Bullying - What Can Be Done? - Page 7

coolian2 · 03-01-2012, 09:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by the iron horse

Reading is fun

that'll do me. you don't even read the links you post.

the iron horse · 03-01-2012, 09:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by coolian2

that'll do me. you don't even read the links you post.

I don't read the links I post?

Why do you accuse me of that?

**Diemen** · 03-01-2012, 09:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by the iron horse

Isn't it nice that so many of you checked the link
on the book?

Reading is fun

In the off chance you're just not aware, IH, what you're doing is most definitely trolling. And in the off chance you're also not aware, trolling is against the rules of this forum.

coolian2 · 03-01-2012, 09:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by the iron horse

I don't read the links I post?

Why do you accuse me of that?

because i'm losing count of the number of links you've posted that either don't work, or are totally contradictory to your pretense.

the iron horse · 03-01-2012, 09:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by coolian2

because i'm losing count of the number of links you've posted that either don't work, or are totally contradictory to your pretense.

What are the links I have posted that don't work?

PhilsFan · 03-02-2012, 02:26 AM

Nearly all of them, dude. You are either an idiot or an asshole, there is literally no in between.

Vincent Vega · 03-02-2012, 07:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jive Turkey

How do you define 'tummy ache' and 'sore stomach'? I've never said they're different, but one phrase is more age appropriate than the other. But anyway, as I said, it's not really worth putting any more discussion into.

There's numerous instances where it made people commit suicide. So even though the term might sound age-inappropriate, it might be worth taking more seriously what's behind.

MrsSpringsteen · 03-04-2012, 01:57 PM

The person doing the bullying in a workplace or anywhere else is the one who isn't acting like an adult, not the victim of it. So I think the world bully is entirely age appropriate, considering their behavior. There are plenty of adult bullies in this world, and workplace bullying is a legitimate term that exists.

I saw The Artist Friday and the trailer for Bully the documentary was shown, just the trailer was pretty emotional. They really need to do something so that movie can be seen by kids. Adults need to see it too. They should NOT censor the language, yes..talk about a grotesque irony. It does remind me of censoring the 9/11 documentaries for language. Completely ridiculous.

deep · 03-04-2012, 04:40 PM

I think there is bullying in the work place. I think adults are capable of bullying. I think cyber-bullying is a form of bullying and adults participate in that. Ganging up is a form of bullying. I have seen occasional bullying in this forum.

There was an article in my local paper about a large judgment because of workplace bullying

California physician assistant wins $168 million in bullying suit - latimes.com

HBK-79 · 03-05-2012, 06:06 PM

Hey guys. I think I may have dealt with several episodes of workplace bullying at my last job.

During my 18 months there, my boss at the time was the most unprofessional manager that I've ever come across. She would always raise her voice at me and give me dirty looks. She would also rudely criticize and scrutinize everything that I did.

Worse, she would say to me the most hurtful things:

"I don't care what you did at your last job"
"I don't like your personality"
"I don't have any confidence in you"
"I don't know why you have to be different from us"
"It's too exhausting to deal with you"

Needless to say, she eventually fired me.

Do you guys think I deserved to be treated like that?

Jive Turkey · 03-05-2012, 06:10 PM

How could we possibly answer that when we've never seen you work?

deep · 03-05-2012, 06:12 PM

not much context

were you a member of a barbershop quartet?
a sex worker?
Are you Julie Taymor?

HBK-79 · 03-06-2012, 04:05 PM

My work is pretty much irrelevant.

I can't think of one boss who would tell one of his or her subordinates "I don't like your personality".

That's pretty unprofessional if you ask me. Especially if everyone at my job really liked working with me.

Jive Turkey · 03-06-2012, 05:16 PM

Your work has everything to do with it. Depending on your behaviour and productivity, that is maybe the only quote that might be a little off side. Me thinks you're being a little bit sensitive

moiph · 03-08-2012, 02:48 AM

Bullying is a complex situation. Kids taunt each other in school and that is natural but the extremes to which some kids take it should never be allowed. Punishing it may work at a young age, but in my experience punishing an adult for bullying does not work. The behavior should not be allowed or tolerated in the first place. Ignoring it will usually cause it to escalate, not make it better. When it comes to kids, the best option is to take the kid and work through it (if you have the means) and get them to express themselves in more appropriate ways.

