Slow down my beating heart- a story about u2, me and my dad

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popsadie

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Jun 20, 2000
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Hsinchu, Tawain
Some parents share their favorite football teams or recipes with their children; my father shared his favorite rock band. Through that, he shared many more things: his fears, his religious struggles, and his passions. In addition, through U2, he shared the last hours of his life.

U2 had been a point of contact between my father and me since I converted to U2 fandom in the summer of 1997. Having mistakenly heard a rumour that my favorite band of that time was opening for U2 in Dallas, Texas, I begged my dad to get us tickets for the concert. He agreed, on the grounds that it would be my high school graduation present. So, he searched the classifieds for advertisements and found two nosebleed seats. Of course, by the time that he found the seats, I found out that the rumour was false. The Smashing Pumpkins were not opening for U2. Regardless, I had heard that a U2 concert was a great show, so I told my dad to buy the tickets. We went to the show together and a new U2 fan (me) was born.

Ever since that summer night in May, my father and I had been U2 fans. We went to U2 concerts together and attended each other's "listening parties" for new albums. We listened to each other relate U2 songs to political, spiritual and general life struggles and we poked fun (in good nature of course) at our favorite LV's soundbites and fashion choices. Our shared fandom brought us together and kept the door open for communication, even during times when we didn't get along so well.

Our shared fandom endured to the end. This might be why I decided to use U2's music to say goodbye. He was fighting a losing battle with pneumonia, brought on by a immune system severely weakened by Hepatitis C and the nurses told me that although he couldn't talk anymore, he could still probably hear me. I had already spent half an hour repeating "I love you daddy and Jesus loves you daddy," and was starting to get tired of hearing my own voice. Still, I wanted to let him know how much I loved him and thought that U2 might say it better than I had. So, during the last hours of my father's life, as he drifted in and out of consciousness, I shared the U2 that I had on my mp3 player.

I put one headphone in his left ear and one headphone in my ear and played about 20 U2 songs consecutively from Under a Blood Red Sky, U2 Best of 1980, and All That You Can't Leave Behind. As "Gloria" from Under a Blood Red Sky played, I found myself praying for God's mercy and wondering if the song could be speaking to him. I found myself thinking about how young and hopeful he must have been when he first heard "New Years Day" as a young parent in his late twenties, which was the same age I am now. Still, as moving and heart-breaking as the songs off of Under a Blood Red Sky and the Best of were, it was a deep cut off of All that You Can't Leave Behind that sliced open my rib cage, grabbed my heart and slammed it on the hospital floor. The song was "In a Little While" and I will never forget the moment when I sang with choked back tears, "Slow Down my beating heart...slowly love..slowly love". As the song played, I put one hand on his chest and one hand on my mine. My heart wouldn't listen....it kept on pounding. His chest, however was agonizingly responding to the song. Slowly, slowly...it was slowing down. I watched his heart rate go down two beats in the space of that song.

Sadly, his heart didn't stop slowing down after the song was finished. I played the last u2 song on my mp3 player for him on 12:30 P.M. and he breathed for the last time at 2:55 P.M. When the doctor pronounced him dead, all of the family with exception of myself left the room. I stayed and sang one last U2 song, "MLK". As I sang, "sleep tonight and may your dreams be realized" a tear rolled down my face. With the last note of "so let it rain...rain down on him," I sang goodbye to my daddy of 29 years, 10 months and 17 days.
 
What a wonderful daughter you are, and a special father he is. Thank you for sharing your story here.
May your memories give you comfort always.
 
thanks for your story

I wanted to thank you for posting your story and what you gave to us by opening up. I'm so sorry for your loss but I'm thankful for the gift you gave us by reminding us what matters - love and faith ... all that we can't leave behind.

I'm a daddy to a little girl and a little boy who is asleep on me as a I write (he's not into sleeping). They're already growing up with music (I hope it will include U2) so your story touched me deeply. I'm a musician and I write music in my limited spare time. They're little lives are certainly a muse. Music - what Van Morrison called the inarticulate language of the heart - is often the best language to express my love for them.

I hope I'll have a bond w/ my daughter like you had with your daddy. God bless you and let his peace rule in your heart.
 
Beautiful story. I'm so sorry for your loss. :hug:
 
OMG that made me cry
my pop died from pneumonia this year and it reminded me of him :sad:

im really sorry for your loss:hug:
and all the best to you and your family
 
what a heartwrenching, yet amazing story.
i can certainly relate to this, i too shared a love of u2 with my dad and although battling cancer, he took me to the vertigo tour and sang along every word with me.
where the streets had no name was his "song" at his funeral/celebration service and to this day every time i hear it i get goosebumps as the words have taken on a whole new meaning. the streets are now those in heaven.
thanks for sharing you story and just know that although losing someone you love is the hardest thing in world, u got to share beautiful moments together that you wll treasure forever, u2 will always be the special reminder of the person your father was.
 
Sorry for your loss. How old was your father?

Great story, and yes, In a Little While is magnificent. You've heard the Joey Ramone story?

:hug:
 
A beautiful tribute to your dad. I know what it is like to loss a father. And every time I hear the song "Kite." I think of mine.

I am so sorry for your loss. Please take care of yourself and know that you have friends who care.
 
Thank you so much for sharing your story.
What a beautiful way for your father to pass on, with a loving daughter by his side and hearing his favourite music speaking to him and guiding him on.
 
Thank you for sharing such a beautiful story. Our prayers are with you and your family.

I'm sure you made your Dad very happy by sharing U2 with him before he went to a much better place.
 
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