Dear Bono
in the 1990s Sonny Bono was skiing down the mountain and he ran into a tree - he did not survive.
In 2010 you tore your back up pretty badly and had to have back surgery, post-poned the most successful tour of all time for half of a year.
In 2014 Chaz Bono had a full sex change - complete with 8==D
Then, your band pulled the Apple itunes stunt, pissing off millions. And a month or two later the GOP took cuntroll of the house & senate
Just last week you were flying around in a lear jet and a door flew off, luggage flying around the German countryside dodging cows and sheep.
So here we are present day, and you seem to have kissed the ground face first while avoiding every dog on the street (or the naked cowboy).
Please BONO, for the love of God, will you please change your fucking name. And maybe ditch the bicycle and get a treadmill.
Oh yeah, get well soon old chap
XOXOXO