I was never taunted too badly in school, mostly because I stayed out of the way and never made myself a target. However I did experience some bullying in my adult life on an internet forum. My childhood of respectful encounters actually helped me to deal with the situation, because I already knew that people like that were not worth attention. In my childhood, those people were looked down on and never got anywhere. So that's how I viewed them and dealt with it.

Bullying, IMHO becomes a habit because kids don't know how else to feel important. It will continue into adulthood if it is ignored. They need to find better ways to boost their self esteem and that kind of skill building starts in elementary school.

A contrasting perspective, my fiance was bullied rather horrifically her entire life. She is extremely sensitive because of it. Nobody ever babied her. Her dad always told her to "just deal with it and get over it". She can't, it's just not in her nature. She did ignore it, but ultimately it did have an effect on her by making her even more sensitive. She's living proof that "let the kids deal with it, they're just being babied too much today" does not work at all.

She lost her trust in authority figures after watching them allow other kids to do terrible things to her. One of the things I will never forget is when she told me that she stopped trusting adults by 4th grade because she knew they couldn't protect her. There needs to be a balance. You need to give kids a chance to fend for themselves, and let them have their tolerance pushed, but you also need to know when it's time to step in and say "Enough".

At their core, bullies are people who trip on power. They like to have control over other people. Ignoring them just means they'll go find someone else to abuse--someone who is less strong than you. You need to start from an early age and teach them that there are better ways to get what they want and better ways to "find power".

Vincent Vega · 03-08-2012, 05:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jive Turkey

Your work has everything to do with it. Depending on your behaviour and productivity, that is maybe the only quote that might be a little off side. Me thinks you're being a little bit sensitive

I disagree. Irregardless of the quality of one's performance, above quotes are unacceptable. If you are a superior and you want to tell one of your employees that their work is not according to standard, or the way they work doesn't fit in with how the others work, then you sit down, have a talk, name reasons and examples etc. and give advice or suggestions how the person could improve on those points.

Bullying is just this. Snide remarks every now and then, these small needle pinches that may come at any moment.

Jive Turkey · 03-08-2012, 07:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Vincent Vega

Irregardless

.

anitram · 03-08-2012, 08:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jive Turkey

.

I'm wondering how fluent your German would be?

I get being the grammar police, but come on, it's incredible that we have international posters who speak English this well and are able to engage with us without having to shame them for types of errors that a good chunk of native speakers would make.

Just my $0.02....

maycocksean · 03-08-2012, 09:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by moiph

Bullying, IMHO becomes a habit because kids don't know how else to feel important. It will continue into adulthood if it is ignored. They need to find better ways to boost their self esteem and that kind of skill building starts in elementary school.

This is the conventional wisdom, but I read a report somewhere recently (sorry, I can't recall the source

) that found that kids with good self esteem can be just as likely to bully as those with low self esteem. Some bullies, actually feel pretty damn good about themselves.

I think it is sometimes more complicated than mere self-esteem. The human capacity for cruelty, particularly towards the weak, is truly sad. I think perhaps bullying has as much to do with power differentials as anything else. Some people recognize those that are weaker, don't fit in etc and choose to be kind, others see as it as an opportunity to throw their power around for their own amusement.

MrsSpringsteen · 03-08-2012, 12:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by maycocksean

I think it is sometimes more complicated than mere self-esteem. The human capacity for cruelty, particularly towards the weak, is truly sad. I think perhaps bullying has as much to do with power differentials as anything else. Some people recognize those that are weaker, don't fit in etc and choose to be kind, others see as it as an opportunity to throw their power around for their own amusement.

I agree. I think lack of empathy is also a big factor.

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03-02-2012, 02:26 AM	#126
PhilsFan Blue Crack Addict Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: South Philadelphia Posts: 19,218 Local Time: 10:27 AM	Nearly all of them, dude. You are either an idiot or an asshole, there is literally no in between.

03-04-2012, 01:57 PM	#128
MrsSpringsteen Blue Crack Addict Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Thank you for your service Bono Posts: 28,999 Local Time: 09:27 AM	The person doing the bullying in a workplace or anywhere else is the one who isn't acting like an adult, not the victim of it. So I think the world bully is entirely age appropriate, considering their behavior. There are plenty of adult bullies in this world, and workplace bullying is a legitimate term that exists. I saw The Artist Friday and the trailer for Bully the documentary was shown, just the trailer was pretty emotional. They really need to do something so that movie can be seen by kids. Adults need to see it too. They should NOT censor the language, yes..talk about a grotesque irony. It does remind me of censoring the 9/11 documentaries for language. Completely ridiculous.

