria...possibly again to Iraq
- Russia and China remain "neutral"
- NATO troops remain in the Mid East for the next 20 years (or until solar grid parity)
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Old 08-30-2013, 03:42 PM   #28
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The declassified version of the US government's intelligence report is not very interesting. It's just a summary with a lot of "we have evidence that says x". That being said, I strongly question whether the Obama Administration would have an incentive to make this up.
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Old 08-30-2013, 04:19 PM   #29
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Relevant to the Onion links (kind of):

The world reacts to the crisis in Syria - The Oatmeal

It's funny horribly depressing because it's true.
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Old 08-30-2013, 04:27 PM   #30
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what are they? i really want to know.
I don't know. But more killing to stop the killing doesn't seem to make sense.

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That really is brilliant! Very well written.
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Old 08-31-2013, 04:21 AM   #31
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I long for the good old days where the CIA could just kill Assad and nobody would know the difference.
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Old 08-31-2013, 08:22 AM   #32
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Basically we are pretty sure the use of chemical weapons comes from the government, it's a question really of whether it was on Assad's express orders, some sources seem to be saying it may have come from his brother Maher, who has a reputation of being a thug and bit more erratic, who has control of his own army division I believe.

Anyway I don't think anyone buys the glorious rebel nonsense, I think we are fairly cognisant they are a disparate group of Islamists and some other factions as well, who are just as likely to descend into civil war if left in charge. I don't see doing nothing as compromising our morality anymore than our morality has already been compromised by our decades of dubious involvement in the Middle East.

Personally I don't know why chemical weapons are such a red line, they are nasty but Assad has killed many more with conventional means before even using gas, so do we only go to war depending on the nastiness of the killing? So if he killed his people as 'humanely' as possible we would do nothing? It seems arbitrary.
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Old 08-31-2013, 09:41 AM   #33
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Perhaps they should just strike the entire middle east with a giant nuke. Problem solved, right?
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Old 08-31-2013, 09:50 AM   #34
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The real question being, will they still be able to get the oil?
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Old 08-31-2013, 11:00 PM   #35
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Should the US bomb Syria?

Absolutely NOT!!! Stop being the policemen of the world and focus on taking care of our own citizens (which they have hard enough time doing) instead of starting more bullshit in the middle east. And they wonder why the terrorists hate us....

Oh that's right, because we are free.

How's that for being "conservative?"
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Old 08-31-2013, 11:42 PM   #36
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Should the US bomb Syria?

Absolutely NOT!!! Stop being the policemen of the world and focus on taking care of our own citizens (which they have hard enough time doing)
There are some rather severe national security concerns at stake here -- not the least of which is Syria's alliance with Russia and China, and the potential for this situation to ignite the entire Middle East. (Egypt, for example, which is another tinderbox.)

An exploding Middle East, complete with tyrants who can gas their own people with impunity, benefits no one.
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Old 09-01-2013, 12:16 AM   #37
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There are some rather severe national security concerns at stake here -- not the least of which is Syria's alliance with Russia and China, and the potential for this situation to ignite the entire Middle East. (Egypt, for example, which is another tinderbox.)

An exploding Middle East, complete with tyrants who can gas their own people with impunity, benefits no one.
So does Syria pose a DIRECT threat to the USA? To they have the capability to launch missiles that can reach the US or have the troops to invade the US? I don't think so. Why does the US have to always be the one to intervene? Don't we have enough of our own problems? Let some other country deal with this crap for a change.

Oh yeah because we're number 1!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Old 09-01-2013, 04:27 AM   #38
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They got terrorist that can fly planes into your World Trade center, killing thousands..... That a direct threat enough for you mr number 1?
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And if U2 EVER did Hawkmoon live....and the version from the Lovetown Tour, my uterus would leave my body and fling itself at Bono - for realz.
Don't worry baby, it's gonna be all right. Uncertainty can be a guiding light...
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Old 09-01-2013, 05:18 AM   #39
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And what do you think lead to said terrorist attacks?
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Old 09-01-2013, 07:10 AM   #40
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Who's the 'they', I thought the 9/11 participants were mainly Saudi nationals.
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