RI School Bans Father Daughter Dances

[Pearl]

So why can't a mother relinquish her protection of her baby boy to another woman? Just asking!

[Jive Turkey]

I guess she could if she wanted to. I'd have no problem with that. But gender roles aren't necessarily always a bad thing

[Irvine511]

Originally Posted by Jive Turkey

I've never thought of the 'giving away' thing to be about property. I've always seen at as a father relinquishing protection of his little girl to another man

women do need to be protected by men. it's unbelievable that women think they can live alone. who else will guard the sanctity of her vagina if not her father or husband?

[Irvine511]

Originally Posted by Pearl

So why can't a mother relinquish her protection of her baby boy to another woman? Just asking!

mothers don't protect. that's a man's job. mothers nurture. that's the woman's job.

and this is why i am against same-sex marriage.

[Jive Turkey]

Originally Posted by Irvine511

women do need to be protected by men. it's unbelievable that women think they can live alone. who else will guard the sanctity of her vagina if not her father or husband?

Are you really going to twist that, Irvine?? Of all the benign things I've ever said...

Besides, I was talking about a father protecting his daughter... Isn't that part of their job?

[Irvine511]

Originally Posted by Jive Turkey

Are you really going to twist that, Irvine?? Of all the benign things I've ever said...

Besides, I was talking about a father protecting his daughter... Isn't that part of their job?

In all honesty, I did find it a bit patronizing. Now that we don't allow children to get married anymore (as opposed to the very recent past), one can assume that it is two adults getting married, and I'm not sure why it would be the father who is in charge of protecting, say, his 32-year old I-banker daughter who makes $200k a year.

[Jive Turkey]

It's symbolic. I think it's sweet

[Irvine511]

And it maintains and reinforces the patriarchy.

But so do most weddings in general, from the virginal white cake to the symbolic getting of the first piece of her "cake."

Just ask this guy:

http://www.foxnews.com/opinion/2012/...ive-ever-done/

[Moonlit_Angel]

I'm not really bothered by the whole "giving away" thing, either, myself. I mainly see it as a dad saying, "I trust you with my daughter", or something like that. But if and when I get married, since my dad's not here, I won't really need to worry about that anyway, so...

I do find all the strange rules churches have about what should or shouldn't happen at a wedding strange, though. How about every couple just be able to do what makes them personally comfortable?

[Liesje]

Originally Posted by Jive Turkey

I've never thought of the 'giving away' thing to be about property. I've always seen at as a father relinquishing protection of his little girl to another man

I had my dad walk me down. I guess to me it just meant I was now and adult and that he was proud of me as a daughter (though I got married when I was 22, maybe it would have been more weird if I were older). I didn't really think of it as protection or property. If I'd told him we weren't doing it I'm sure he would have been disappointed, and I've never felt that my dad viewed me as his property or someone that he gets to protect or control.

[anitram]

Originally Posted by Jive Turkey

It's symbolic. I think it's sweet

For me it was actually kind of offensive that my Mom would not be included. I have a great relationship with both my parents and it was inconceivable to me that my father would walk me down the aisle but not my mother.

In the end, my fiance and I will walk in together, as is our preference, but my Dad walking me down on his own was never an option in my view. To each his own, though!

[Jive Turkey]

Originally Posted by Liesje

I had my dad walk me down. I guess to me it just meant I was now and adult and that he was proud of me as a daughter (though I got married when I was 22, maybe it would have been more weird if I were older). I didn't really think of it as protection or property. If I'd told him we weren't doing it I'm sure he would have been disappointed, and I've never felt that my dad viewed me as his property or someone that he gets to protect or control.

That's cool too. I mean, I don't think anyone is forcing anyone to do
It. Interpret it how you like. If you find it offensive, don't do it. Kind of a non Issue

[Pearl]

Originally Posted by Irvine511

And it maintains and reinforces the patriarchy.

But so do most weddings in general, from the virginal white cake to the symbolic getting of the first piece of her "cake."

Just ask this guy:

Waiting till the wedding night – getting married the right way | Fox News

Wow, that article angered me so much. Why do conservatives make such harsh, holier-than-thou judgments on anyone who doesn't do things their way? Do they really think every person who does not save sex for marriage is promiscuous? That all married couples who didn't remain celibate until their wedding night have lousy mornings after their big day? I have friends and family who did not save sex for marriage and were not promiscuous nor did they have a lousy morning.

If I were to meet that man, I swear I would say "fuck you" to him. Heck, I'm wondering if I should tweet that to him. OK, I may be overreacting (like I always do), but I have very low tolerance for arrogant, judgmental people.

Just remember, dude: the first will be last, and the last will be first.

[Jive Turkey]

Originally Posted by anitram

In the end, my fiance and I will walk in together, as is our preference, but my Dad walking me down on his own was never an option in my view. To each his own, though!

to all this

[Axver]

I'm honestly surprised nobody leapt on my earlier post that basically ridiculed the idea of staying a virgin until marriage. Clearly this forum needs more people like that Steven Crowder bloke to put me in my place.

[LemonMelon]

Axver will take you on a booze-laden romp on graduation night and something WILL have sex with you. It's only a matter of what.

[Jive Turkey]

Originally Posted by Axver

I'm honestly surprised nobody leapt on my earlier post that basically ridiculed the idea of staying a virgin until marriage. Clearly this forum needs more people like that Steven Crowder bloke to put me in my place.

I just figured since it's not the 1950s, it wasn't really something to be discussed

[Pearl]

Unfortunately, some people in the U.S. have a 1950s mindset and wish everyone saw the world like they do.

I just want to add - because I get so worked up when I'm offended (no surprise there) - that the FOX News contributor claims men who don't save sex for marriage have ego issues because they need to have conquests. Well, isn't agreed among many that men who want a virginal bride because her being inexperienced means they don't have to worry about some other man being better than them in bed? Isn't that a major ego isssue?

I'm sorry, its just people like that who thoroughly boggle my mind.

ETA: I actually did send a tweet to that contributor, but it was more calmer than my original idea. I responded to his tweet where he said "I don't judge people but I judge their decisions. You should too."

I tweeted back: "Its still judging others and its not cool to be holier than thou." Of course, he didn't respond and probably laughed off my tweet, but at least I got something off my chest.

[MrsSpringsteen]

I think both parents are supposed to "protect" kids-boys and girls. When you're an adult you don't need anyone to do that. In a marriage I think you protect the other person in a loving way full of equality, not in any subservient or paternalistic way. Obviously it should be completely different from a parent/child relationship. If it isn't well I think that's a big problem. I get the whole symbolism but it should not be paternalistic. Women "give away" themselves.

[Moonlit_Angel]

Well said, Pearl. Good point about the ego thing, too.

If someone wants to wait until they're married to have sex, that's totally fine. If someone doesn't want to wait, that's fine, too. That's a very personal decision to make, and a person should make it because it's what they feel most comfortable doing, and not because others are telling them what to do. I will never, ever understand why people are so obsessed with what others choose to do in their own bedrooms. Why the hell is that any of your business? Why do you care?

(*"you" being a general "you", not directed at anyone here.)