Consider:
1986: U2 scrap the Joshua Tree sessions and go out on the hype of the TV Gaga appearance. The band is forever remembered as inthistowntastic and drunk. We never have to endure Love Rescue Me, Larry Mullen singing Tequila Sunrise, or this. However, the world never gets to experience Heartland, Lovetown, One Tree Hill and its partners in Joshua Tree crime ... on second thoughts, this is a horrible idea that has no business being in a poll with the four following good ideas. Even if it would have spared us Bogan Bono invading David Bowie's stage.
1990: U2's eighties canon stands sound and untarnished, and the band go out after their best tour ever, Lovetown. We never have to endure Bono trying to orgasm during a Cole Porter cover, the contrived nature and predictability of ZooTV, Bono shoving a camera in his crotch, or TTTYAATW. However, the world never gets to experience The Fly, Acrobat, Love Is Blindness, or prank calls to the White House.
1993: U2 tarnish their legacy a little with desperate trend-hopping and too much leather, but at least we get the creative brilliance of Zooropa. We never have to endure Adam's best impression of anorexia, or the nausea of Elvis Ate America. However, the world never gets to experience Slug, Your Blue Room, Beach Sequence, or Bono trying and failing to look bohemian.
1995: U2 atone for their early nineties sins with Passengers and go out as creative geniuses, even if half their fanbase is too closed-minded to accept anything that they can't scream "IN THAAA NAAAAYYYYM OOOOVVV LUUUUUVVV" to while drunk. We never have to endure Miami, ten thousand different mixes of Discotheque, or Pride hitting previously unimaginable live lows. However, the world never gets to experience Gone, Please, or the hilarious thought of U2 trapped inside a forty foot lemon in Oslo.
1998: U2 consider re-recording Sweetest Thing but instead realise a much smarter option is to quit. Sure, their eighties legacy has been tarnished a bit and Bono's vocals declined to the point of unlistenability, but we got some diamonds in the rough for our troubles and U2 got their lazy arses to South America, South Africa, Israel, and one hell of a show in Sarajevo.
Under all four options, the world never gets to experience the unmitigated horror of ATYCLB, HTDAAB, and Bono's messianic complex growing even larger than Jesus's. Losing TGBHF and Electrical Storm is a small price to pay for U2 leaving a legacy in which they don't look like total boobs.
1986: U2 scrap the Joshua Tree sessions and go out on the hype of the TV Gaga appearance. The band is forever remembered as inthistowntastic and drunk. We never have to endure Love Rescue Me, Larry Mullen singing Tequila Sunrise, or this. However, the world never gets to experience Heartland, Lovetown, One Tree Hill and its partners in Joshua Tree crime ... on second thoughts, this is a horrible idea that has no business being in a poll with the four following good ideas. Even if it would have spared us Bogan Bono invading David Bowie's stage.
1990: U2's eighties canon stands sound and untarnished, and the band go out after their best tour ever, Lovetown. We never have to endure Bono trying to orgasm during a Cole Porter cover, the contrived nature and predictability of ZooTV, Bono shoving a camera in his crotch, or TTTYAATW. However, the world never gets to experience The Fly, Acrobat, Love Is Blindness, or prank calls to the White House.
1993: U2 tarnish their legacy a little with desperate trend-hopping and too much leather, but at least we get the creative brilliance of Zooropa. We never have to endure Adam's best impression of anorexia, or the nausea of Elvis Ate America. However, the world never gets to experience Slug, Your Blue Room, Beach Sequence, or Bono trying and failing to look bohemian.
1995: U2 atone for their early nineties sins with Passengers and go out as creative geniuses, even if half their fanbase is too closed-minded to accept anything that they can't scream "IN THAAA NAAAAYYYYM OOOOVVV LUUUUUVVV" to while drunk. We never have to endure Miami, ten thousand different mixes of Discotheque, or Pride hitting previously unimaginable live lows. However, the world never gets to experience Gone, Please, or the hilarious thought of U2 trapped inside a forty foot lemon in Oslo.
1998: U2 consider re-recording Sweetest Thing but instead realise a much smarter option is to quit. Sure, their eighties legacy has been tarnished a bit and Bono's vocals declined to the point of unlistenability, but we got some diamonds in the rough for our troubles and U2 got their lazy arses to South America, South Africa, Israel, and one hell of a show in Sarajevo.
Under all four options, the world never gets to experience the unmitigated horror of ATYCLB, HTDAAB, and Bono's messianic complex growing even larger than Jesus's. Losing TGBHF and Electrical Storm is a small price to pay for U2 leaving a legacy in which they don't look like total boobs.
to all options!!
Larry WHY?????
