Simple Lyric Re-Write Project #1: Electrical Storm

One Tree Still · 07-30-2003, 12:13 PM

"...night is heavy, heavy as a truck...we need the rain to wash away our bad luck..."

could read

"...night is heavy, heavy like a truck...when will the rain wash away the bad luck?"

celia · 07-30-2003, 06:04 PM

lol, you remind me of my english teacher

beegee · 07-31-2003, 10:28 AM

either way, the lyric still sucks.

dlihcraw · 09-20-2004, 09:19 PM

“Electrical Storm” is a powerful song that examines the misfortunes and triumphs of an intimate relationship between two lovers in very simplistic and analogous language. To remove the pronouns "we" and "our" from the lyric mentioned is to help make the song impersonal and irrelevant to its own message. The specificity of "like" distracts the song from achieving an emotional flow. "As" extends to the song a more natural way of speech and thought, creating a more realistic tone in the narrator's voice and enhancing overall appreciation for the song from listeners.

In short, I disagree wholeheartedly!

meital · 09-21-2004, 11:17 AM

Quote:

“Electrical Storm” is a powerful song that examines the misfortunes and triumphs of an intimate relationship between two lovers in very simplistic and analogous language

I agree with you!
I think it is one of the best love song. i love the lyrics and wouldn't change them!

Inner El Guapo · 09-26-2004, 12:13 AM

night is heavy as fuck.....that works for me

UnforgettableLemon · 10-17-2004, 10:38 PM

I thought it was "air" not "night"

Also, IEG, I thought the same thing when I heard it for the first few... ever

steak · 10-20-2004, 03:17 AM

I thought it was "heavy as a drug"

Scorpionac · 11-18-2011, 06:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by steak

I thought it was "heavy as a drug"

That would have worked.

Or maybe "the air is heavy, heavy and we're stuck".

Such a bad line in such a great song.

bono_212 · 11-18-2011, 06:56 PM

M-m-m-megabump!

Galeongirl · 11-19-2011, 12:04 PM

Wow 7 years. That has to be a record!

Gynoid · 11-24-2011, 08:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by steak

I thought it was "heavy as a drug"

I also always understood "drug". I would not change it though, not the best line, sure, but not the worst either.

07-30-2003, 06:04 PM	#2
celia New Yorker Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: all maps welcome Posts: 2,766 Local Time: 03:04 AM	lol, you remind me of my english teacher __________________

11-18-2011, 06:56 PM	#10
bono_212 Blue Crack Distributor Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: Los Angeles Posts: 83,919 Local Time: 08:04 PM	M-m-m-megabump! __________________

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07-30-2003, 12:13 PM	#1
One Tree Still Acrobat Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: high on a desert plain Posts: 325 Local Time: 07:04 PM	Simple Lyric Re-Write Project #1: Electrical Storm "...night is heavy, heavy as a truck...we need the rain to wash away our bad luck..." could read "...night is heavy, heavy like a truck...when will the rain wash away the bad luck?" __________________

07-31-2003, 10:28 AM	#3
beegee Neon Zebra Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: southern nevada Posts: 10,616 Local Time: 08:04 PM	either way, the lyric still sucks.

09-20-2004, 09:19 PM	#4
dlihcraw The Fly Join Date: Mar 2004 Posts: 199 Local Time: 03:04 AM	“Electrical Storm” is a powerful song that examines the misfortunes and triumphs of an intimate relationship between two lovers in very simplistic and analogous language. To remove the pronouns "we" and "our" from the lyric mentioned is to help make the song impersonal and irrelevant to its own message. The specificity of "like" distracts the song from achieving an emotional flow. "As" extends to the song a more natural way of speech and thought, creating a more realistic tone in the narrator's voice and enhancing overall appreciation for the song from listeners. In short, I disagree wholeheartedly!

09-26-2004, 12:13 AM	#6
Inner El Guapo War Child Join Date: Sep 2004 Posts: 609 Local Time: 09:04 PM	night is heavy as fuck.....that works for me

10-17-2004, 10:38 PM	#7
UnforgettableLemon Rock n' Roll Doggie ALL ACCESS Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Lansdale, PA Posts: 7,287 Local Time: 10:04 PM	I thought it was "air" not "night" Also, IEG, I thought the same thing when I heard it for the first few... ever

10-20-2004, 03:17 AM	#8
steak The Fly Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Melbourne Australia Posts: 210 Local Time: 02:04 PM	I thought it was "heavy as a drug"