03-04-2012, 04:40 PM	#129
deep Blue Crack Addict Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: A far distance down. Posts: 28,603 Local Time: 06:27 AM	I think there is bullying in the work place. I think adults are capable of bullying. I think cyber-bullying is a form of bullying and adults participate in that. Ganging up is a form of bullying. I have seen occasional bullying in this forum. There was an article in my local paper about a large judgment because of workplace bullying California physician assistant wins $168 million in bullying suit - latimes.com

03-05-2012, 06:06 PM	#130
HBK-79 War Child Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: New Jersey Posts: 705 Local Time: 10:27 AM	Hey guys. I think I may have dealt with several episodes of workplace bullying at my last job. During my 18 months there, my boss at the time was the most unprofessional manager that I've ever come across. She would always raise her voice at me and give me dirty looks. She would also rudely criticize and scrutinize everything that I did. Worse, she would say to me the most hurtful things: "I don't care what you did at your last job" "I don't like your personality" "I don't have any confidence in you" "I don't know why you have to be different from us" "It's too exhausting to deal with you" Needless to say, she eventually fired me. Do you guys think I deserved to be treated like that?

03-05-2012, 06:10 PM	#131
Jive Turkey ONE love, blood, life Join Date: Mar 2005 Posts: 13,646 Local Time: 10:27 AM	How could we possibly answer that when we've never seen you work?

03-05-2012, 06:12 PM	#132
deep Blue Crack Addict Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: A far distance down. Posts: 28,603 Local Time: 06:27 AM	not much context were you a member of a barbershop quartet? a sex worker? Are you Julie Taymor?

03-06-2012, 04:05 PM	#133
HBK-79 War Child Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: New Jersey Posts: 705 Local Time: 10:27 AM	My work is pretty much irrelevant. I can't think of one boss who would tell one of his or her subordinates "I don't like your personality". That's pretty unprofessional if you ask me. Especially if everyone at my job really liked working with me.

03-06-2012, 05:16 PM	#134
Jive Turkey ONE love, blood, life Join Date: Mar 2005 Posts: 13,646 Local Time: 10:27 AM	Your work has everything to do with it. Depending on your behaviour and productivity, that is maybe the only quote that might be a little off side. Me thinks you're being a little bit sensitive

03-08-2012, 02:48 AM	#135
moiph The Fly Join Date: Feb 2012 Location: Seattle Posts: 81 Local Time: 07:27 AM	Bullying is a complex situation. Kids taunt each other in school and that is natural but the extremes to which some kids take it should never be allowed. Punishing it may work at a young age, but in my experience punishing an adult for bullying does not work. The behavior should not be allowed or tolerated in the first place. Ignoring it will usually cause it to escalate, not make it better. When it comes to kids, the best option is to take the kid and work through it (if you have the means) and get them to express themselves in more appropriate ways. I was never taunted too badly in school, mostly because I stayed out of the way and never made myself a target. However I did experience some bullying in my adult life on an internet forum. My childhood of respectful encounters actually helped me to deal with the situation, because I already knew that people like that were not worth attention. In my childhood, those people were looked down on and never got anywhere. So that's how I viewed them and dealt with it. Bullying, IMHO becomes a habit because kids don't know how else to feel important. It will continue into adulthood if it is ignored. They need to find better ways to boost their self esteem and that kind of skill building starts in elementary school. A contrasting perspective, my fiance was bullied rather horrifically her entire life. She is extremely sensitive because of it. Nobody ever babied her. Her dad always told her to "just deal with it and get over it". She can't, it's just not in her nature. She did ignore it, but ultimately it did have an effect on her by making her even more sensitive. She's living proof that "let the kids deal with it, they're just being babied too much today" does not work at all. She lost her trust in authority figures after watching them allow other kids to do terrible things to her. One of the things I will never forget is when she told me that she stopped trusting adults by 4th grade because she knew they couldn't protect her. There needs to be a balance. You need to give kids a chance to fend for themselves, and let them have their tolerance pushed, but you also need to know when it's time to step in and say "Enough". At their core, bullies are people who trip on power. They like to have control over other people. Ignoring them just means they'll go find someone else to abuse--someone who is less strong than you. You need to start from an early age and teach them that there are better ways to get what they want and better ways to "find power".